Today, I kissed my gorgeous new boyfriend for the first time. I ran my hands through his hair; a multitude of dandruff rained out and five lice crawled onto my hand. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, my boyfriend and I are so close that we share everything. This now includes his head lice. Thanks, dude. FML
Today, I realized that the most romantic thing that my boyfriend and I have done in the last month is comb lice out of each other's hair. FML
Today, after finally spending the night with my longtime crush, it's as if I can still feel her fingers caressing my hair. But wait, no, that's just the head lice she gave me. FML
Today, for the first time in my life, I have lice. The dog we rescued infested our house. No amount of showering has made me feel clean, and my bald husband just doesn't understand why I'm so bothered. FML
Today, I thought my boyfriend was being sweet by stroking my hair, only to discover he was getting rid of a booger. FML
Today, my boyfriend told me he loved me for the first time. About 2 hours later, he got to hold my hair while I puked, also for the first time. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I shared our first kiss. When I leaned in on him, he fell over backwards and smashed his head against the floor. FML
Today, I went on a blind date. My date turned out to be very hot, and I had high hopes. That is, until she ran her hand through her hair as she approached, sending some kind of horrifying, miasmic mist of dandruff and dead skin floating through the air behind her. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I shared our first kiss. His partly digested nachos decided to make an appearance halfway through. FML
Today, I woke up to a text from my boyfriend asking if I'd Skype with him. Thinking he'd find my tousled bed hair and big t-shirt sexy, I went on. The first thing he noticed was the massive booger on my face that stretched from my nose to the other side of my cheek. FML
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Top comments
seeoseek 18
Ewwww nasty!!
isallwaysme 27
That's damnruff (horrible pun over)
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Comments (128)
GhostChickens 17
You gazed into my eyes, what could I do but linger? I ran my hands all through your hair and a cootie bit my finger.
Zehla 7
How is dandruff revolting or gross? My boyfriend has very healthy, shiny hair, but he still gets dandruff from time to time. It is not a huge deal. Lice on the other hand....not as bad really, just contagious, annoying, etc. It is a quick fix at least.
sappy0 5
That could depend on how badly infested this guy is, doncha think? Either way, it's still a pretty gross situation.
Lil_Red777 21
I just threw up a bit. I would dump him, I don't care how good looking someone is if they don't have good hygiene! And he's clearly old enough to know how to take care of that!
newyorkcityguy 9
Good, because no guy would want somebody as naive and retarded as you. First of all, lice are more attracted to clean hair and are extremely contagious, it's like catching the cold. Which people do all the time. Would you break up with somebody for catching a cold? I take that back, somebody like you probably would. And another thing, dandruff is caused by a dry scalp, which means he either has naturally non-oily skin or washes his hair excessively which dries the scalp and causes dandruff. In other words, for all we know he could be super hygienic, and you're already assuming things. Please go dip your head in battery acid.
Lilo4life 26
That's actually really gross...
wildfiresgirl 7
EEEEEWWWWWWW!
xStaciexLynnx 15
I'm pretty sure there's no way lice would just crawl onto your hand, unless you've got some seriously hairy hands, and dandruff really isn't bad. Easy fixes, OP.
Ameel_fml 19
As someone who has spent many an hours picking lice from my kids' hair with one of those annoying lice combs, I'm inclined to agree. The little bastards don't just fall out of your hair, no matter how hard you rough the hair up. :(
genesis90 0
GROSS!!
Hpixiee 23
I'm just going to say this, but everyone will have dandruff problems at some point. Most of the time it's just by shampoo that doesn't want to come out, and as stated by earlier comments lice don't like dirty hair (and I doubt they just crawled on your hands). I don't think his hygiene is the problem.
99megster 15
I agree, everyone gets dandruff at times. I always get a bit of dandruff in the winter. It's not a big deal
mokielove 10
I would have screamed , and ran