Today, I heard a baby crying while I was walking down the street. I walked around until I found it. In a dumpster. I immediately called the cops, completely freaking out. When the cops came, they pulled the baby out of the dumpster. It was a plastic baby doll. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my class got baby dolls for the week to teach us how to be good parents. After school, I went to the store with my mom with the baby doll. When I got home, I realized that I left the baby doll in a shopping cart. FML
Today, I was found out when I was a baby, I was abandoned in a dumpster. FML
Today, I saw a lady with a stroller in the park. She stopped at the water fountain and got a drink, then left without her baby. I ran to the stroller and started rolling it after her. Two grown men attacked me, accusing me of trying to steal said baby. Turns out it was a baby doll. FML
Today, I found a baby in a cradle on my doorstep. I was shocked that someone would do this, so I picked it up and uncovered the baby. It was actually a rudimentary stink bomb that went off in my face when I uncovered it. FML
Today, I saw a shady looking customer carrying a very suspicious looking baby stroller with a blanket on top of it. Thinking they were shoplifting, I stopped them before they walked out of the store and snatched it. The attachable car seat came off and there really was a baby in there. A real live crying baby. FML
Today, I passed a car, and heard a baby crying in the back seat. It was hot and no one was around. All the doors were locked so I broke it with a rock, cutting my arm and setting the alarm off. Only to find out that it was a realistic baby doll. I have to get 7 stitches and pay for the window. FML
Today, I was babysitting to make a few extra dollars. While changing one of the kid's diapers, I turned around to find the other kid gone. I turned back around frantically, only to get poop flung at my face. I guess I found him. FML
Today, when I went to pick my kid up from daycare, I found out that he had run away. The rest of my afternoon consisted of me screaming his name, looking for him. I then returned to the daycare center. He thought it would be funny if he hid in the trash. FML
Today, I was babysitting a 5 year old boy. When I was on the phone with my mom, he called 911 and started to cry. When I got off the phone the police were at the door. It turns out that the "emergency" was that the VCR was not working. FML
Today, it was an unusually hot day and I saw one of my friends walking down the street carrying a large bag. I stopped and asked if he needed a ride. When he got in, I noticed a horrible stench. He then told me he'd just been dumpster diving. FML
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Top comments
Aelaena 6
You should have looked inside because if there really was a baby I would have went straight in, not wait for the cops.
redbluegreen 41
You should've checked mate, but your heart's in the right place. I think. If it was a real baby, it could've died between the time you heard it and the time the police came in.
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Comments (342)
tomarino13 0
You just left it there and didn't pick it up?!?!?!?!?!? WTF?!?! It could have been a real damn baby!!
live1laugh2love3 0
people people it would be contaminating evidence if she took the baby out.. i would probably check and make sure it was okay..but calling the cops ASAP was the right thing to do
lbg513 0
I know it's been said by many others before that trying to jump in and be a hero would probably harm the baby more than just waiting it out, but I also just realized something else that I can't believe none of you brought up: if the baby was crying, there's no way it could've been suffocating. You need air to breathe, thus to cry, so if a baby was crying loud enough that someone walking by could've heard it - the infant was not in fact in any danger of suffocating. Now, if the cries had lessened before the officers got there, and started to sound like the baby was struggling - that's a different story. Not that I'm necessarily trying to insult the nay-sayers; as a mother - I too doubt that I would be able to just wait patiently for the cops to get there, regardless of whether the baby's crying was still strong. But that doesn't mean the OP did the "wrong" thing - in fact, I'd bet if this were a real situation with a real child - the OP probably would've been commended for calling and waiting for the appropriate help before possibly making the situation any worse. I'm just pointing out that you are all kind of silly to bring up suffocation when the facts of the situation blatantly contradict that particular outcome.
LittlexoMe 0
Hah It was a prom-night dumpster baby!!
lifeneeds 0
#20 How would trying to grab a baby out of a dumpster almost kill it? #307 Patton Oswalt on Lewis Black's Root of all Evil- Have a baby at the prom, dump it in the trash! OP fail
rockenrobyns 3
lamo. kinda stupid, shoulda checked first but that's a win
c3ns0r3dn4m3 0
i agree with #1 at least you cared.
ceisfu 0
wait, so you thought there was a baby in the dumpster, & you left it there the whole time while waiting for the cops to come? were you afraid of getting dirty? or did you think maybe they had special pulling-babies-out-of-dumpsters training, & wanted to leave it to the experts? are you a horrible person, or is this post just as fake as it sounds?
tari_joon 0
Hahaha I agree with #309, as if you didn't try and see/rescue the 'baby' from the dumpster.
godyourethick 0
I call bs.