Today, I learned to never blast classic rock with your convertible's top down while passing an SUV full of gangbanger wanna-bes. That is, of course, unless you want your immaculate, newly detailed leather seats to be decorated with pretty brown and white milkshake stains. FML
Collection
Wild Nights Out
Last call, bad decisions and 3 a.m. texts you'll regret until noon. Cheers.
Today, I made fun of a girl singing passionately along to a song on her radio while in traffic next to me. She decided that her chocolate milkshake would make a good addition to my brand new seat covers. FML
Today, I gave my new boss a ride, since his car died. I probably should have checked the music before I started the car; I'm not sure hearing "Grandpa pissed his pants again…" as the opener to a song made a good impression on him. FML
Today, I was stoked to show my new car to my friends that I pulled into the parking lot a bit too fast, attempting to look cool. I accidentally hit the curb and ended up scratching the entire front bumper on a trash can that I didn't see. Now I have a busted up bumper, and my friends will probably never let me forget it. FML
Today, I purchased a new car. On the drive home, gusts of wind blew up debris and pebbles and caused little chips in the paint and small chips on the windshield. FML
Today, I was in my car and stopped at a red light. A homeless woman then started to throw rocks at my car for no apparent reason. I drive a convertible. FML
Today, I got caught singing '80s hair metal love ballads to myself in the car by the object of my affection. FML
Today, I learned that if you're going to light a bottle rocket and throw it out the window of a car, you should roll the window down before you light the bottle rocket. FML
Today, while I was reluctantly driving to work on a Sunday, some guy in a shiny Audi threw a plastic root beer bottle full of urine at my old Toyota. He didn’t even bother to put on the cap on, like a gentleman would. FML
Today, I drove my two kids to their friends' houses. In my convertible, looking what I though was my best, I slowed down outside a bar with cute 20 year old girls in front. My daughter noticed the speed reduction and said, "Keep driving dad, you're fat and mom left you for a reason." FML
Today, I was hanging in the street with the boys, listening to some jams on my car's new speaker system. Some asshole from the apartments above me threw a bag of trash at my car. Direct hit. FML
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Top comments
Aelaena 6
Wow assholes. I hate people like that, I hope you got a license yet that probably wouldn't do much.
zmiddz 0
Gangbangers drink milkshakes?
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Comments (243)
GrapefruitZoe 0
No, why do people think it's acceptable and correct to harm other people or their property? That's incorrect!
xOblivion 0
Where do people learn respect ? It's like they DON'T learn it !
Faced159 0
You should have beaten their asses.
fmylifedotcomm 0
yo yo yo YDI 4 blastin dat shizz ^that was me trying to be ghetto. lol FAIL. but really, that sucks. though i do find it funny that they threw milkshakes at you...
ritalinboy 1
see what you should have done was the second u noticed they were white gangsters you should have FLOORED YOUR ASS away from their slow as hell SUV
hitherestranger 0
you sound kinda smug, so i want to say you deserve it, but that was pretty ridiculous what they did. maybe you should stop caring so much about a car?
potatopeeler 0
Never blast any music, you inconsiderate asshole.
Casualt1234 0
dude classic rock is awesome, Led Zep... oh yeah. Those guys are douchebags. Rap and hiphop suck.
wallythedolly 0
I hate people like that. Hope you reported them.
logicplease 0
FYL indeed. Why am I tempted to scream "I. DRINK. YOUR. MILKSHAKE!"?