Dogs, Pranks and Love: Today, I heard noises outside my front door. I looked out through...

By wellokaythen - 14/05/2013 19:52 - Canada - Brampton

Today, I heard noises outside my front door. I looked out through the window, only to see my boyfriend encouraging his dog to take a dump on my welcome mat. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 924

You deserved it 5 106

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Same thing different taste

By Puppy problems - 27/10/2013 01:23 - United States - Essex Junction

Today, I invited my boyfriend over to meet my new puppy. My dog decided to take a dump on his lap. He is now not talking to me because he thinks I trained my dog to do that. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 523

You deserved it 4 507

By sammyxoxo - 18/12/2011 08:32 - Canada

Today, I stepped into a pile of dog shit on my doorstep, along with a note saying, "Keep your dog out of my yard." I don't own a dog. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 771

You deserved it 2 771

By life_suxxx - 17/12/2009 06:09 - United States

Today, I come home to find that my dog has taken a dump on my bed. I quickly put on my house shoes to avoid possibly stepping on any other of his turds. I felt something squish all over my right foot. He also took a dump in my house shoe. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 550

You deserved it 4 899

By dirtyfoot - 18/01/2009 21:50 - United States

Today, I stepped in dog shit, barefoot, in my own bathroom. The dog had been outside for two hours earlier, and I'd watched him take a dump. Apparently he was saving some for when he got back in the house. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 102

You deserved it 2 434

By Matti - 17/08/2018 22:00

Today, as I sat on the toilet, I heard a noise outside. I peered through the window and found myself staring directly at my neighbor. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 174

You deserved it 236

Spooked

By fucking mafia or what?? - 12/01/2013 22:02 - United States - Marysville

Today, I opened my front door to go out for groceries. Lying on my doorstep was a pile of poop. A piece of paper was taped to the ground beside it that read, "Do it again and you'll get more than dog shit." I don't have the slightest clue who I pissed off, or how. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 000

You deserved it 3 454

By ugh - 14/06/2011 17:56 - United States

Today, I woke up to a homeless man relentlessly shitting on my porch. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 691

You deserved it 3 921

Pick it up

By Cassie - 02/05/2011 00:21

Today, I took my dog for a walk. He started crapping on someone's lawn, then I noticed that the owner was outside and giving me a death stare. Not knowing what to do, I picked up the crap with my bare hands. The man started laughing at me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 17 388

You deserved it 50 966

By frenchpop1960 - 23/02/2009 21:58 - United States

Today, I was over at my boyfriend's house and I heard a strange sound. I laughed and said, "It sounds like a dog throwing up!" He listened for a second and said "That's my mom crying downstairs." FML

I agree, your life sucks 15 370

You deserved it 41 843

Bad boy

By Really - 14/05/2023 08:00 - United States

Today, my roommate let his dog out. Not even five minutes later, she walked into my room and dropped a deuce. FML

I agree, your life sucks 708

You deserved it 84

HowAreYouToday 34

Tuesday 14 May 2013 23:59

He's a shitty boyfriend.

davek 36

Wednesday 15 May 2013 0:03

He should consider himself, erm, dumped?

Comments

TypoH 7

Wednesday 15 May 2013 2:02

Suprise!

Ypetrol 11

Wednesday 15 May 2013 2:11

Nice boyfriend you have

worldclassrager 39

Wednesday 15 May 2013 2:32

This sounds like an ex type of thing...if he didn't like the door mat he could have just told you....

Allennis44 16

Wednesday 15 May 2013 2:35

He's so infinitely clever.

x23bzrk 16

Wednesday 15 May 2013 2:51

in all seriousness he might have thought this was a clever way to *dump* her

Ur_Life_My_Laugh 6

Wednesday 15 May 2013 3:08

Don't put up with his crap.

Shorty777 4

Wednesday 15 May 2013 3:15

Neither one of them would be welcomed to come in.

peachfuzz74 8

Wednesday 15 May 2013 3:25

I'd make him clean it or use his hairbrush or toothbrush to clean it up:)

XxwumboxX 3

Wednesday 15 May 2013 3:49

Well, You ma'am have a shitty boyfriend

AngrySailor 17

Wednesday 15 May 2013 3:49

You must live in Welland.

Keywords

Video games Love Gamers Health Gross Weird First Dates Smells Parents Technology Kids Annoying Jealousy Animals Dogs AITA Pranks Dreams Family Geek Relatable Gun control Amazon Money Cute Birthday Awkward Abuse Social Media Scams

The Top

Today, I arrived at a camp and met one of my roommates. At bedtime, I had energy still, so I did push-ups. The guy was asleep or so I thought because he was facing the wall. The guy thought I was jacking off and told everyone I did it in the middle of our room. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 818

You deserved it 2 837

Today, I brought my best friend home and told my dad we were going to study together. He loudly replied "Woah!", stumbled around for a few seconds like he was drunk, then apologized and said the "sheer amount of gayness" between us had overloaded his gaydar. We're not gay, dammit! FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 756

You deserved it 3 574

The Top

Today, while trying on an outfit in the dressing room at the mall, I got locked in. I decided to take 5 minutes to try and get out by crawling under the door. After I got out, I realized I left my cell phone, my purse and my pants inside. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 942

You deserved it 34 633

Today, four days before Christmas, I discovered a rash on my daughter's shoulder. The doctor took one look and said, "It's chicken pox. Merry Christmas." FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 945

You deserved it 2 051

Today, my car was in the shop so I borrowed my wife's VW Beetle convertible. It's really embarrassing because it's a girlie car and it's full of little stuffed animals. At a stop light a man asked me if I'd like to borrow one of his testicles because "every man should have at least one." FML

I agree, your life sucks 105 354

You deserved it 22 482

Today, my daughter was unable to take the SAT. They wouldn’t let her in, because, “no one told her she would need two forms of ID.” To be fair, she would have gotten a terrible score anyway, if she’s really that dumb. FML

I agree, your life sucks 333

You deserved it 825

Today, and every time I don’t feel like having sex with my boyfriend, he audibly jerks off, and passively aggressively moans to try and guilt trip me into doing it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 269

You deserved it 640

Today, a customer phoned, asking to collect an item. I explained that there was no need, as the item had already been posted out to her and was on its way. Her response? Apparently, I don’t deserve to have a set of balls, and I’m lucky or she’d emasculate me. She'd ordered a remote control. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 100

You deserved it 85

Same thing different taste

Spooked

Pick it up

Bad boy

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