Miscellaneous: Today, I once again had another guy's sweaty crotch pushed into...

By Chilaxe - 03/05/2014 22:44 - United States - Shawnee

Today, I once again had another guy's sweaty crotch pushed into my face. I still don't see why I enjoy wrestling. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 908

You deserved it 35 335

Chilaxe tells us more.

Chilaxe 15

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Monday 5 May 2014 22:17

Hey, OP here, thought I'd comment to clear some stuff up. First, I really enjoy wrestling, I've done it since a young age and I love the competitiveness, the endurance it takes, ALMOST everything about it lol. It was just a bad day and that happening it just annoyed me, honestly, if you wrestle and that hasn't happened once, you're lucky lol, happens to the best. Also, I didn't mean to give a bad name to wrestling at all, trust me, I know all the jokes about it and it bothers me as much as any other wrestler, but hey, that stuff happens, you just ignore it and keep going. I did enjoy reading your comments though lol

Miscellaneous

Hiding from the drama

Triage

Anxiety

By Username - 13/09/2010 23:19 - France

Today, I found out my grandmother doesn't wear underwear when she bent over in front of me in her inappropriately short nightgown. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 544

You deserved it 2 814

By Trey Deluna - 03/12/2010 17:12 - United States

Today, my mother asked me to drill a hole in one of the studs in her ceiling. Finding it a little odd, I asked her about it. It turns out she's installing the sex swing her boyfriend bought her, and I got to help. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 431

You deserved it 3 134

By NoticeTheLackOfNumbers - 12/08/2009 22:43 - United States

Today, I was at the store when I saw that a cart in the checkout line next to me was starting to roll away and the owner hadn't noticed. I tried to help by reaching out to stop the cart from moving, but when the owner saw me with the cart, she began to hit me for trying to steal her purse. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 677

You deserved it 3 233

By Anonymous - 28/12/2010 03:25 - United States

Today, I had to choose between living with my over protective dad who only uses me for free childcare, or my pot smoking mom who always needs to borrow money. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 655

You deserved it 2 994

Unreasonable demands

By Anonymous - 12/06/2021 06:01

Today, my girlfriend was mad I have so many female contacts in my phone and demanded I delete some of them. Two thirds of them are blood relatives, the rest are coworkers and one is a friend I’ve known since primary school, who is dying of a brain tumour. Which exactly should I delete? FML

I agree, your life sucks 973

You deserved it 95

By Username - 04/08/2011 09:15 - United States

Today, my twit of a husband admitted to falling for an internet scam involving a dead foreign politician, the promise of a share in millions of dollars currently stuck in a bank, and him having wired a large amount of our money to "bribe an official". FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 667

You deserved it 4 884

By Anonymous - 12/02/2015 03:59 - United States - Breaux Bridge

Today, I had my performance review at work. Under the "oral communication" category my boss wrote that I "act like an asshole." FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 386

You deserved it 5 977

By Anonymous - 28/08/2014 04:34 - United States - Boston

Today, my new boyfriend and I got intimate for the first time. He started whispering in my ear, but I couldn't understand him. He pushed me away and ignored me the rest of the night. Apparently it's a huge turn-off that I can't talk dirty in Klingon. FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 648

You deserved it 5 898

By idislikeblanks - 30/01/2013 07:03 - United States - Lathrop

Today, my 5-year-old nephew had the most amazing idea: to play a game with my keys. He took out all ten keys individually and hid them around the house. So far it's been two hours and I haven't found a single one. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 797

You deserved it 4 096

Lock in

By Anonymous - 19/11/2021 14:00

Today, my boss told me I could do my university work as long as I served customers when they came in. No customers came in all day, then I realised I’d been so focused on my laptop, I'd never noticed I’d left the bolt on the door, so customers couldn’t get in. My boss sacked me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 245

You deserved it 1 757

By Embarrassed Swimmer - 11/12/2011 07:23 - Australia

Today, I went to the pool with my new white bathers. I felt really good about myself because everyone was staring at me until this hot guy came up to me and said "Dude, your bathers are see-through. You need to shave!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 710

You deserved it 18 515

By blehhh - 04/04/2009 03:10 - United States

Today, I went to see my gynecologist. She was writing my symptoms up in my chart on her computer. After a little while, I noticed that she had a confused look on her face and was reading something instead. When I took a peek at the computer screen, I saw that she was Googling my symptoms. FML

