Today, I'm staying at my grandparents' house. I went upstairs to grab my sketchbook to show off to my grandma. My grandpa is half-deaf, which I guess explains how he didn't hear me. I heard him though, jerking off and muttering the most disgusting sexual things about "Tara." I'm Tara. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I'm staying with my grandmother and overheard her having phone sex. FML
Today, I decided to surprise-visit my grandparents. After knocking on the door and not getting a response, I opened it and walked in. Upon entering their house and yelling, "Hello", as I turned the corner I saw my near-deaf grandmother folding clothes while watching TV. She was topless. FML
Today, my grandpa forgot that my aunt set up a baby monitor in his bedroom in case of a fall. I’m sitting in the living room with his wife - who is deaf - and I hear him moaning over the baby monitor. My grandfather was jerking off and forgot that someone could hear him. I wish I could forget too. FML
Today, my grandma drove me home from school early because I was sick. I went upstairs and heard my parents having sex. Embarrassed, I ran downstairs and was about to leave the house when I saw a car pull into the driveway. It was my dad. FML
Today, I was alone at my dad's house. I was furiously masturbating when I knocked something over. It was my grandmother's ashes. FML
Today, I was at the dentist's, getting my teeth cleaned. He thought it would be funny to suddenly go on in detail about the fantastic sex he and his wife had the night before. I was unable to speak the entire time. The dentist is my grandpa. FML
Today, I visited my Grandma's house, and my uncle happened to be there. As expected, and all the time, he greeted with his signature shit-eating, "I see what you did there" face. He's been doing that to me ever since he saw me masturbating when I was a little kid. I'm 47, married, and have 2 kids now. FML
Today, while having sex with my boyfriend, I was apparently really loud, because when we finished I heard his mom and grandma sarcastically imitating me outside. FML
Today, I visited my sick grandpa for a few hours in the hospital. His roommate, also an elderly man, wouldn't stop masturbating. FML
Today, I decided to spend a few days at my grandma's house, to help her clean the place up a bit. So far, she's given me a "no masturbating under my roof" talk, used multiple racist slurs, and yelled "QUIET DOWN!" when I so much as sneezed in the next room. FML
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Top comments
cOOkiEzRgOOd 22
Some things just cannot be unheard OP. Maybe it's time to distance yourself.
Redoxx_fml 22
Bet you wish you were deaf
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Comments (110)
vikky538 29
We will send you a big bottle of holy water yo bleach your eyes and ears OP..
fullerkate3 17
Oh god! I would be out of there so fast!!!
livelaughlovepie 22
I'm hoping you heard wrong, but if not, please distance yourself!
cbroady0529 9
Well that's freaking terrifying. I hope there's another Tara!!!!
Utetopia2014 18
I've only ever met 3 Tara's, and all have been pretty hot.... so you got that going for you, which is nice..
ILikeKoalas 24
That's absolutely vile, OP. You're own grandfather? If I were you I'd start acting like a pig around him, belching, biting your toe nails, etc.
greenbucket 6
This fml has left me scarred
fmlstarterkit 13
sounds like you showed off enough for him already
Dominus101 20
That's Soo Messed up, Always one weirdo in the fam I guess, sorry you had to experience that OP
elek2008 9
Take it as a compliment, a nasty, terrible, perverted, pedophile compliment. then run far far away.