Today, I heard vibrating from inside my husband's desk drawer. Since he's away for the weekend, I investigated. I found an unfamiliar cellphone with an inbound call. I answered it. Turns out, it was his mistress. Neither of us can get a hold of him. FML
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Top comments
By
hbcbmx
| 5
Change the locks while hes gone ;)
By
geod69
| 8
Probably with his other mistress
COMMENTS
By
DogReypistPANDA
| 6
I'm sorry.
Reply
Eaglestrike117
| 29
At least you know he isn't cheating on you right now... unless he has a SECOND mistress! o.0
Reply
KaySL
| 24
That or he has another mistress.
Reply
KaySL
| 24
Effective use of the edit button, #5. I salute you.
Reply
urdirtyolduncle
| 15
You call it cheating. I call it pimping.
Reply
lovelife_1284
| 3
I call it a load of shit!!
Reply
kidtoronto
| 5
i'd be so emotionally confused in that situation
Reply
AnonymousTroll
| 2
You know Charlie Sheen??
Reply
ashtonkay
| 7
Haha your sorry? Don't be sorry, you shouldn't be a sorry person. It's not good for you (:
Reply
ayooBrandon
| 12
i smell a 3rd mistress
Reply
bizarre_ftw
| 21
Wow if you can smell her than op should be twice insulted for his choice in women
Reply
alexnumber14
| 2
Lol
Reply
bizarre_ftw
| 21
Also, why have we all looked over the possibility of a boyfriend? :)
Just saying, op should be open to surprises or we may be seeing another FML in the near future..
Just saying, op should be open to surprises or we may be seeing another FML in the near future..
Reply
bizarre_ftw
| 21
*then (phone, touch screen, autocorrect = annoying. *facepalm*)
Reply
Notimetobleed
| 14
bizarre_ftw, are you a vampire?
Reply
rainydayz133
| 6
Op is a girl, she found out that her husband has a mistress
Reply
reaganomics
| 6
Two women pissed at one guy......hell hath no furry like a woman scorned
Reply
bizarre_ftw
| 21
116 no *shifty eyes* why do you ask?
Reply
guppyfishlette
| 1
Well you're a sexy vampire(: oh... Was that my outside voice >.>
Reply
paperdoll14
| 0
And now..he's scorned two ..possibly three.
Reply
jamiecornish95
| 0
I agree with #45
Reply
ohwellwhyme
| 2
Fh
Reply
ohwellwhyme
| 2
Oops
Reply
thatssomeBS
| 9
67: I smell a 4 way.
Reply
cjhilde
| 1
158 is the 3rd mistress...smells like bacon
Reply
Naitsi
| 19
me too
Reply
Notimetobleed
| 14
143 och 158, one is a lesbian och other is dead, nasty.
Reply
Haha_no_123
| 11
#128 thank you captain obvious
By
hbcbmx
| 5
Change the locks while hes gone ;)
Reply
TherealMort
| 0
Put him in the basement and chain him to the radiator and leave the swinging cracked light on. Then lock the door and leave him there like in the cartoons.
Reply
Comet_Candy
| 23
Genius!
Reply
jwade11
| 12
59-- extremely pretty!
Reply
SillyFart
| 7
Comment not moderated
Reply
TheRealBruce
| 12
Oh you like mistresses then I'm going to make you smoke a whole carton of cigarettes wait...I do not know where I'm going with this
Reply
DKParth13
| 5
Do you know what it feels like to be the last one to know......
By
geod69
| 8
Probably with his other mistress
Reply
FMMFL1992
| 3
Last week he was with his other other mistress.
Reply
bizarre_ftw
| 21
Actually, this week he's Really at the office. Either that or with his second family in Utah
Reply
ah21
| 0
No duh
Reply
vroooom
| 2
he probably realized he forgot his other cp and knows that hes fucked.
By
alival
| 12
Now he's in trouble with two women! Well he deserves it!
Reply
SillyFart
| 7
Yo dawg I heard you like mistresses so we put a mistress in yo mis... Damn that doesn't work..
