Today, I'm staying at my grandparents' house. I went upstairs to grab my sketchbook to show off to my grandma. My grandpa is half-deaf, which I guess explains how he didn't hear me. I heard him though, jerking off and muttering the most disgusting sexual things about "Tara." I'm Tara. FML
Collection
Thanksgiving
Questions about your love life, a burnt turkey and the cousin who knows everything: Thanksgiving, a contact sport.
Today, I'm staying with my grandmother and overheard her having phone sex. FML
Today, I decided to surprise-visit my grandparents. After knocking on the door and not getting a response, I opened it and walked in. Upon entering their house and yelling, "Hello", as I turned the corner I saw my near-deaf grandmother folding clothes while watching TV. She was topless. FML
Today, my grandpa forgot that my aunt set up a baby monitor in his bedroom in case of a fall. I’m sitting in the living room with his wife - who is deaf - and I hear him moaning over the baby monitor. My grandfather was jerking off and forgot that someone could hear him. I wish I could forget too. FML
Today, my grandma drove me home from school early because I was sick. I went upstairs and heard my parents having sex. Embarrassed, I ran downstairs and was about to leave the house when I saw a car pull into the driveway. It was my dad. FML
Today, I was alone at my dad's house. I was furiously masturbating when I knocked something over. It was my grandmother's ashes. FML
Today, I was at the dentist's, getting my teeth cleaned. He thought it would be funny to suddenly go on in detail about the fantastic sex he and his wife had the night before. I was unable to speak the entire time. The dentist is my grandpa. FML
Today, I visited my Grandma's house, and my uncle happened to be there. As expected, and all the time, he greeted with his signature shit-eating, "I see what you did there" face. He's been doing that to me ever since he saw me masturbating when I was a little kid. I'm 47, married, and have 2 kids now. FML
Today, while having sex with my boyfriend, I was apparently really loud, because when we finished I heard his mom and grandma sarcastically imitating me outside. FML
Today, I visited my sick grandpa for a few hours in the hospital. His roommate, also an elderly man, wouldn't stop masturbating. FML
Today, I decided to spend a few days at my grandma's house, to help her clean the place up a bit. So far, she's given me a "no masturbating under my roof" talk, used multiple racist slurs, and yelled "QUIET DOWN!" when I so much as sneezed in the next room. FML
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Top comments
cOOkiEzRgOOd 22
Some things just cannot be unheard OP. Maybe it's time to distance yourself.
Redoxx_fml 22
Bet you wish you were deaf
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Comments (110)
Dexter83_fml 17
I'm sorry op I am disgusted by this.
Knoro 6
Omg gross
Erksangel 25
Talk about bad grandpa...holy shit!!!
justfml22 13
I strongly suggest that you report that either to your grandma or your parents.
gregnc_fml 18
Run like he** if he comes in your room wanting to tuck you in or cuddle!
Jryan952015 7
Sounds like something nasty is going to happen to you tonight
trtnt25 19
This is the most disturbing and ****** up FML I've read in years
team_hale 11
Is his name Jared?
justsayingbeach 15
Isn't this a bit too "criminal"? I mean what you're saying is quite disturbing and sounds more privy to a police interview room not FML? ...
interesting33 37
I don't think it is a crime if he doesn't actually do anything. If he is just fantasizing by himself I'm pretty sure it is not illegal.
Witchylady 18
Ew!!! Every time he looks at you, you will know he has sexual desires for you. Yuck.