Today, I let my daughter bake a cake for her brother's fifth birthday party. She showed up later with a cake in the shape of a cock and balls. Apparently it's okay, though, because "I frosted it to look like a rocket, hehehe!" I can't believe my balls spawned this moron. FML
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Today, it was my boyfriend's 24th birthday. His friends were throwing him a surprise party and I was in charge of getting his birthday cake. As a joke, I got it in the shape of a penis, with a graphic marzipan design. Funny, I never knew his overly-conservative parents were invited. FML
Today, it was my friend's birthday, so I baked him a cake complete with his name written on it in homemade frosting. After I gave it to him, his mother berated me for it, saying I should have checked with her first before making a cake for her son. He's 28. FML
Today, I tried to bake a cake for my friend's birthday. It turned out looking more like a science experiment gone wrong than a cake. FML
Today, it was my son's fifth birthday. I asked my grandmother, who is a baker, to make a birthday cake for the party. Two hours after the party started, she arrived drunk with a large ham with candles in it. FML
Today, my girlfriend surprised me with what was allegedly a birthday "cake". It was so horribly deformed, I wasn't sure whether to eat it or wear it as a hat. I had to pretend it didn't taste like play-doh, and ended up throwing it up in the toilet. Happy birthday to me. FML
Today, it's my birthday and I was very happy. When the moment came to blow the candles, all of the decoration on the cake flew off. It had taken an hour to make and set them on the cake. FML
Today, my sisters and I were throwing my mom a birthday party. Since I'm not good at baking, I ordered her a really nice and expensive cake. As my daughter and I were headed out the door, she told me she had added some sprinkles to make it pretty. It was the silica beads from a package. FML
Today, my husband thought it would be "funny" to put laxatives in the cakes for my son's 7th birthday party. Over 40 kids came to the party. FML
Today, I got up at 5 am to bake a surprise birthday cake for my 16-year-old son. I put the cake on the table and went to call my son. "Surprise!" When I came back 30 seconds later, the cake was all gone and the dog was licking his lips. My son won't even believe I made a cake. FML
Today, I found out my boyfriend's mother has invented a new kind of cake and named it after me: not because it's delicious, but because of the amount of fat in it. FML
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Top comments
lakerfan8224 17
That's going in your son's suppressed memory
Skittles_Rawr 8
You raised her... Don't blame your balls.
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Comments (182)
fordman22 0
Maybe she was just trying to signify that she needed a penis to satisfy her
dyslexic_jd 10
Blame the dad. Mine does
ChickenTenders 6
Is her name Rainbow Randolph?
nevershoutkendal_fml 11
That's mean to call her a moron. Well, it sort of isn't if she's old enough to know better. Cut her some slack. And cut off the distinguishing parts of the cake.
merryhappy1887 20
Your fault for half ass parenting.
the_true_batman 10
To everyone who says he shouldn't call her a moron because she's the way he raised her: Maybe his parents raised him to raise her that way and call her a moron, so you can't blame him for being the way he was raised.
makenzie1322 0
Oh my goodness, he will remember that cake for ever! And it wont be a lovely memory!
lastrael 3
Seriously? If you call your daughter that enough, she's eventually going to believe that she is one. If you wanted the cake a certain way, you should offered to help out.
the_true_batman 10
"If you wanted the cake a certain way, you should offered to help out." OP wasn't picky about the cake, it's not like it had a race car and he wanted dinosaurs. I'm sure OP would be happy so long as the cake was appropriate and edible. And it sounds like the daughter wanted to make the cake herself. I don't think wanting the cake to be appropriate is so picky that you should have done it yourself. "Hey mom, can I make a cake for Tommy's birthday?" "Okay, thanks for helping." "Here is Tommy's swastika cake." "You're a moron, that's not appropriate for a 5 year old's birthday, Daniel Gold's parents will throw a fit when they see it!" "You shouldn't call your daughter a moron, and if you wanted the cake a certain way you should have offered to help."
bigmikkyjay 0
you're my ******* hero, OP
windygoo 1
You deserve it for calling your daughter a moron. You raised her. Learn to parent.