Baby Bird
Today, since I've been paying attention to my newborn, my pet cockatoo has learned to cry like the baby in the middle of the night. I haven't gotten more than four hours of sleep. FML
Today, since I've been paying attention to my newborn, my pet cockatoo has learned to cry like the baby in the middle of the night. I haven't gotten more than four hours of sleep. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, my parrot learned how to imitate my baby's crying. Now, every time the baby cries, the parrot joins in, and it sounds like a chorus of screaming. FML
Today, my newborn daughter has kept me up all day and all night for the past few days. Usually my husband sleeps. I finally cracked and yelled for his help, only for him to scream at me that he needs sleep and gives her to me anyway. FML
Today, my baby kept me up all night, and I only got 3 hours sleep. Normal, right? He's not even born yet and I'm only 5 months along. FML
Today, I learned the valuable lesson that taking care of a baby crow isn't the best idea. He finally can fly away, but sits on my porch all day cawing for food. FML
Today, my bird learned to mimic my fire alarm. It proved it to me at 3 am. FML
Today, I figured I've been watching too many horror films, due to my parrot mimicking a women's blood-curdling screams that he heard in a movie. How do I know? He decided to reproduce the screams at 3 a.m. FML
Today, like every day since the new neighbors moved into the townhouse next door, their newborn won’t stop crying. The room the two toddlers and newborn are in apparently shares a wall with my bedroom, so I hear crying while I work remote, study remote, and try to sleep. FML
Today, I'm so tired from constantly soothing my crying 2 month-old baby that I've started trying to soothe inanimate objects with baby talk whenever they make a noise. My fridge started beeping and I began an involuntary chorus of, "It's OK darling, shhhhhh, it's alright." FML
Today, my dog won't stop barking at his own shadow, my cat won't stop purring while kneading on me, and my new kitten won't stop squeaking. It's all very cute, but I can't sleep at all. FML
Today, after months of teaching my parrot to speak, he finally demonstrated his abilities. I accidentally set off my smoke detector, and he's been wailing like a dying banshee ever since. FML
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Top comments
christophbak 14
1. Learn the cockatoo a nursey rhyme 2. You and the baby fall asleep easily 3. ??? 4. Profit!
Ramb0 20
This is why you get dogs.
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Comments (32)
Ipeh 20
That sucks. Sorry.
Avi8r 22
This comment sucks, sorry.
christophbak 14
1. Learn the cockatoo a nursey rhyme 2. You and the baby fall asleep easily 3. ??? 4. Profit!
SweetestHeart93 18
that sounds like an excellent idea :D
Aerobic_Exorcism 13
No offense, but I sincerely don't understand how you're not bothered by using "learn" in place of "teach". I wasn't aware people actually made that English mistake until now.
DoomedGemini 38
Isn't that how some people say it, though? I'm American and I've always used teach but I feel like I've seen some people use learn that way that aren't American.
justaweirdgirl 14
maybe their mother language isn't english, mine isn't
Lalala579121 28
It is okay to use the word learn in that manner, yes. While much more obscure and frankly much more of an eyesore than the word teach in that usage, it isn't incorrect.
manuwish 9
no people don't germanspeakers do
no_playa_hater 14
Why would German speakers do that? We have separate words for "teach" and "learn" in German.
Lalala579121 28
"Learn in the sense of “teach” dates from the 13th century and was standard until at least the early 19th . But by Mark Twain's time it was receding to a speech form associated chiefly with the less educated . The present-day status of learn has not risen. This use persists in speech, but in writing it appears mainly in the representation of such speech or its deliberate imitation for effect."
OkitaCockroach 19
They also spelt nursery wrong, but I just assumed that English isn't their first language.
GOtllt 17
Teach your bird lullabies for your baby, that way the bird can put your baby to sleep in the middle of the night :D. Problem solved?
Ramb0 20
This is why you get dogs.
Welshite 40
So they can wake you up at 2:30 in the morning to go pee? I can't count the number of times I've had to stagger out half asleep so my dog can refuse to empty her bladder so she can sniff all the exciting smells. Or the fact that I learned the hard way and had to ban toys from her crate at night because she loves her squeaky stuffed animals. Or the random dreams where she kicks, growls, or whimpers. Every night. I'm a light sleeper. I'm tired.
theoldman 22
No, cats are so much more self sufficient!
