By Locked Out - 14/05/2013 19:11 - United States

Today, after coming home from school, I found that two birds have made a nest above the porch light. This wouldn't be a problem if they stopped attacking me every time I get within 5 feet of them. FML
I agree, your life sucks 41 745
You deserved it 3 536

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HowAreYouToday 34

Angry birds IRL.

Get the pigs to help you out!


It's Birdemic all over again! Watch out for the explosive acid divebombs, and remember to use your coathanger wisely.

Hitchcock would be proud.

HowAreYouToday 34

Angry birds IRL.

Get the pigs to help you out!

Those are probably mocking birds. Those are vicious. My friend had to call animal control because of them.

Yessss, as soon as the pigs steal their eggs, they shall be distracted. That is when you shall strike. HsssSssSssSsss.

HowAreYouToday 34

I don't know what's going on, but to clarify as clarity is obviously needed, IN ANGRY BIRDS YOU SHOOT BIRDS WITH PIGS. Thank you for your time . Capt. Obvious, out.

You shoot pigs with birds, not the other way around. So unless we are distracting the birds, I don't know how the pigs would help. I also don't know where one could possibly find green pigs.

HowAreYouToday 34

By golly you're right. I didn't notice my mistake. I'm so ashamed.

Time to call Animal Control. There might be a slight problem if the nest has eggs in it, though.

Kiil 'em before it lays eggs!

Try moving it without harming the nest, put it in a tree or somewhere else, if there's eggs, then be really careful

I would recommend asking the local Animal Control to do that. They're better equipped to do that.

Through telekinesis? OP can't get within five feet of the nest without being attacked.

Don't bird leave the nest if you touch it?

ArielTheMermaid 17

14, that's just a myth

#7 did you write that on your Mac book pro while drinking a $12 Starbucks coffee? Do you or have you lived in a rural setting? Move the fucking nest. It's YOUR house, not the birds. It won't harm a thing if you place it in a proper setting. FML for having read your stupidity.

Just when I though all hope was lost, 46 comes up with a simple solution to an easy problem. Animal control? C'mon.

You have to show the birds who the boss is, OP. So just give them a shit ton of paperwork and make them work weekends. They will learn real soon, I assure you.

I use to have a pair of doves do this on my porch. As mean as it sounds - remove the best or they'll keep returning yearly.

Oops, just noticed - that should be nest.

Yes, remove the best, and the worst will follow. :)

I had barn swallows on my porch. After removing the nest (no eggs) I had to put up barriers to keep them from building a new one. And by "me" I mean "my husband" because I'm deathly afraid of birds.

Yeah #49, took me 3 years of destroying their nest and blocking the area before they got the message.

49 I recommend you watch the movie birds. They are so cute there, and you will never be afraid again.

lishajoy777 14

You sir, are a meanie pants. Dont do it 49 Dont do it!

Awe lisha you spoiled the fun. :( lol

lisha * spell check

perdix 29

Badminton racquet. Designed for swatting birdies (or shuttlecocks ;) )

Birdie, you say? A golf club would do the trick too.

No... Just no. Those are living creatures. They're just protective parents. Shooting them is the worst possible thing to do.

PiNkMoOn 9

it's beautiful that you have a piece of nature in your room!

Except it isn't in OPs room.

PiNkMoOn 9

sorry,my wrong

DKjazz 20

Ever heard the expression, "Two birds, one stone"? Guess it's time find a stone.