Miscellaneous: Today, I learned that it's possible to get hit by a bird while...

By SebastianCT - 19/08/2015 17:44 - United States - Tampa

Today, I learned that it's possible to get hit by a bird while bungee jumping. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 121

You deserved it 2 099

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Same thing different taste

By How? - 29/09/2018 10:30 - United States - Glasford

Today, a bird crashed into my face. I didn't think that actually happened to people outside of cartoons. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 015

You deserved it 206

Snap!

By wheelchairgirl - 16/12/2016 01:21 - Denmark

Today, I was watching a beautiful flock of birds flying overhead while walking in the street. The guy next to me was lucky enough to catch bird poop with his forehead. I was lucky enough to get distracted by it, trip, and break my ankle. FML

I agree, your life sucks 7 374

You deserved it 1 109

By Fuperman - 02/06/2013 23:14 - France - Illange

Today, I went on my first ever assisted skydive. I fainted after we jumped, and only came to as we touched the ground. FML

I agree, your life sucks 49 674

You deserved it 6 728

Not cut out for this

By Anonymous - 18/12/2016 02:10

Today, I took my girlfriend skydiving for her birthday. I insisted on joining her to make it a memory for us both, despite my fear of heights. I passed out twice mid-freefall and had to be saved by the instructor both times. FML

I agree, your life sucks 6 798

You deserved it 1 402

By nothingisreal69 - 01/03/2011 22:21 - Reserved

Today, as I was driving home from work, a bird decided to commit suicide by flying in front of my car. The shock caused me to slam on the brakes, totaling three other cars in the process. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 304

You deserved it 13 339

By oww - 09/03/2010 11:14 - United States

Today, I learned not to jump off a stage if nobody is going to catch you. FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 235

You deserved it 38 261

Seagull on wheels

By Anonymous - 18/07/2020 17:01

Today, I found out the hard way what it feels like to have a seagull poo on your face while cycling. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 434

You deserved it 149

By HorrorByrd - 26/07/2009 20:06 - Canada

Today, I went on the large bungee drop at the West Edmonton Mall waterpark. As I was falling, my bikini top came off. I had to wait for the bungee rope to stop moving and the life guard to release the ankle strap. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 043

You deserved it 14 195

By birdsterrifyme - 23/03/2015 04:42 - United States - Sikeston

Today, I decided to confront my fear of birds when my friend's pet bird was walking up to me. He got on my arm, climbed up and attacked my face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 163

You deserved it 4 372

By Olive14 - 15/12/2010 06:15

Today, I was caring for a bird that had flown into my window. I thought the poor thing wouldn't make it, when it shit in my hand, flew into my neck, then around my living room for ages before I could manage to get it out of the window. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 078

You deserved it 7 339

willyjac 17

Thursday 20 August 2015 12:05

And that bird learned you can get hit by a bungee jumper while flying

Tonymac617 16

Thursday 20 August 2015 12:04

Better than the cord snapping isn't it?

Comments

alex47625 22

Thursday 20 August 2015 12:49

Nana nana nana birdman

trucker2 33

Thursday 20 August 2015 12:57

Could have been worse....Duck

thebadguy85 10

Thursday 20 August 2015 22:03

How do you know it wasn't a duck?

aj9319 16

Thursday 20 August 2015 13:00

That was an added adventure, totally free of cost, just for you.

alexanderavatar 24

Thursday 20 August 2015 13:08

I believe I can Flyyyy I believe I can touch the sky I , SQUAWK oh shit he's not flying anymore

Nubsche 18

Thursday 20 August 2015 13:14

Are there birds in the sky?? Nooo really?

worldclassrager 39

Thursday 20 August 2015 14:03

For some reason this doesn't surprise me...

BlueXephos 10

Thursday 20 August 2015 14:25

As someone who has ornithophobia, I really feel for you OP

Nickiminajislyfe 20

Thursday 20 August 2015 14:26

This is why j eat chicken

TDKopecki 16

Thursday 20 August 2015 15:06

Your followup post better include something about the bird surviving or not.

zyero 9

Thursday 20 August 2015 16:24

Hopefully it wasn't a goose.... Geese are evil

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The Top

Today, I went to a corner store to restock my chocolate stash. A guy from work walked in to see me and the cashier arguing about the amount of candy I was trying to buy with a jar of pennies. He took one look at me and said, "That time of the month, eh?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 739

You deserved it 27 156

Today, a person I've never met called me a whore and spat on me. Why? Because I was babysitting for my neighbors and answered the door for two well dressed women passing out religious pamphlets. I politely declined to take any. Apparently being a 15 year-old girl caring for a toddler makes me a sex worker. FML

I agree, your life sucks 536

You deserved it 60

The Top

Today, I got mistaken for a high school freshman. It’s my 23rd birthday. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 409

You deserved it 241

Today, I had to inform a patient that she has an STD. She reacted by kicking me in the nuts. FML

I agree, your life sucks 54 493

You deserved it 4 799

Today, after years of impotence, I woke up with a raging boner. I was so happy until I remembered my wife divorced me last year because of my impotence. This depressed me so much that I couldn’t muster the enthusiasm to masturbate, and the boner went bye bye, never to return. FML

I agree, your life sucks 506

You deserved it 111

Today, we had our whole staff photo. We all had to stand up in rows in height order, as I'm tall I had to stand in the middle, at the back. I'm horribly claustrophobic and ended up fainting in front of 100 colleagues, taking down 4 people around me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 281

You deserved it 3 630

Today, I was talking to a guy I liked. He was dumped so he was ranting about how there's no good girls left. I mustered up some courage and told him I was a good girl and that I would treat him right, at which point he pretended to have an emergency phone call and abruptly left. He talked to his lock screen. FML

I agree, your life sucks 565

You deserved it 223

Today, my brother got a pet ferret. He told me it had a flexible spine, so I bent it backwards. It farted, and clawed my face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 342

You deserved it 87 178

Same thing different taste

Snap!

Not cut out for this

Seagull on wheels

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