Dogs, Pranks and Love: Today, I heard noises outside my front door. I looked out through...

By wellokaythen - 14/05/2013 19:52 - Canada - Brampton

Today, I heard noises outside my front door. I looked out through the window, only to see my boyfriend encouraging his dog to take a dump on my welcome mat. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 924

You deserved it 5 106

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Same thing different taste

By Puppy problems - 27/10/2013 01:23 - United States - Essex Junction

Today, I invited my boyfriend over to meet my new puppy. My dog decided to take a dump on his lap. He is now not talking to me because he thinks I trained my dog to do that. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 523

You deserved it 4 507

By sammyxoxo - 18/12/2011 08:32 - Canada

Today, I stepped into a pile of dog shit on my doorstep, along with a note saying, "Keep your dog out of my yard." I don't own a dog. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 771

You deserved it 2 771

By life_suxxx - 17/12/2009 06:09 - United States

Today, I come home to find that my dog has taken a dump on my bed. I quickly put on my house shoes to avoid possibly stepping on any other of his turds. I felt something squish all over my right foot. He also took a dump in my house shoe. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 550

You deserved it 4 899

By dirtyfoot - 18/01/2009 21:50 - United States

Today, I stepped in dog shit, barefoot, in my own bathroom. The dog had been outside for two hours earlier, and I'd watched him take a dump. Apparently he was saving some for when he got back in the house. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 102

You deserved it 2 434

By Matti - 17/08/2018 22:00

Today, as I sat on the toilet, I heard a noise outside. I peered through the window and found myself staring directly at my neighbor. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 174

You deserved it 236

Spooked

By fucking mafia or what?? - 12/01/2013 22:02 - United States - Marysville

Today, I opened my front door to go out for groceries. Lying on my doorstep was a pile of poop. A piece of paper was taped to the ground beside it that read, "Do it again and you'll get more than dog shit." I don't have the slightest clue who I pissed off, or how. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 000

You deserved it 3 454

By ugh - 14/06/2011 17:56 - United States

Today, I woke up to a homeless man relentlessly shitting on my porch. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 691

You deserved it 3 921

Pick it up

By Cassie - 02/05/2011 00:21

Today, I took my dog for a walk. He started crapping on someone's lawn, then I noticed that the owner was outside and giving me a death stare. Not knowing what to do, I picked up the crap with my bare hands. The man started laughing at me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 17 388

You deserved it 50 966

By frenchpop1960 - 23/02/2009 21:58 - United States

Today, I was over at my boyfriend's house and I heard a strange sound. I laughed and said, "It sounds like a dog throwing up!" He listened for a second and said "That's my mom crying downstairs." FML

I agree, your life sucks 15 370

You deserved it 41 843

Bad boy

By Really - 14/05/2023 08:00 - United States

Today, my roommate let his dog out. Not even five minutes later, she walked into my room and dropped a deuce. FML

I agree, your life sucks 708

You deserved it 84

HowAreYouToday 34

Tuesday 14 May 2013 23:59

He's a shitty boyfriend.

davek 36

Wednesday 15 May 2013 0:03

He should consider himself, erm, dumped?

Comments

lukehalper 4

Wednesday 15 May 2013 3:57

Bitch swerve yo pussy jus got crucified

XxwumboxX 3

Wednesday 15 May 2013 3:57

Wow, you ma'am have a very shitty boyfriend

ctchan2381 5

Wednesday 15 May 2013 4:00

MEN...thats all that needs to be said

theworldismad 10

Wednesday 15 May 2013 4:01

wow he's a keeper for sure :/

ScenicSubterfuge 39

Wednesday 15 May 2013 4:49

Haha, you're welcome!!

dakatabg 31

Wednesday 15 May 2013 4:58

What a boyfriend

rebel501 4

Wednesday 15 May 2013 5:00

Funny if u joke like that but if ur not one to joke. I'm sorry.

ouimetnick 10

Wednesday 15 May 2013 5:12

You should encourage him to clean it up!

dogger2001 6

Wednesday 15 May 2013 5:16

I hope is dog took the biggest fucken shit that's ever come out its ass

staroftexas9 3

Wednesday 15 May 2013 6:16

Shit.. Sit , they sound similar.

Keywords

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Today, I was hugging my girlfriend after she had a really bad day at work, when she burst into tears and started sobbing. For some reason that I'll never understand, it gave me a hard-on. She felt it, and now she thinks I'm a sick bastard. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 181

You deserved it 7 310

Today, my girlfriend won't stay over at my apartment anymore. Why? Because she saw a few roaches. Pest control comes every week and I spray every other day, so there's only so much I can about it. The worst part is now it's extremely difficult to spend time together because she lives with her mom and sister, who argue nonstop. FML

I agree, your life sucks 737

You deserved it 252

The Top

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I agree, your life sucks 1 634

You deserved it 202

Today, the company I work for is now under new ownership. Somehow, this set off a series of events that resulted in the best boss I've ever had being effectively fired. I'm badly disabled, and she was the only thing stopping me from experiencing rampant ableism at work. I may be jobless again very soon. FML

I agree, your life sucks 520

You deserved it 102

Today, my husband told me to stop being friends with my best guy friend because I won't let him hang out with his ex. FML

I agree, your life sucks 500

You deserved it 919

Today, I was on a first date with a girl at the movies. Trying to be polite, I held in a fart until an intense, loud action scene came on. As soon as I let go, the scene went silent and my fart was clearly heard to everyone in the movie theatre. My date went to the bathroom. She didn't come back. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 975

You deserved it 83 974

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I agree, your life sucks 20 518

You deserved it 1 874

Today, my sister and I both got "good luck" cards from our aunt wishing us well on our exams. My sister's said "We know you will do well". Mine said "We will love you no matter what happens". FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 149

You deserved it 5 084

Same thing different taste

Spooked

Pick it up

Bad boy

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