Today, I'm working for a company that makes over a million dollars a year, yet leaves me with no choice but to pee in a cup because they won't pay to fix the only toilet in the building. FML
Collection
Wild Nights Out
Last call, bad decisions and 3 a.m. texts you'll regret until noon. Cheers.
Today, my work finally hired someone to replace some leaky pipes. I work in the basement by myself, and just as I walked under the newly-fixed pipes, I got soaked with what appeared to be water. Apparently it was connected to a toilet. My boss couldn't find a replacement, so they made me work covered in piss. FML
Today, my boss told me to find the bad smell coming from the apartment we were working on. I found the bathtub about 4 inches high full of piss, and spent the next hour bailing it out into a bucket because the drain wasn't connected yet. I have pee stains in all the wrong places. FML
Today, I had to pee in the kitchen sink because my bathroom is being completely revamped, and the only other toilet in the house is my parents'. They refuse to let anyone use it. FML
Today, as if having diarrhea at work wasn’t bad enough, my office’s aggressively flushing toilet sprayed me with my own liquid shit. FML
Today, at work I had to spend two hours cleaning up stinky toilet water. Why? Because yesterday, I forgot to turn on the septic tank pumps. The tank overflowed, and so did all the toilets. My boss is not happy. FML
Today, I found out that a water pipe at my work had burst over the weekend. There is absolutely no water in the building, including the bathrooms. It's a 9-hour day, and I took a laxative this morning before I came in. FML
Today, my bosses were boasting about their work-funded retreat, including the $1,800 bottle of wine the company paid for. This would be fine if they hadn't just told me there are no funds to pay me for the work they've got me doing. We are also the biggest company in our industry. FML
Today, my work decided to fire me. Three days ago, I sat down with my boss and asked if they could fix the sewage leak in my office, and maybe look into how loud it is. FML
Today, I took a massive dump in a trashcan in the back of my company's catering truck. We have a professional tailgate spread for clients to enjoy at the local games. My boss got drunk and left me to work it alone for 8 hours. The closest bathroom is 1/2 mile away. I hate my job. FML
Today, I was feeling terrible so I called in sick to work. My boss refused to believe me and told me he'd fire me if I didn't come in. I dragged myself to work, only to spend most of the day glued to the toilet. Now he says I won't be paid for the day because I barely did any work. FML
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Top comments
fviker95 13
A million dollars a year even in profits isn't that much for a company you need to consider that they have to pay rent, employees, taxes, utilities, merchandise, advertising, and they have to support their family as well so after all that is factored out maybe they can't afford to fix it
adkim78 17
I dunno, if they're stingy enough they won't mind in you pee on their plants then
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Comments (87)
makkarari 18
Hopefully there is more than one cup per two girls
AutisticAbyss 10
I give you a plus 1 because I understand the humor of your comment.
rylaii 26
You should really talk to OSHA. They can come by and do an inspection and make your company fix that. They won't use your name either
coraline123c 23
I hope you're a guy or it'd be even more awkward
ndnpride88 25
You could always call in anonymous to the labor board or health inspector
sylverdrag_fml 9
Take a break every time you need to and go outside to a coffee shop. If anyone questions the practice, you can simply say "I am going to the toilets".
gintwinsmoore 20
a million dollars for a company isn't a lot of money...you'd be surprised how many companies make billions and can't manage that properly!!! As is the case with your company if they can't fix a toilet!!!
grtfuldeadlovr 27
Call Osha
purplepenquin 9
Sounds kind of abusive. You and your co-workers need a union so you can stand up to the owners.
be82tw 17
Do you mean millions in revenues, gross, or net (HUGE difference, there)? If they won't spend on necessities like building maintenance and repairing a freaking toilet, that is a bad sign: I personally can only think that either their actual profit margins are so negative that no one wants to be the one to add any red ink until AFTER things improve or the business is run by someone myopic enough not to realize that the lack of a functioning toilet is ultimately going to cost them more (employee moral, lost time as people leave to use other facilities, turnover, people on FML calling for unions and OSHA, et al) in the long run. Sorry OP. FYL.
Noodle422 10
Doo doo, de doo doo