Today, I paid a social visit to my grandparents. While we were watching the news, a story came on about the Queen of England. I scoffed, "How is she not dead already? How old is she, anyway?" My grandmother replied, "About my age." Oops. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, we spent the day with my grandmother. During a family conversation, my sweet little grandmother looked me up and down, and without any hesitation said, "I remember you being so beautiful," before looking at my mother, mouthing, "What happened?" and laughing. She's 87. FML
Today, being the nice grandchild that I am, I went to visit my grandmother. She didn't recognise who I was. I thought she was joking. She later called the police as, "Some weirdo had walked into her house." I'm that weirdo; she wasn't joking. FML
Today, I was talking with my Grandma, who lives on the opposite side of the state, and congratulated her on reaching 87. She said she was hoping to reach 90. My brain went in a very morbid direction as I quietly wondered if she'd live to 90. She didn't hear it but my dad, her son, did. Apologizing didn't help. FML
Today, I told my grandmother I was planning a trip to take my newborn son to meet his great-great-grandfather before it was too late. She had a guilty expression on her face. My great-grandfather died 4 months ago and my family forgot to tell me. FML
Today, I decided to surprise-visit my grandparents. After knocking on the door and not getting a response, I opened it and walked in. Upon entering their house and yelling, "Hello", as I turned the corner I saw my near-deaf grandmother folding clothes while watching TV. She was topless. FML
Today, my grandma and I went to visit one of her friends. The elderly gentleman told me I'd grown into a very beautiful young woman, to which my grandma replied, "Have you started in on the sherry early this evening, Henry?" FML
Today, I learned the news about Queen Elizabeth in the most awkward way possible. My friend suddenly came into my house and shouted, "THE QUEEN IS DEAD!" It scared me so badly that I spit my drink out all over his clothes. Then I took another drink and spit it out again when I realized who he was referring to. FML
Today, I went to visit my senile grandma, since she's ill and nobody else in the family visits her. I ended up having to sit through a long rant about the Illuminati, black people, and how we'd have a cure for the common cold already if it weren't for "those god damned foreigners". FML
Today, while at my aunt's funeral, my grandma who has terrible memory loss asked me whose funeral we were at. I had to explain to her that her daughter had died. FML
Today, I visited my grandmother who has dementia. She thought I was my father, and told me that I should never have married my mother, let alone have had children with her. FML
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Top comments
kodinbug 2
That's bad. You're rude.
kitkatmeOw 8
How bloody inconsiderate of you! -slams my tea cup down-
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Comments (157)
pinkpixie06 11
Step 1- Open mouth. Step 2- Insert foot.
charvisioku 22
The only thing that makes this rude is that you said it in front of your grandma... but to be honest that was an accident. As for the fact you insulted old Lizzie over there.. who gives a ****? Monarchy's pretty much redundant over here anyway... it's really not a big deal. Nobody would moan if you'd insulted the Prime Minister or one of the Lords. Why should the monarch get such special treatment?
hiphopchick7 1
bcuz she is an elder and should still b respected no matter what
UnfortunaterFool 0
Who cares about England anyways? They are run by a woman!
hateevryone 15
Now why would you say that?
chinagirl3343 8
You're an ass.
tj4234 36
She's also not the Queen of England, she's the Queen of Great Britain and the Commonwealth. Don't call her the Queen of England because it's offensive to the Welsh, the Scottish and the Northern Irish. Or at least, to the ones who like the monarchy.
mal2012 4
YDI!!!!!! I Know, accident OP. we get it. But think 5 times before speaking.
HippyKat13 7
On behalf of my generation: I'm sorry.
outoftown 27
May you live long enough for your grandkid to return the favor; then, tell him/her your oops.
noisebox 1
David icke says the royals are shape shifting reptilians who eat sacrificed babies, it's probably true...