Work: Today, I learned that the three secretaries at work make spreadsheets... - FML

By toilet on the clock - 08/06/2016 10:40 - China - Guangzhou

Today, I learned that the three secretaries at work make spreadsheets about who uses the toilets, when and for how long, and then make bets on who will take the longest toilet break, who will use it the most often, etc. Now I constantly look at my watch whenever I use the toilets. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 766

You deserved it 1 269

May weddings: Love and blunders
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Same thing different taste

By sudoku_fiend - 13/12/2015 04:40 - United States - Millville

Today, I discovered that I've spent so much time playing Sudoku in the bathroom at work that I've trained myself to need to pee whenever I open the app. FML

I agree, your life sucks 20 676

You deserved it 5 821

By deuceaddict - 03/11/2017 21:00

Today, I was confronted by my superiors for spending a "suspicious" amount of time in the bathroom every day. Not only did I have to take the test, but I also had to send in a doctor's note proving that I have a bowel condition I'd hoped to keep secret. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 752

You deserved it 293

By Labro9 - 23/10/2016 08:20

Today, as I was transcribing my manager's recorded orated memo, I heard an unmistakable grunt and splash of an impromptu "bathroom deposit." It seems like my manager is maximizing his time like never before. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 531

You deserved it 672

Out of the frying pan…

By Anonymous - 11/09/2022 12:30 - Belgium

Today, after I'd left my former job because of burnout for another job, where they'd said handling call time wasn't important, my new employer demands to fill in every day during the week how much time I spent on each task and calls, bathroom or coffee breaks, as "waste-time", and we need to fill in how much time we "wasted" pissing or shitting. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 045

You deserved it 122

Alexa, play "People = Shit" by Slipknot

By Faktafem - 19/06/2019 23:55

Today, I went to use one of the toilets at work, where once again someone had not flushed their poo. I work at an institute for higher education, and this happens on a weekly basis, even during the summer when no students are around. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 644

You deserved it 108

By Anon - 20/01/2017 22:00

Today, as any other work day, I sat down for lunch. Unfortunately, the door to the toilet is right next to where I sit. Every time a colleague uses the toilet, I hear everything, which puts me off my lunch. FML

I agree, your life sucks 6 108

You deserved it 1 726

Not now, mate

By yuen - 16/06/2009 14:59 - Australia

Today, I went to take a shit and found my boss shaving in the toilet. While in the cubicle, he asked me about my work and the conversation lasted 15 minutes. I stayed in there even though I'd finished shitting after 5 minutes, during which 3 people heard my progress report while shitting next to me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 596

You deserved it 4 737

Serial Shitter

By Anonymous - 24/10/2021 05:01 - South Africa - Johannesburg

Today, I got an email from a colleague with a picture in it of shit on the toilet seat. The email said, "Not pointing fingers but I left you out of the last email." I pee a lot and so I use the toilet a lot. I think everyone at work thinks it was me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 901

You deserved it 85

By Anonymous - 16/09/2009 02:27 - United States

Today, I realized my job is so boring that I spend most of my time trying to take a dump than actually working. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 617

You deserved it 6 747

By blakeintheoffice - 08/08/2012 13:53 - United States

Today, my insane boss decided I poop too much. Now, every time I go to the bathroom, he follows me in and tries to get me to hurry up by reading passages from 50 Shades of Grey. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 468

You deserved it 3 722

Next

Top comments

nonsensical 26

Wednesday 8 June 2016 18:20

Just stay there for 15 minutes one day, make them all lose their bets and give them a wink when you walk out

Welshite 39

Wednesday 8 June 2016 18:11

Join the office betting pool, and soon the pot will be overflowing. C'mon, the spreadsheets are simple toilet humor.

Comments

mojo45678 14

Thursday 9 June 2016 7:15

Now that's pretty crappy.

zaidthunder1 27

Thursday 9 June 2016 9:15

They seem very productive.

lucygwen 5

Thursday 9 June 2016 10:53

Now it's your turn to mess with their bets and be inconsistent and get a few people in on it

gummiworm369 4

Friday 10 June 2016 0:57

I agree nonsensical, but I'd stay in there longer.

Haremjutsu 15

Friday 10 June 2016 4:32

Make a deal with one of them, make sure they win, and split the money.

deathandcookies 14

Wednesday 12 July 2017 14:23

Surely they have better and more productive things to be doing?!

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