Today, I overheard my parents talking about our family pet. Or at least I thought they were, until my mother exclaimed, "Honestly, I don't know why we keep her." Our dog is male. FML
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Autumn: Leaves and Laughter
When the leaves fall, the laughter rises. Discover autumn stories as crisp as dried leaves!
Today, my mother called me at work, freaking out about my dog, so I panicked. What was wrong? He had a hard-on and she'd never seen that happen before. FML
Today, I was out walking my dog, when a lady called out to me asking, “Is that a boy or a girl?” Assuming she meant the dog, I told her that he was a boy. When I turned away, I heard her say to her kid, “I was talking about the person walking the dog, but whatever,” then audibly laughing. FML
Today, I was awoken by a conversation my mom was having with my dog upstairs. She was telling my dog that a ghost lives in our house. She was completely serious. The ghost even has a name and a backstory. FML
Today, I realized my mom tells our dogs she loves them more than she says it to me. FML
Today, my dad called my by the family dog's name, and stared at me blankly as if struggling to remember my name when I was annoyed. FML
Today, my mother informed me that she sold my dog to pay off some bills. FML
Today, I was on the phone with my boyfriend. I had to fart really badly, so thinking that he wouldn't hear me, I did so. He heard me and asked, "Did you fart?" I said "No, it was my dog." I don't have a dog, and he knows this. FML
Today, I was talking with my wife of five years, and I gave her a few hints about wanting kids. After our talk, she looked at me completely serious and said, "Yeah yeah, kids are great and all, but can't we just get you a dog?" FML
Today, I asked my wife who she would choose, me or the dog. She chose the dog. No hesitation. FML
Today, I listened to my mom having a conversation with my dog, asking him if he ate my hamster. My hamster isn't even dead. FML
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Top comments
LilMissCanadian 22
Don't sweat it OP, they probably weren't being serious. Parents always say things like that when they're ticked off.
drayloon 50
Maybe your parents didn't like the dog because they thought she was a bitch?
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Comments (59)
Tripartita 44
I wonder if Harry Potter ever overheard any similar conversions. I guess what I'm trying to say is that you're probably an adopted wizard whose admission letter to Hogwarts will show up any day now.
fakedsincerity 32
That is the most inspirational thing I've heard all year.
Patriots21 14
Getting pretty tired of your comments 16.
Tripartita 44
Those are fighting words, partner. I challenge you to a duel in the moderation section! I'll see you behind the submission with the worst grammar at high noon, east coast time!
pockleboy 7
Don't worry, a lot of times humans will refer to there pets as females
mds9986 24
I accidentally call my dog a she all the time by accident. I highly doubt this was about you...
boredgirl_02 14
Am I the only one who thinks the mom is referring to a female 'pet' and not the daughter? It sounds to me mom and dad have someone else in the bedroom.
LPac5295 27
You could always confront her about it. She could be talking about anything.
LPac5295 27
If you're 18 or older maybe it's time to try looking for your own place OP. If you can financially afford it that is.
GreyJedi 10
Pretty sure you have the wrong species.
tomvertigo 17
People identify genders of animals to themselves, even if they know otherwise. My mom calls our dog a her and we've had HIM for 13 years. Simple slip of the tongue, OP!
feven 32
Maybe they'll donate you to a nice family. Don't worry too much.
Ienvyp 11
Seriously bitch, who says that? Youre a girl too right, trust me i doubt it
feven 32
#32 Sorry if it was offensive but I was joking.
leogachi 15
@35 It wasn't offensive, #32 was being overly sensitive and reacted inappropriately.
baby4mommy 27
. . . but what if it's the "farm" upstate?
Ienvyp 11
I hate the fact that some parents really say that, sad stories make me cry, but trust me, if they are are your biological parents, i bet they were kidding or they were just not talking about you, maybe they have other issues we kids never know about..
Dr_Lily_fml 17
And if they are her adoptive parents, they're allowed to say that? -_-