Today, I kissed my gorgeous new boyfriend for the first time. I ran my hands through his hair; a multitude of dandruff rained out and five lice crawled onto my hand. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my boyfriend and I are so close that we share everything. This now includes his head lice. Thanks, dude. FML
Today, I realized that the most romantic thing that my boyfriend and I have done in the last month is comb lice out of each other's hair. FML
Today, after finally spending the night with my longtime crush, it's as if I can still feel her fingers caressing my hair. But wait, no, that's just the head lice she gave me. FML
Today, for the first time in my life, I have lice. The dog we rescued infested our house. No amount of showering has made me feel clean, and my bald husband just doesn't understand why I'm so bothered. FML
Today, I thought my boyfriend was being sweet by stroking my hair, only to discover he was getting rid of a booger. FML
Today, my boyfriend told me he loved me for the first time. About 2 hours later, he got to hold my hair while I puked, also for the first time. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I shared our first kiss. When I leaned in on him, he fell over backwards and smashed his head against the floor. FML
Today, I went on a blind date. My date turned out to be very hot, and I had high hopes. That is, until she ran her hand through her hair as she approached, sending some kind of horrifying, miasmic mist of dandruff and dead skin floating through the air behind her. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I shared our first kiss. His partly digested nachos decided to make an appearance halfway through. FML
Today, I woke up to a text from my boyfriend asking if I'd Skype with him. Thinking he'd find my tousled bed hair and big t-shirt sexy, I went on. The first thing he noticed was the massive booger on my face that stretched from my nose to the other side of my cheek. FML
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Top comments
seeoseek 18
Ewwww nasty!!
isallwaysme 27
That's damnruff (horrible pun over)
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Comments (128)
Micoool 2
hhhhhhhhh & what was his response when you showed him his lice who raise them on his head :D??
daniellenb22 4
ugh how gross, the cute ones always got something wit them lol
xojoslinox 8
I hope you talk to him about that..
Ominn 6
Okay, yeah, lice are nasty, but dandruff is something else entirely. I suffer from it, and have tried every hair care method out there within what I can afford, and none of it worked. The stigma against it has made talking to people face to face difficult for me, and caused me to develop (and overcome, thankfully) a tic where I'd subconsciously brush at my shoulders and pluck my collar every few minutes. So **** you people who shun or leave a person that suffers dandruff.
katejones 8
Have you tried washing your hair with baking soda ( one spoon mixed with some water, gently scrub in hair and rinse - this will get rid of all the excess dirt and grease ) and then rinse it with a vinegar solution. ( add one cup vinegar and two cups water in a jar and use a little of that ). Sounds odd I know but it worked wonders for my ex. No more dry itchy scalp. No more dandruff. He probably reacted to shampoo cleaning too aggressively, or some component in the shampoos he tried. Good luck! ( it's cheap too - cheaper than shampoo - so worth trying)
Vanillanougat 14
I hate to be the guy that says it.... but I think you misused the word "multitude." Then again, I might be wrong. Either way, FYL.
akiahara 14
I don't think lice will just crawl on you from touching an infected head... they're not fleas.
MySecretaccount 11
eww wtf
outoftown 27
Are you sure the vermin weren't maggots? Maybe he's an unusually attractive zombie.
Cut3yPi3 7
Ewww, I hope he's your old BF.
Twisted_Angel 17
um... ewww. what bugs me the most about this, is he knows he has lice, and doesnt care. think about how nasty that is... gorgeous or not, thats dirty...