Today, I let my daughter bake a cake for her brother's fifth birthday party. She showed up later with a cake in the shape of a cock and balls. Apparently it's okay, though, because "I frosted it to look like a rocket, hehehe!" I can't believe my balls spawned this moron. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, it was my boyfriend's 24th birthday. His friends were throwing him a surprise party and I was in charge of getting his birthday cake. As a joke, I got it in the shape of a penis, with a graphic marzipan design. Funny, I never knew his overly-conservative parents were invited. FML
Today, it was my friend's birthday, so I baked him a cake complete with his name written on it in homemade frosting. After I gave it to him, his mother berated me for it, saying I should have checked with her first before making a cake for her son. He's 28. FML
Today, I tried to bake a cake for my friend's birthday. It turned out looking more like a science experiment gone wrong than a cake. FML
Today, it was my son's fifth birthday. I asked my grandmother, who is a baker, to make a birthday cake for the party. Two hours after the party started, she arrived drunk with a large ham with candles in it. FML
Today, my girlfriend surprised me with what was allegedly a birthday "cake". It was so horribly deformed, I wasn't sure whether to eat it or wear it as a hat. I had to pretend it didn't taste like play-doh, and ended up throwing it up in the toilet. Happy birthday to me. FML
Today, it's my birthday and I was very happy. When the moment came to blow the candles, all of the decoration on the cake flew off. It had taken an hour to make and set them on the cake. FML
Today, my sisters and I were throwing my mom a birthday party. Since I'm not good at baking, I ordered her a really nice and expensive cake. As my daughter and I were headed out the door, she told me she had added some sprinkles to make it pretty. It was the silica beads from a package. FML
Today, my husband thought it would be "funny" to put laxatives in the cakes for my son's 7th birthday party. Over 40 kids came to the party. FML
Today, I got up at 5 am to bake a surprise birthday cake for my 16-year-old son. I put the cake on the table and went to call my son. "Surprise!" When I came back 30 seconds later, the cake was all gone and the dog was licking his lips. My son won't even believe I made a cake. FML
Today, I found out my boyfriend's mother has invented a new kind of cake and named it after me: not because it's delicious, but because of the amount of fat in it. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
lakerfan8224 17
That's going in your son's suppressed memory
Skittles_Rawr 8
You raised her... Don't blame your balls.
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (182)
currilc 0
Was it supposed to be headed to Uranus?
ChicaChica5683 0
Well you called her a moron and said that "your balls spawned her" so maybe it's your fault. Be a better parent and don't put your kids down. Thats just ****** up
DevilsMetsGiants 30
People like you shouldn't be allowed to reproduce -_-
Taurus_ChicKa 37
How old is your daughter for one? Either way, this is messed up. If she's too young to bake a cake, why did she not have supervision when shaping it? And how does she know what a **** and balls look like? If she's old enough to cook on her own, then maybe the reason she's a "moron" is because you did a lousy job of raising her. Parents don't know how to be parents these days. They let their kids get away with anything and don't discipline them. And then there are the ones like you who blame the kid for their own stupidity because they weren't taught anything. Now, to you it may look like a **** and balls, but since she's baking the cake for her five-year-old brother, it's possible she described the cake as being a rocket because that's what she intended it to look like to be appropriate for her brother. Little kids probably wouldn't notice the difference. Especially if you're raising your son anything like you've raised (or haven't raised) your daughter.
costalzzz 6
I really dont see wahat he big deal is here. Its a pretty funny joke at the time, she disguised it as somthing the 5 year old COULD recognise (rocket) and if its such a big deal to him then the op should either bake a new one or run out and buy one. As for his comment "I cant believe my balls spawned this moron", speking like that are you supprised that your kid developed this sense of humuor?
whitecloud197 0
It wasnt your balls it was the sad parenting skills.
ebfbruh 0
I think I'm in love with this woman...
bs93640 2
Give that girl a scolding. That is just plain awful. How old is she?
Christopherson 0
Does anybody else think it is completely inappropriate to call your child a moron?
PhishloverA 14
Hahahahaha