I agree, your life sucks 98 029

You deserved it 4 554

By Anonymous - 15/12/2009 08:10 - United States

Today, I was excited when I saw a missed call. It wasn't my ex-boyfriend finally willing to talk, it was the creepy guy I met on the bus in November who I haven't seen since but has written me poetry. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 068

You deserved it 6 587

By Anonymous - 15/02/2014 23:14 - Australia - Fitzroy

Today, I proudly informed my grandma that I now have a girlfriend. My grandpa overheard and said how surprising that was, given how expensive blowup dolls are. He and my grandma then both laughed out loud. FML

I agree, your life sucks 49 155

You deserved it 6 273

By sigh - 29/03/2016 04:57 - United States - North Branford

Today, I gave the guy I've been seeing a copy of my newly published book, because I know he loves writing. He started reading and commented on how amazing it was. Then he gave it back. He didn't realize it was a gift. My awkward self didn't correct him. I'd written him a sweet letter inside. FML

I agree, your life sucks 19 291

You deserved it 4 868

That's tasty

By shithole - 26/12/2009 05:36 - United States

Today, my dad and I found in my house a water filter that has not been changed in over 20 years. We have been drinking that water that has been going through a filter that had more colors than a rainbow on it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 077

You deserved it 9 130

Rock, hard place

By Anonymous - 27/05/2021 11:01

Today, my parents have decided to ground me if I don’t wake up early. If I wake up early, I get migraines. Not only that, but the migraines always last for exactly as long as the grounding. FML

I agree, your life sucks 816

You deserved it 111

By God the smell - 09/08/2018 22:00

Today, my husband had a bad stomach bug and fever. While I was at work, he had diarrhoea but couldn't make it to the toilet so he went in the bin next to his desk, crawled back into bed, and passed out. It sat there in this heatwave for 5 hours. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 018

You deserved it 275

Unfair

By Anonymous - 09/05/2021 04:01

Today, I had to do a presentation. No one else in my group showed up, so I had to do it alone. I was given a failing grade for presenting by myself, and therefore not being a "team player". FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 147

You deserved it 50

By bcoper - 20/02/2010 14:03 - United States

Today, I was in pain due to overdoing it at the gym yesterday, so I thought a hot shower might help. Not only was there no hot water because of my sister's hour long showers, but I slipped getting out and hit my head. Now the pain is worse. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 324

You deserved it 3 251

By ant_hater - 28/08/2011 18:18 - United States

Today, a colony of ants announced that they'd moved into my bedroom closet as I went to get dressed for work. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 577

You deserved it 2 511

By Anonymous - 19/11/2018 05:00

Today, I signed for a delivery for my mom and something inside started to vibrate. I can't leave it because if she gets home and it's still vibrating she'll know I know what it is, but if I open it to turn it off, she'll know I've opened it and know what it is. Someone help me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 756

You deserved it 345

By Anonymous - 29/11/2011 16:15 - United States

Today, I was lying on the floor playing with my cat. I was holding her in the air, when my sister tripped over the TV cord and unplugged the cable. The TV made a loud fuzzy sound, I got scared and threw my cat in the air. I got scratched in the face by a falling cat. FML

I agree, your life sucks 17 514

You deserved it 27 243

By anonix - 21/12/2014 19:08 - Canada

Today, a customer came in with a laptop smashed beyond repair. She asked if we could recover her files, but thanks to my idiot boss' new store policy I had to ask her a bunch of questions, including if she had tried "turning it on and off". She stared at me, speechless, like I was a complete moron. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 836

You deserved it 4 370

By Anonymous - 25/07/2016 21:28 - United States - Spokane

Today, I sent a Snapchat the girl I've been flirting with all week. Her response was the back of her Coke Zero, which had the quote "You've Got a Friend in Me." I got rejected by a soda can. FML

I agree, your life sucks 15 044

You deserved it 1 707

By Anonymous - 06/01/2012 15:50 - United States

Today, while in bed with my boyfriend, I accidentally let one slip. While thinking "maybe he didn't hear, maybe he's sleeping", the shaking of the bed from his laughter let me know otherwise. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 478

