Today, I overheard my 5 year old daughter call a girl in her dance class a slut. Shocked, I asked her where she heard that word. Her response: "I heard you and Daddy say it about her Mommy." FML
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Today, my husband and I sat our 10-year-old daughter down for a chat over her recent cursing. When my husband asked where she'd heard the words, she "innocently" replied, "from mommy's other boyfriend." He took her seriously, accused me of cheating, and hasn't been home since. FML
Today, I overheard my 11-year-old son giving my 8-year-old daughter the sex talk. FML
Today, I took my 4-year-old daughter to the local pool for swim lessons. As we walked onto the deck she turned to me and said "Mom, that lady has really big boobs!" The whole pool heard, even the man my daughter was referring to. FML
Today, I came home from work to my 4-year old daughter cussing left and right. I asked her about it; she said that her brother had taught her some words. When I confronted him about the situation, he kicked my shin and screamed, "Stop treating me like a fucking child!" He's 5. FML
Today, my 7-year-old used the word "crap". When I told her that she mustn't use that word because it's rude, she simply replied, "Mother, you should hear the words I use at school." FML
Today, my 2-year-old daughter overheard my wife and I arguing and fixated on one particular insult my wife threw at me. Now my daughter won't stop saying "Daddy a numbnuts", always with a big smile on her face. FML
Today, I got a call from my daughter's pre-school. Apparently, she is being suspended, for answering; "What do your parents do at home?" She told them, "My parents fuck." FML
Today, I punched an older woman in the face. I only hit her after she grabbed my 4-year-old daughter and told her to, "stop dancing like a whore!" My daughter was so terrified, she peed her pants. FML
Today, a 7-year-old girl came up to me and told me to go fuck myself. I told her to watch her language or else I'd tell her parents. Her mom happened to be nearby and actually heard the conversation; she came up to me and told me to go fuck myself as well. FML
Today, my 7 year-old daughter loudly asked in the middle of a supermarket, "Mummy, what's a cunt?" FML
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Top comments
xScarletx 0
Yeah YDI for talking like that around your 5 year old
Broc 0
Why are you bad-mouthing people like that at all, let alone in front of a five-year-old? Really, it says more about your own insecurities...
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Comments (106)
kellster 2
Major parenting fail. Congratulations.
vag_fml 0
serious parenting fail. man, you win judgemental douche of the year. and taught your little girl to call other women *****. good job!
Ibeapirate 0
Karma, thy name is children. There's a lesson to be learned here, for both you and your kid.
Carribu 0
YDI and your daughter will be a bitch when she's older.
cxal_fml 0
If you thought the word was inappropriate than why are you using it?????
dizzyyy 0
LoL!! That's funny I can see my kid doing that...
Tsukasa_fml 0
Parenting FAIL!
oligopsony 0
#44: that's like asking "but what if someone is was a ******?" How many people someone sleeps with is morally irrelevant, and judging someone for it is doubly bad if you're applying the double standard, which is usually implied by the use of the word "****." YDI.
illeyad 0
This is both an FML and a YDI. It's a YDI becayse you should never talk in front of your kids, especially when it involves swear words/adult subjects. It's also an FML because there is no parent in the world who has not been in this position before- we forget how much kids observe.
BlaisOf_Fire91 0
I once exclaimed "son of a bitch!" to my paternal grandmother after losing a game of go-fish when I was 5. I learned that phrase from my father, so definitely watch what you say around your kids xD