By emopoe - 09/10/2013 18:25 - United States - Salem
emopoe tells us more.
OP here. I can't live with a roommate, did that for 4 years and learned a lot about what happens when your roomie doesn't come up with their half of the rent, and lost way too many friends that way. It would be worse than what I'm dealing with now. Our apartment is already the cheapest in town, I don't have parents or friends to move in with. The bright side is, my boyfriend is NOT abusive. And to the nasty comments that say YDI for using him for money, I clearly stated we split the rent.
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You can still break up, maybe sit down with him and talk about your relationship, and how things have changed from when you started dating, you may be surprised he might even feel the same way, and you can figure out the best way to end your relationship amicably. And even have enough time to figure out your living arrangements.
Find a share with a roommate. There are plenty of available rooms if you look for them.
It's still pretty dishonest to stay in a relationship just because she can't afford to get out of it. Especially if the boyfriend has no idea. Whichever way you look at it, she's a golddigger if she stays, the fact she's digging in a worked-out mine doesn't change that.
#77 - You don't know that, her boyfriend might be completely capable of paying rent on his own. Just because they split the rent doesn't mean the both earn/spend exactly the same amount of money. As for telling her boyfriend the truth, maybe it's not the smartest thing to do, but I think we'll be seeing a FML from him when he finds out why she's staying with him.
no it doesnt mean they spend exactly thr same or earb thr same but its a very good bet that a split rent means they both cant afford to pay the full rent. putting that aside i agree that its a bad reason to stay. surely there are friends or family who would symapthise and let her move in for a bit. her next option is to explain and ask to sleep on the couch. its not ideal but at least its upfront.
It doesn't mean that she's a gold digger at all. It just means that she needs to find somethin more reliable before she ends homeless because she had to break up with someone. Sure, being dishonest is a little harsh, but it's not like it's going to last forever. OP will tell him that she's ready for him to go when she's ready. Break ups are difficult, and like this FML, can sometimes make you look like the shitty person.
Agreed with number 1. Get a friend to help you out or find one to move in with.
Another reason I'm glad to be financially independent. If things go south in my relationship, my boyfriend will be the one who gets financially screwed.
You could still be screwed yourself, though. My ex decided to get revenge on me for kicking him out by dragging his feet on the actual move. I had no legal standing to make him move more quickly, either, since both our names were on the lease, even though I was the only one paying rent. Bottom line? Make sure both parties are financially solvent before moving in together.
i was financially independant but due to me having to cut work hours since we have a child i am now dependent. these things happen. its part of the trust of a relationship that you can do these things together and rely on the other person. unfortunately not everything lasts forever. op wont be the only person who has founs themselves in this situation.
71, My ex husband screwed me over in a far worse way. He was perpetually unemployed, while I had a decent paying job. He spent all my money on drugs and alcohol, so that I sometimes was so broke I couldn't even buy cat litter. He also took out credit cards in my name and got me thousands of dollars into debt. Once I got rid of him, though, my life and my finances only got better. That's what I mean. My financial situation was improved by ending my relationship. For OP the opposite will be true. However, that's no reason to stay in her shitty relationship. It's just yet s another complication she'll have to.deal with.