Today, I overheard my parents talking about our family pet. Or at least I thought they were, until my mother exclaimed, "Honestly, I don't know why we keep her." Our dog is male. FML
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Autumn: Leaves and Laughter
When the leaves fall, the laughter rises. Discover autumn stories as crisp as dried leaves!
Today, my mother called me at work, freaking out about my dog, so I panicked. What was wrong? He had a hard-on and she'd never seen that happen before. FML
Today, I was out walking my dog, when a lady called out to me asking, “Is that a boy or a girl?” Assuming she meant the dog, I told her that he was a boy. When I turned away, I heard her say to her kid, “I was talking about the person walking the dog, but whatever,” then audibly laughing. FML
Today, I was awoken by a conversation my mom was having with my dog upstairs. She was telling my dog that a ghost lives in our house. She was completely serious. The ghost even has a name and a backstory. FML
Today, I realized my mom tells our dogs she loves them more than she says it to me. FML
Today, my dad called my by the family dog's name, and stared at me blankly as if struggling to remember my name when I was annoyed. FML
Today, my mother informed me that she sold my dog to pay off some bills. FML
Today, I was on the phone with my boyfriend. I had to fart really badly, so thinking that he wouldn't hear me, I did so. He heard me and asked, "Did you fart?" I said "No, it was my dog." I don't have a dog, and he knows this. FML
Today, I was talking with my wife of five years, and I gave her a few hints about wanting kids. After our talk, she looked at me completely serious and said, "Yeah yeah, kids are great and all, but can't we just get you a dog?" FML
Today, I asked my wife who she would choose, me or the dog. She chose the dog. No hesitation. FML
Today, I listened to my mom having a conversation with my dog, asking him if he ate my hamster. My hamster isn't even dead. FML
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Top comments
LilMissCanadian 22
Don't sweat it OP, they probably weren't being serious. Parents always say things like that when they're ticked off.
drayloon 50
Maybe your parents didn't like the dog because they thought she was a bitch?
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Comments (59)
oasis359 13
does op have a grandma?
thepeanutoftime 8
Hey guys- OP here. I honestly fell out of my chair when I read this. My first post! Comment #16, you have inspired me to keep on hoping that my letter to Hogwarts shall someday come. I'm pretty sure my mom just forgot the gender of our dog, Chip. But, it's funny to think differently XD
colder13 10
Stop peeing on the floor.
Whatapuffchild 23
Bite them and show dominance
HKKillFeeDz 11
LOOOOOOOL