Reply
t765234
| 10
66- Yo dawg, I heard you like mistresses, so we put a mistress inside yo mistress... But they both died...
Reply
SillyFart
| 7
Ok I got it this time... Yo dawg. I heard you like mistresses so we put a mistress in yo mistress so you can miss yo mistress as you miss yo misstress
Reply
MrSexyPants
| 14
I love it. All of you. Bravo.
Reply
ALpein
| 0
Jogging to his latest booty call.
Reply
MrRocknTwigs
| 6
He is condemned to the nightmare of all men. Lol
By
Henneryy
| 2
Too many negative votes, comment buried.
Show the comment
Reply
leogirl95
| 12
Not really, no.
Reply
KiddNYC1O
| 20
Slutty.
Reply
SillyFart
| 7
Well, wherever he is I think it's safe to say his penis is learning harden.
Reply
topie_fml
| 6
How the fuck is that kinky?
By
Unstoppabl3
| 0
I thought you said "I heard my vibrator in my husbands desk" O.o
Reply
upyourzlolz
| 11
It's there alright. Just two drawers over.
Reply
zombicidal
| 11
that's where I thought this was going
Reply
ZombieLoveA
| 0
Same here.
Reply
imaninja1
| 9
Agreed ^^
Reply
fl0ffy
| 0
ME TOO
Reply
Manganimegrl
| 16
Same.
Reply
vadim14
| 3
According to my calculations, that would make for a much more interesting fml.
Reply
vadim14
| 3
yes... yes. at the very least.
Reply
PandaPandy
| 6
I thought he was the one with the vibrator... XD
Reply
born_hustla
| 26
Husband...vibrator!?! Heyyy yoooo.. Lol
Reply
bubo_fml
| 10
op sez,"call me right back!" 1 guess where the phone gets inserted...Well...2-3 guesses...
By
Jonkbaby
| 19
I like reading about teamwork
By
MrBoredGuy
| 1
He's with number 3, time for a divorce
Reply
hotPinklipstick
| 24
I recommend contacting every board certified/good divorce lawyer around, even in the towns around you. When he tries to get a good lawyer it will be a conflict of interest for them to even speak to him and he will be stuck with a shitty lawyer and you will win the case and all his shit to go with it. After all cheaters don't deserve anything.
Reply
t765234
| 10
Yeah you should burn his cloths and kill his pets too, you know because cheaters reverse absolutely nothing, you might even want to sell all of his possessions and the house, if you live with him just buy a new one.
*sarcasm*
*sarcasm*
Reply
t765234
| 10
Clothes*
Deserve*
Damn you auto-correct.
Deserve*
Damn you auto-correct.
Reply
ShelbyyCakess
| 0
Don't kill his pets! They did nothing! ),:
Reply
ImaginaryFoe
| 0
#50, please don't pass off that old soap opera plot as truth. Unless OP actually puts each attorney from each firm on retainer, there is no conflict of interest. I highly doubt OP lives in one of the few places on Earth where there is a short supply of lawyers.
Reply
hoshi87
| 11
Too true, you need to act quickly
Reply
hotPinklipstick
| 24
Actually it does work, it's happened to me before, not with a divorce lawyer though.
By
frdmnky12
| 6
wow. when he gets back, both of you should ambush him!
Reply
bizarre_ftw
| 21
He might like that...
Reply
PinkElephants713
| 6
Or arrange a tea get hearing with her on the day he is to get back and be all like, "oh, hello have you met _____?"
Reply
PinkElephants713
| 6
Together **
Reply
deviable
| 9
Thank god you corrected that. I thought you were having a seizure and accidentally hit enter.
Reply
PinkElephants713
| 6
You know it!! :)
By
WeAreAHurricane
| 14
+5 points for being a sneaky cheater
-100 for being a cheater in the first place -.-
-100 for being a cheater in the first place -.-
Reply
nikkirenn
| 6
He wasn't that sneaky, he did get caught.