Today, I learnt there's a woman who comes into my store only to hear my Barry White-like voice. My boss knows who it is, yet refuses to tell me because it's "hilarious." I'm now cautious of every customer. FML
Collection
Wild Nights Out
Last call, bad decisions and 3 a.m. texts you'll regret until noon. Cheers.
Today, I was informed that one of my store managers does a "great" impression of me. No one will tell me what it is, but apparently it's really funny. FML
Today, at work as a cashier, I had a male customer come up to me and ask me what hours I worked today, like he has done for several weeks now. Immediately after, my manager calls my lane to tell me to watch out for that guy. He has been stalking a co-worker of mine. Apparently, I'm next. FML
Today, I gave my boss a nickname. Everyone thought it was funny. Unfortunately, "The Troll" was behind me and heard everything. FML
Today, a woman from my office called, asking who was in. Only one other woman was in the office. I couldn't remember her name, so I had to awkwardly guess random names while both women listened, obviously aware of what was going on. FML
Today, a customer came into the music shop I work in to look at guitars. After calling the customer "Dude," and "Man," numerous times, they stalked off suddenly. When I asked if everything was okay, they responded with, "I'm female, you asshole!" FML
Today, I found out that a guy who works overnights had secretly been videotaping me singing and dancing to my favorite songs while I worked my own graveyard shift. My new nickname at work is 'Prancy'. FML
Today, I was trying sell a customer a top-of-the-line surround sound system. Apparently he was aware that I work on commission, as he threatened to buy the system elsewhere unless I sang Rebecca Black's "Friday" in front of the whole store. Goodbye, self-respect. FML
Today, the girl who works at the liquor store came to where I work. She recognized me. FML
Today, my boss bitched me out for a customer complaint. The complaint was me not laughing at the customer's joke of me asking for his ID and him saying no. I'm sorry, I've been getting this "joke" a least twice a day since I started working here two years ago. FML
Today, I found out that my CEO knows my name when she followed me into the bathroom and called it out in a disgusted tone when I farted so loudly, she could hear it from four stalls over. FML
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Top comments
Potterhead1 3
Alan Rickman's voice is cooler
Marcella1016 32
Take it as a compliment...that's a pretty sexy voice :)
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Comments (50)
skyeyez9 25
If you are a woman this would be even more hilarious.
florido_fml 10
Wow your life really sucks! How are you still able to live?
Pelreskovich 11
Sounds like an obsession!
flwurheart 0
As soon as OP said he sounded like Barry White, I then read the rest of the post in a Barry White voice!
reeses1981 10
So what?! So someone likes your voice...most people would just be flattered, I fail to see how this is an FML
perdix 31
I hope she's nice enough to leave you some creamed underpants from time to time. Women looooove Barry White's voice -- he didn't sell all those records with his body;)
YoMyselfandMoi 8
Cautious? Why?
_Princess_Peach_ 9
At least your balls have dropped and you dont sound like the 12 year old boys in game lobbies!
jbrister111 14
That sir, should be learned, not learnt
derptitude 4
learnt? good job...