Today, I let my daughter bake a cake for her brother's fifth birthday party. She showed up later with a cake in the shape of a cock and balls. Apparently it's okay, though, because "I frosted it to look like a rocket, hehehe!" I can't believe my balls spawned this moron. FML
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Wild Nights Out
Last call, bad decisions and 3 a.m. texts you'll regret until noon. Cheers.
Today, it was my boyfriend's 24th birthday. His friends were throwing him a surprise party and I was in charge of getting his birthday cake. As a joke, I got it in the shape of a penis, with a graphic marzipan design. Funny, I never knew his overly-conservative parents were invited. FML
Today, it was my friend's birthday, so I baked him a cake complete with his name written on it in homemade frosting. After I gave it to him, his mother berated me for it, saying I should have checked with her first before making a cake for her son. He's 28. FML
Today, I tried to bake a cake for my friend's birthday. It turned out looking more like a science experiment gone wrong than a cake. FML
Today, it was my son's fifth birthday. I asked my grandmother, who is a baker, to make a birthday cake for the party. Two hours after the party started, she arrived drunk with a large ham with candles in it. FML
Today, my girlfriend surprised me with what was allegedly a birthday "cake". It was so horribly deformed, I wasn't sure whether to eat it or wear it as a hat. I had to pretend it didn't taste like play-doh, and ended up throwing it up in the toilet. Happy birthday to me. FML
Today, it's my birthday and I was very happy. When the moment came to blow the candles, all of the decoration on the cake flew off. It had taken an hour to make and set them on the cake. FML
Today, my sisters and I were throwing my mom a birthday party. Since I'm not good at baking, I ordered her a really nice and expensive cake. As my daughter and I were headed out the door, she told me she had added some sprinkles to make it pretty. It was the silica beads from a package. FML
Today, my husband thought it would be "funny" to put laxatives in the cakes for my son's 7th birthday party. Over 40 kids came to the party. FML
Today, I got up at 5 am to bake a surprise birthday cake for my 16-year-old son. I put the cake on the table and went to call my son. "Surprise!" When I came back 30 seconds later, the cake was all gone and the dog was licking his lips. My son won't even believe I made a cake. FML
Today, I found out my boyfriend's mother has invented a new kind of cake and named it after me: not because it's delicious, but because of the amount of fat in it. FML
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Top comments
lakerfan8224 17
That's going in your son's suppressed memory
Skittles_Rawr 8
You raised her... Don't blame your balls.
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Comments (182)
ohcrapitscurtis 8
There's no such thing as a bad child; just a bad parent.
phatdaddy62 23
You've never raised kids, have you?
julien672 0
79 - I've never raised kids and even I know that his sentence is bull.
nevershoutkendal_fml 11
79 and 112 - No kid comes out of the womb lying, cheating, and stealing. I disagree. It's all in how you were raised and whether or not your parents paid enough attention to you.
kiraleann 16
It disgusts me when parents come on here and describe their kids like this. You're their parent, you're mostly responsible for how they turn out. Even if they aren't the sharpest tool in the shed, it's really shitty parenting to talk about your kids like that, and I'm sure if you'll go on the internet and call your daughter a moron, you probably say similar things to her personally as well.
fordman22 0
Easy thurrr killa.
volleyballstarrr 1
lmfaoo!! my friend made a penis cake before. classssic
Jp17048 1
How old is she?
THE_A_TEEN 28
Ooo, you're so mature calling your own daughter like that on the internet. For gods sake, SHE'S YOUR DAUGHTER! Yeah she did a questionable thing, but outright calling her a moron? You're the parent, you are supposed to be the mature one here, but instead you go on a website and call your own daughter a moron. I have no sympathy for you, prick.
sapperdad 0
doesn't matter had cake.
BrysGirl27 14
Hahahaha funny:)
Tommay186 7
I guess you think your balls are in call of duty "spawned" haha
unknown_user5566 27
What's wrong with penis shaped cake, anyway? My girlfriends baked me a chocolate one for my bachelorette party. Delicious. ;)
perdix 31
I'll bet you haven't eaten vanilla cake since ;)
unknown_user5566 27
Obviously! ;)
perdix 31
Well, maybe we can bring you back with some special frosting :P
unknown_user5566 27
Nope, once you go black, you never go back! I'm referring to the frosting color, of course.
angelinaanimerg 7
Oh shut up. Maybe it isnt your proudest moment! but have a sense of humor and stop being a jerk. its not like she put hair and veins on it.
Lucious306 7
A bunny?