You deserved it 9 386

Impressive

By Anonymous - 18/01/2021 04:58

Today, a small fly was harassing my face, then it landed on a book next to me. I waved at it to make it leave, but it didn't. I got my fingers closer to it, to scare it off. Instead, it jumped on my finger as a playful parrot pet, spent a moment there, and flew off. I cannot even intimidate a fly. FML

I agree, your life sucks 613

You deserved it 178

By mehdi - 13/10/2008 08:20

Today, I woke up and switched on the TV. The first thing I saw was a picture of a wanted rapist, who looks just like me. I'm afraid to leave home. FML

I agree, your life sucks 326 458

You deserved it 33 688

By nadalada - 18/02/2009 08:06 - United States

Today, My boyfriend gave me a gift card for $32 to a local salon. I thought the amount was kind of random, but when I went in I saw that the bikini wax was $32. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 408

You deserved it 13 957

Fix up look sharp

By Nalya - 09/01/2009 03:38 - France

Today, my boss told me that we're having a big meeting tomorrow, with lots of important people. Before leaving the room he added, "Please, tomorrow, try to dress better." FML

I agree, your life sucks 20 853

You deserved it 6 414

By mhmohyeah - 10/11/2009 23:05 - United States

Today, I was jumping on every crunchy leaf on the sidewalk. I went especially far out of my way to step on one only to notice it didn't crunch right. I looked closer, it was a dead bird. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 727

You deserved it 18 432

By Anonymous - 28/04/2009 04:35 - United States

Today, I was at soccer practice. The ground's keeper just aerated the field, and my teammates and I decided to throw the cylindrical clumps of dirt at each other. I got hit in the face with one. It wasn't dirt. It was a clump of wet dog poop. FML

I agree, your life sucks 50 317

You deserved it 13 494

By Heyy - 24/11/2010 17:55 - United States

Today, I was having sex with my boyfriend when he started shaking really hard. When I asked him what he was doing, he simply said "I want to be better than your vibrator!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 985

You deserved it 12 016

By BFons - 15/12/2014 02:07 - United States - Newark

Today, my wife and I are about to move across the country when the landlord for our new house called and said a water line busted and flooded the house. The movers are coming tomorrow. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 880

You deserved it 2 135

Not a morning person

By crazybitch - 18/06/2012 04:57 - Canada - Okotoks

Today, I learned that when my girlfriend told me that she's a different person without coffee and smokes in the morning, she wasn't kidding; after I'd asked her how she'd slept, she bitched me out for "mocking her" and hurled a hairdryer at my head. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 938

You deserved it 4 028

Social media is dangerous

By Anonymous - 27/11/2015 12:50 - United States - Ontario

Today, I spent half an hour trying to convince my husband not to re-enact a video he saw online of a guy tying some rope to a running chainsaw, then swinging it around his head. He finally agreed not to do something so stupid. A few hours later, he did it anyway. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 769

You deserved it 2 610

By nozVail - 20/11/2015 23:52 - United States

Today, I drove to my cousin's house so he could help me fix my broken tail light. On the way there, I got pulled over for having a broken tail light. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 274

You deserved it 3 714

By Anonymous - 12/07/2015 14:21 - United States - Boca Raton

Today, my grandpa accidentally posted a nude photo of himself on Facebook. I will never be able to unsee that. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 026

You deserved it 2 296

By Mylifesucks - 23/05/2013 05:11 - United States - Lexington

Today, I was stuck in my apartment complex's elevator. I was shouting out for help when a voice came screaming, "This is the fire department." I was relieved until he said, "Just kidding." FML

I agree, your life sucks 51 231

You deserved it 3 401

Going nowhere fast

By Shewhoisprobablyafurry - 03/05/2020 02:00

Today, I have a massive crush on a fictional character. Who happens to be an ermine. FML

I agree, your life sucks 495

You deserved it 1 080

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Top comments

SquealingMoose 14

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Sunday 4 May 2014 9:02

If you don't enjoy crotch in your face, stop wrestling. Simple.

mackdeezy 21

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Sunday 4 May 2014 9:03

Well wrestling is always described as "sweaty men in tights" so you can't say you didn't know what you were getting into.

azaelgza98 5

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Sunday 4 May 2014 9:01

first!

mackdeezy 21

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Sunday 4 May 2014 9:04

Really? You do realize your "first" is short lived because they always delete those posts.

