Today, I learned the valuable lesson that taking care of a baby crow isn't the best idea. He finally can fly away, but sits on my porch all day cawing for food. FML
Collection
Wild Nights Out
Last call, bad decisions and 3 a.m. texts you'll regret until noon. Cheers.
Today, a crow somehow got stuck in my ceiling. It's been making tons of noise for 9 hours now, including crowing very loudly. I live in a one-bedroom apartment, I have no access to the attic and the property owner doesn't give a shit. FML
Today, I witnessed the beautiful sight of a tiny baby bird struggling to take flight from its nest. "You can do it," I muttered, which I guess my asswipe of a cat heard as "Quick, go kill that bird and scar me for life, please." FML
Today, the bird that has been stuck in my roof for two days, keeping me awake at night, finally flew out of the roof and into the house. As I was opening the door to send it outside, it flew straight back up into the roof. FML
Today, I was caring for a bird that had flown into my window. I thought the poor thing wouldn't make it, when it shit in my hand, flew into my neck, then around my living room for ages before I could manage to get it out of the window. FML
Today, since I've been paying attention to my newborn, my pet cockatoo has learned to cry like the baby in the middle of the night. I haven't gotten more than four hours of sleep. FML
Today, I saved a bird from being run over as it lay in the middle of the road. Thinking it had a broken wing or something, I started carrying it home, intending to take it to the vet later. It crapped in my hand and flew away. FML
Today, I saved a baby bird from the site I work on. It was the runt and did not have any feathers and was neglected by the mother. I took care of it all day at work and planned on taking it to a wildlife reserve after work. Two minutes away from the reserve, we hit a pothole and I dropped it. It died. FML
Today, I spent hours making an elaborate bird feeder for my backyard. It was finally ready, and I proudly hung it up, imagining the birds chirping happily. Instead, a squirrel discovered it within minutes, devoured all the birdseed, and then gave me a smug look before knocking the feeder to the ground. FML
Today, I was showing off my new pet bird to my friends over video chat. I opened the cage to demonstrate how friendly he was. Instead of perching on my finger like usual, he flew out the window. I spent the next hour chasing him around the neighborhood in my pajamas. FML
Today, I saw two crows in a park using their beaks to kiss each other. A fucking crow gets more action than I do. FML
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Top comments
JMichael 26
It's like when you feed a stray cat one time and it keeps coming back for more. Eventually it's gonna end up being yours.
websphere69 27
never more
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Comments (147)
HowsBoutaRoadie 8
I kill crows at my dad's house.
Llama_Face89 34
Face it. You've got a pet crow.
DylanHasClass 17
It's nice of you to do that. Just leave a bowl of seeds outside
SwtCherryPie 26
That's awesome actually. I'd love to have a sorta pet crow.
organolithium_fml 9
Nice gesture of you. Now you have the possibility to keep him as a pet. Like many said, crows are very intelligent, and having one as a pet sounds cool.
91hayek 31
plus they collect shiny things so you might have a free carat locator as a pet.
tylermt1999 17
Take it In. Maybe he will be beneficial for your yard
Sigilwen 24
Crows can learn to talk and they are very smart. Is there any other crows near by? Maybe it will decide to join the flock.
TheyCallMeDamien 18
A flock of crows is called murder.
JD1147 27
Am I the only one who read the FML as "cow" instead of "crow"? I was a little confused why it might be flying.
lulinator 40
I totally did. Then when it got to "it can finally fly" I was flabbergasted. I thought only pigs flew.
slyde32 12
I did the same, don't feel too bad
skittle_QUEEN_YO 15
Naw man didnt you here about the cow that jumped over the moon? Jumping does lead to flying so dont be discouraged
ZombieSazza 34
The crow thinks your his mom now, maybe you should just feed him and let him have a wee area to sleep, but let him roam the neighbourhood. Just like having an outdoor cat, somewhere to sleep, eat and play. You're a kind person to look after the crow as a baby, he obviously loves you and you are now his human. :)
Cujo3269 9
Dude, this is actually awesome. You have your own crow