Migole 36
Because dogs never make any trouble or get jealous? Every pet has its ups and downs and 90% of the problems people complain about, are self-made because they don't learn how to properly care for said pet or how to read their body language (e.g. getting a young kitten without company in a small apartment and then complaining bc it's bored and tearing the walls down *facepalm*)
gm1beanzz 14
If anything, this would be a reason to not get a cockatoo. Not necessarily a reason to get a dog.
itsme82 18
Try having six of them and they all want your attention. Usually at the same time lmao. I wouldn't change a thing tho to be honest.
_lifemyfuck_ 11
Yes it's much better to sleep to the soothing sound of barking.
kickyourtitsin 12
Should have gotten a big dog... I don't think we've ever had any problems with the ones we've had over the last 6 years.
bad_boyfriend 10
People who take their dog out in the middle of the night are suckers. It's a dog, not a baby. Unless it has health problems it can go 8 hrs without taking a piss.
SexyCheeksIzKool 15
You spelled "cats" wrong.
alaen 17
Two screeching animals. What a dream.
KayleeFrye 39
I agree!
Lalala579121 28
OP wishes they could dream.
Kibagal 13
It gets easier! My twins went from an every 3 hour schedule to every 5 very quickly, 6 hour stretches started at 2 months. I would get rid of the bird if it persists though.
xxcutekatxx2 13
Pets are for life, you don't just get rid of one because it becomes inconvenient in your life. Yes it's a nuisance for learning the cry but that's what birds do and I'm sure OP knew this too. It sucks but you don't just get rid of a pet!
johhnn 8
I disagree, you can pass a pet on to a loving owner.
DoomedGemini 38
There are reasons Id understand giving up an animal, mostly if the animal would be better in another home or you really don't have a choice. Changing owners can be very stressful to animals. The bird isn't trying to be a nuisance, i doubt it understands. It just wants attention from its owner because it seems like this is their first child so before it probably got a lot more attention. Many kids also react badly to getting another sibling because that means less attention, you don't consider getting rid of them.
Lily_Rain77 25
You are absolutely right. Priorities. As much as I love my pets my sanity and my children come first.
itsme82 18
I really hope you don't have pets. First class moron right here, ladies and gents.
Brandi_Faith 34
I believe that pets are family too, but you can't judge other people for not being able to handle their pet after big life changes and feeling that it would be better (not just for them, but for the animal as well) to give them up to another person that would love it and be able to take care of it and give it what it needs better than what the current owner can give it. I hate when people judge other people so severely when they are doing the best they can and making hard decisions that they feel is best for themselves and others in their family (including the pet).
DoomedGemini 38
As others in other comments have said, some animals react very badly to changing owners, I believe birds are one of them. As for "good homes", it's hard to be sure at times. Our mastiff-lab we were barely scraping by and thought it was better to rehome him. It was with my moms coworker, someone who she talked to constantly. He had a very hard time adjusting and when we got him back we find out he'd been abused in the short amount of time they were with them. This was someone my mom talked to a lot before giving him to them, who never indicated any sort of thing wrong. I'll accept responsibility for what happened to him but it shows you can't always be sure that "good home" is so good.
Lalala579121 28
Screw getting rid of the bird. Dump the child.
Xamry14 10
Wow. Your just ****** up. I get caring about animals, I do, but that doesn't mean you have to be totally apathetic or even mean about human infants. They didn't ask to be here. You can car about both, as any decent human would.
Lalala579121 28
I would rather not run either of them over with a car, let alone both of them. Much too messy.
fpants2010 18
I know it doesn't seem like it now, but it will get easier!! Good luck, and congratulations on your bundle of joy :)
ragnarok1540 39
The solution to your problem is quite simple. Just start paying attention to your cockatoo and your baby will start chirping like a bird ... then you will have nothing but the soothing sounds of birds to fall asleep to.
RememberSchlitz 9
Put the bird in a cage at night and cover the cage with a sheet, and it'll probably stop doing that. Doesn't work with kids, sadly.
Migole 36
I don't know much about birds but a lot of parrots species (if not all?) need a partner to be happy. So if you've always been its solitary form of entertainment/communication, I would suggest you read up on your pet and/or go see a professional about it. Maybe a second bird might just solve all your problems?
GingerFace09 13
Not really. Because there is no guarantee that the other parrot will get along with your new one. And you can't cage them together for a long time. For sickness and safety reasons. Then you have two upset birds to take care of