By Anonymous - 04/12/2011 23:52 - United States

Today, I heard vibrating from inside my husband's desk drawer. Since he's away for the weekend, I investigated. I found an unfamiliar cellphone with an inbound call. I answered it. Turns out, it was his mistress. Neither of us can get a hold of him. FML
I agree, your life sucks 50 097
You deserved it 3 423

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Top comments

hbcbmx 5

Change the locks while hes gone ;)

geod69 8

Probably with his other mistress

Comments

At least you know he isn't cheating on you right now... unless he has a SECOND mistress! o.0

You call it cheating. I call it pimping.

I call it a load of shit!!

i'd be so emotionally confused in that situation

You know Charlie Sheen??

ashtonkay 7

Haha your sorry? Don't be sorry, you shouldn't be a sorry person. It's not good for you (:

ayooBrandon 12

i smell a 3rd mistress

bizarre_ftw 21

Wow if you can smell her than op should be twice insulted for his choice in women

alexnumber14 2

Lol

bizarre_ftw 21

Also, why have we all looked over the possibility of a boyfriend? :) Just saying, op should be open to surprises or we may be seeing another FML in the near future..

bizarre_ftw 21

*then (phone, touch screen, autocorrect = annoying. *facepalm*)

bizarre_ftw, are you a vampire?

rainydayz133 6

Op is a girl, she found out that her husband has a mistress

Two women pissed at one guy......hell hath no furry like a woman scorned

bizarre_ftw 21

116 no *shifty eyes* why do you ask?

guppyfishlette 1

Well you're a sexy vampire(: oh... Was that my outside voice >.>

And now..he's scorned two ..possibly three.

ohwellwhyme 2

Fh

ohwellwhyme 2

Oops

67: I smell a 4 way.

cjhilde 1

158 is the 3rd mistress...smells like bacon

143 och 158, one is a lesbian och other is dead, nasty.

#128 thank you captain obvious

hbcbmx 5

Change the locks while hes gone ;)

Put him in the basement and chain him to the radiator and leave the swinging cracked light on. Then lock the door and leave him there like in the cartoons.

Comet_Candy 23

Genius!

jwade11 12

59-- extremely pretty!

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TheRealBruce 12

Oh you like mistresses then I'm going to make you smoke a whole carton of cigarettes wait...I do not know where I'm going with this

DKParth13 5

Do you know what it feels like to be the last one to know......

geod69 8

Probably with his other mistress

FMMFL1992 3

Last week he was with his other other mistress.

bizarre_ftw 21

Actually, this week he's Really at the office. Either that or with his second family in Utah

ah21 0

No duh

he probably realized he forgot his other cp and knows that hes fucked.

Now he's in trouble with two women! Well he deserves it!

Yo dawg I heard you like mistresses so we put a mistress in yo mis... Damn that doesn't work..

66- Yo dawg, I heard you like mistresses, so we put a mistress inside yo mistress... But they both died...

Ok I got it this time... Yo dawg. I heard you like mistresses so we put a mistress in yo mistress so you can miss yo mistress as you miss yo misstress

MrSexyPants 14

I love it. All of you. Bravo.

Jogging to his latest booty call.

He is condemned to the nightmare of all men. Lol

Comment moderated for rule-breaking.

Show it anyway
leogirl95 12

Not really, no.

KiddNYC1O 20

Slutty.

Well, wherever he is I think it's safe to say his penis is learning harden.

topie_fml 6

How the fuck is that kinky?

Unstoppabl3 0

I thought you said "I heard my vibrator in my husbands desk" O.o

It's there alright. Just two drawers over.

that's where I thought this was going

ZombieLoveA 0

Same here.

imaninja1 9

Agreed ^^

vadim14 3

According to my calculations, that would make for a much more interesting fml.

vadim14 3

yes... yes. at the very least.

PandaPandy 6

I thought he was the one with the vibrator... XD

born_hustla 26

Husband...vibrator!?! Heyyy yoooo.. Lol

bubo_fml 10

op sez,"call me right back!" 1 guess where the phone gets inserted...Well...2-3 guesses...

I like reading about teamwork

MrBoredGuy 1

He's with number 3, time for a divorce

hotPinklipstick 24

I recommend contacting every board certified/good divorce lawyer around, even in the towns around you. When he tries to get a good lawyer it will be a conflict of interest for them to even speak to him and he will be stuck with a shitty lawyer and you will win the case and all his shit to go with it. After all cheaters don't deserve anything.

Yeah you should burn his cloths and kill his pets too, you know because cheaters reverse absolutely nothing, you might even want to sell all of his possessions and the house, if you live with him just buy a new one. *sarcasm*

Clothes* Deserve* Damn you auto-correct.

ShelbyyCakess 0

Don't kill his pets! They did nothing! ),:

#50, please don't pass off that old soap opera plot as truth. Unless OP actually puts each attorney from each firm on retainer, there is no conflict of interest. I highly doubt OP lives in one of the few places on Earth where there is a short supply of lawyers.

Too true, you need to act quickly

hotPinklipstick 24

Actually it does work, it's happened to me before, not with a divorce lawyer though.

wow. when he gets back, both of you should ambush him!

bizarre_ftw 21

He might like that...

Or arrange a tea get hearing with her on the day he is to get back and be all like, "oh, hello have you met _____?"

Thank god you corrected that. I thought you were having a seizure and accidentally hit enter.

WeAreAHurricane 14

+5 points for being a sneaky cheater -100 for being a cheater in the first place -.-

He wasn't that sneaky, he did get caught.