Today, I met a hot guy at the bar and we hit it off instantly. After a few drinks, he called a cab for us. When it arrived, I seducingly asked, "My place or yours?" He responds, "Both. I'll go to mine and you go to yours" and walked away. The cab driver laughed the whole way home. FML
Collection
Wild Nights Out
Last call, bad decisions and 3 a.m. texts you'll regret until noon. Cheers.
Today, I was at a club with a friend. A cute guy kept smiling and looking over at me. He left his seat and went to the bar and brought back two drinks. He waved me over and then said, "Can you tell your hot friend that I bought her a drink?" FML
Today, after a great double date with my best friend and two really hot guys, we went back to my place. My friend and I left the guys in the living room to go grab some more wine. When we came back, we found our dates making out with each other on the couch. FML
Today, my boyfriend called me as I was getting ready for bed and asked me to pick him up from the bar. Being a loving girlfriend I drive the 45 minutes; when I get there his friend informs me he left about 45 minutes ago. FML
Today, I went out drinking with my friends. Being safe as we were a little intoxicated, we took a taxi back. The cab driver was also drunk. FML
Today, I met a girl at a bar. After buying her a few drinks, we decided to head back to her place. Not wanting to leave either of our cars, I followed her home. While driving, she sent me text because she missed her exit. I tried to text her back something witty and instead rear ended her. FML
Today, I met a great guy at the bar, and we went back to my place. He left before I woke up, leaving a badly-scrawled note saying, "Gone to work, call me!" I couldn't make out the number. FML
Today, the guy I've been sleeping with for the last three weeks got really drunk. I drove him home from the party and took care of him. At 2am he asked for the phone. When I asked what for, he said he wanted to drunk dial his girlfriend. FML
Today, I had a fancy dinner date with a really hot guy. Near the end of our meal, he asked if I wanted to go back to his place. As soon as we walked in the door, he started a religious debate with his roommate. It's been 45 minutes and it's still going. FML
Today, I finally found the courage to ask a guy I like out for a drink. He accepted, we drank, and when it came time to go home, I half-drunkenly left him my number. Once I got back home, I realized I'd actually given him my dad's number instead. FML
Today, I was driving in a busy area looking for a place to park. I happened to lock eyes with a really handsome man who was walking alongside the road. He approached my car with a huge, gorgeous smile, and as I rolled my window down, he asked, "Are you my Uber?" FML
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Top comments
SkoomaKi 28
Unlucky OP, but quite creative on his part.
the_true_batman 10
Seducingly? I think you mean seductively. And you totally deserved it.
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Comments (251)
mea_iloveskiing 26
At least he's got some respect
TheDrudgeChild 4
Not all guys think with their dicks.
icallbullshit 3
WILSOOOOOOOOOOOOONNN!
loufol22 5
You didn't give him enough beer! No really sorry OP
loufol22 5
Dammit I accidentally thumbed myself down
SkoomaKi 28
There, I thumbed you up. You'd think it would be the guy trying to get her drunk.
Bobissmall 13
If you're into stereotypes and stuff, sure.
cdjock42 0
First...yeah
SkoomaKi 28
HEY 1!! HEY YOU!! YOU WANT A COOKIE??!! TOO BAD YOU AINT GETTING SHIT!!!
KeyboardWarrior 10
Congrats11!1!!11!1!1!1!!1!11!1!1!1!1!1!1!1!1!1!1!1!1!1!1!1!1!1!1!1!!1!11!1!1!!11!!1!1!1!1!1!1!1!1!1!1 Now ask if we care.
alexup24 13
1- No ones done that on FML since 2009 and possibly 2010, get with the program.
Cad6 24
No I'm first.
DooleyFTW 17
Response to first? Seems just about as important to me. Please just don't comment from now on, for the good of the sanity of the FML population.
iviviii 0
Some ppl take fml commenting do serious. I say some lives need to be reevaluated.
alexup24 13
38- Seriously I can't believe some of the PEOPLE on here.
ghostlilac 25
Funny guy, too bad he rejected you :(
Cad6 24
Cab drivers can be dicks.
EmaK13 2
He sounds like a nice guy who didn't want to take advantage of a girl who has been drinking, or didn't want to sleep with some girl he just met that night. I don't think he just blew you off, he just has more respect for woman than that.
Zman158158 6
Or he's just a little prick trying to be funny
Colonel_Lexi 18
So you just met this guy and the first thing you wanted to do was have relations with him? I bet you're one of those girls who bitches about not finding the "right man" and that "all men are dogs that only want sex".
Iknoweverything 29
Are you sure it was only a "few" drinks? Maybe you hit it off at first and your continuing down the path to wasted-ness turned him off... or maybe you were really drunk in the first place, and he just socialized with you because he thought your drunkenness was funny. Most (quality) guys seem to be completely turned off by women who are drunk off their asses. And the fact that he called a cab for you makes me wonder if it was only a "few" drinks.
shawnaishere 14
You just met him and you say that? Hmm that had desperate written all over you but on a side note the guy is creative and has a sense of humor. That adds to how attractive you already found him. Well too bad you're missing out.
SkoomaKi 28
33 - Just because OP wants to engage in sexy time without the need for a relationship doesn't make her desperate. It's like friends with benefits excepts its a stranger. It's her life and she can do what she wants with it. Good day.
saidawhiting 14
Except it's not actually like being friends with benefits at all, because it's a stranger. Having sex with people you don't know is dangerous for several reasons. At least if you're boning a friend you presumably know they're STD-free and not a serial killer. Good day.
SkoomaKi 28
Of course its dangerous, I didn't say it wasn't! I was just stating that OP is not desperate if she wants some quick sex. Men do it all the time, who's says women don't.
Cad6 24
I agree with SkoomaKi. You have to strike the metal when it's hot. Not wait until it's cooled off and then mess up.
saidawhiting 14
Yes, I agree that doesn't make her desperate, and I also agree that it's her life and she can make her own choices. The fact that it's okay for guys to sleep around isn't really a very good reason for why women can do it, though. It doesn't seem like the best idea for either gender.
MissHayleyJames 7
It doesn't matter if it's a guy or girl doing it. It's absolutely disgusting and immoral. Sure it's someone else's life but that doesn't mean we all have to be ok with something we find so despicable. You don't have to be in a committed relationship (although it's definitely ideal) but at least know the person for awhile for goodness sakes. Do you really want to tell your future spouse one day that you've ****** so many people you can't even count them? Or tell them a disgustingly high number? I hate this selfish society.
saksxalmo 20
It's "immoral"? Really? Even if no one gets hurt and both parties have fun? You might as well say eating for pleasure is "immoral"... You keep on using that word. I do not think it means what you think it means.
Unicornszxcvb 6
Actually, depending on your beliefs, yes eating for pleasure is indeed "immoral" to some people
MedKits 9
It's desperate for women to do so. It's also desperate for a man do to so. Many people on this FML have been using the supposed double standard as evidence for their counterargument. Stop doing it, because the double standard is false.
iviviii 0
Why?..