SquealingMoose 14

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Sunday 4 May 2014 9:02

If you don't enjoy crotch in your face, stop wrestling. Simple.

badluckalex 23

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Sunday 4 May 2014 10:11

I bet op secretly likes sweaty balls in his face

rainbowdog 17

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Sunday 4 May 2014 10:54

#24, there's his reason for enjoying wrestling.

TheCanucklehead 22

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Sunday 4 May 2014 11:09

These are grown, sweaty, oiled up men giving each other belly to belly suplexes.

sweetest_jenn 18

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Sunday 4 May 2014 11:36

That's terrible advice. There are pros and cons in everything. OP does wrestling because he enjoys combat and contact sports, occasional sweaty crotches and all. Just like us women enjoy relationships and marriages. Occasional sweaty crotches and all...

Mauskau 35

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Sunday 4 May 2014 12:33

Jenn, one of those is a hobby, the other is a life choice.

MisterGasMoney 16

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Sunday 4 May 2014 13:04

#26, In your profile it says you enjoy sports and wrestling....But you're trashing wrestling in the FML? What???

mike7800 8

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Sunday 4 May 2014 17:08

wow #28 you sure are one Hell of a profiler cuz I for one don't who the Hell this guy is

sayyestothedress 24

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Sunday 4 May 2014 22:53

#24. He might be gay

Testing1234 25

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Monday 5 May 2014 3:06

I bet OP just wanted a published FML by lying about his secret gayness he loves crotch

badluckbayan 16

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Tuesday 6 May 2014 23:03

Oh dear god the imagery is too strong

mackdeezy 21

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Sunday 4 May 2014 9:03

Well wrestling is always described as "sweaty men in tights" so you can't say you didn't know what you were getting into.

IloveToLaugh143 21

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Monday 5 May 2014 5:59

Maybe OP can't see why he enjoys wrestling due to the balls in his face.

jtthegr8 26

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Sunday 4 May 2014 9:03

You can't really complain. I mean you knew it was happening and you still continue to wrestle. (I'm not saying you should stop)

LifeMD 14

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Sunday 4 May 2014 9:08

I'm sure there are other sports out there you would enjoy doing.

AnOriginalName 19

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Sunday 4 May 2014 9:09

Well maybe you can count this as motivation to train harder so that you can get that pin without all the crotch-to-face action.

onlychildFTW 33

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Sunday 4 May 2014 19:54

Or if he gets batter his crotch can go in the other guys face. Haha.

laxbrosive 4

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Monday 5 May 2014 0:27

if he buys some batter then he'll definitely win all the time.

T_and_A 4

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Monday 5 May 2014 4:16

So he should batter his crotch, then put it in the other guy's face? Yeah that should do it.

Jaredphamtom 10

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Sunday 4 May 2014 9:09

That happened to my buddy while wrestling, except it was his teammate who took out his sack and put it on the back of his head... He ended up quitting

gracehi 31

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Sunday 4 May 2014 9:09

Admit it... You love being man handled by sweaty, muscle bound men. It's okay. This is the twenty first century. We won't judge. ;)

elcee1987 18

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Sunday 4 May 2014 17:21

Well I'm judging a little ;)

Ryanc621 9

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Monday 5 May 2014 19:10

That winky face does not belong in that sentence. I'm a racist ;) See? Just doesn't work

foxwasalamb 24

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Sunday 4 May 2014 9:14

dont lie, we all know you secretly enjoy it. FML is a safe place, you can tell us. were like a family

illegalbeagle69 23

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Sunday 4 May 2014 9:21

A large, totally beyond screwed up family.

bpickett18 16

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Sunday 4 May 2014 17:07

Pribably the most unsuportive famiky ever.

OysterPearls 33

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Sunday 4 May 2014 18:57

Only when our members' grammar is as terrible as yours, 48.

cakefete2 30

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Sunday 4 May 2014 18:58

Come on, did you even try to proofread that one?!

Shrouds 14

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Sunday 4 May 2014 19:47

a Famiky sounds prett cool. I'll take three.

illegalbeagle69 23

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Sunday 4 May 2014 9:14

Who the hell wouldn't be grossed out by that.. And if this is a reason you dislike wrestling and you don't have any other reason to enjoy it, why torture yourself and continue?