Today, I met a hot guy at the bar and we hit it off instantly. After a few drinks, he called a cab for us. When it arrived, I seducingly asked, "My place or yours?" He responds, "Both. I'll go to mine and you go to yours" and walked away. The cab driver laughed the whole way home. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I was at a club with a friend. A cute guy kept smiling and looking over at me. He left his seat and went to the bar and brought back two drinks. He waved me over and then said, "Can you tell your hot friend that I bought her a drink?" FML
Today, after a great double date with my best friend and two really hot guys, we went back to my place. My friend and I left the guys in the living room to go grab some more wine. When we came back, we found our dates making out with each other on the couch. FML
Today, my boyfriend called me as I was getting ready for bed and asked me to pick him up from the bar. Being a loving girlfriend I drive the 45 minutes; when I get there his friend informs me he left about 45 minutes ago. FML
Today, I went out drinking with my friends. Being safe as we were a little intoxicated, we took a taxi back. The cab driver was also drunk. FML
Today, I met a girl at a bar. After buying her a few drinks, we decided to head back to her place. Not wanting to leave either of our cars, I followed her home. While driving, she sent me text because she missed her exit. I tried to text her back something witty and instead rear ended her. FML
Today, I met a great guy at the bar, and we went back to my place. He left before I woke up, leaving a badly-scrawled note saying, "Gone to work, call me!" I couldn't make out the number. FML
Today, the guy I've been sleeping with for the last three weeks got really drunk. I drove him home from the party and took care of him. At 2am he asked for the phone. When I asked what for, he said he wanted to drunk dial his girlfriend. FML
Today, I had a fancy dinner date with a really hot guy. Near the end of our meal, he asked if I wanted to go back to his place. As soon as we walked in the door, he started a religious debate with his roommate. It's been 45 minutes and it's still going. FML
Today, I finally found the courage to ask a guy I like out for a drink. He accepted, we drank, and when it came time to go home, I half-drunkenly left him my number. Once I got back home, I realized I'd actually given him my dad's number instead. FML
Today, I was driving in a busy area looking for a place to park. I happened to lock eyes with a really handsome man who was walking alongside the road. He approached my car with a huge, gorgeous smile, and as I rolled my window down, he asked, "Are you my Uber?" FML
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Top comments
SkoomaKi 28
Unlucky OP, but quite creative on his part.
the_true_batman 10
Seducingly? I think you mean seductively. And you totally deserved it.
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Comments (251)
vivolleyball15 2
That kinda sucks but it was for the better. That was also a pretty creative way to say it.
vbmg152 19
That's one of the funniest things I've ever heard. YDI for assuming he was going to sleep with you. When he said, "I'll call us a cab" you just assumed! When you assume, You make an ass out of you & me or in this case, you & him!
alexup24 13
105- Wtf? This isn't a chat room.
Jasonf6 0
Hahahahaha..YDI
pagullarka 9
I would've gotten out of the cab, and said you go home I'm going back to the bar.
deusbag 5
Can't lie, I laughed at you OP
Haleyrose242 6
I know... Why would you let a stranger from the bar into your home to **** you. What if you end up pregnant with an STD? and he IS a stranger. If he goes to your place, how do you know he won't steal things from you? As well, if you go to his place...
wolfshadow 4
Sounds like you got Ted instead of Barney.
wolfshadow 4
Sounds like you got Ted instead of Barney.
RJ19 0
Never put yourself on a plate! Because it will bite u on the ass