Miscellaneous: Isn't it one inch? - FML

Isn't it one inch?

By Anonymous - 24/08/2025 02:00

Today, we were watching old Kung Fu movies and I said how ridiculous the two inch punch was. My dad claimed he taught it to himself years ago, so like an idiot I dared him to prove it. Two inches later I was across the room gasping for breath. I guess it’s real then. FML

I agree, your life sucks 86

You deserved it 512

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Same thing different taste

By DJ - 07/04/2013 18:52 - Ireland - Dublin

Today, I started training for a charity boxing match. When I got home and walked through the door, my dad punched me in the stomach to test my reaction time. As I lay on the floor trying to catch my breath, he said my reaction time was "terrible". FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 634

You deserved it 5 890

Fisticuffs

By Anonymous - 16/01/2022 14:01

Today, I got proof that martial arts don’t really work, I’ve supposedly worked my way up to my black belt, and I challenged my brother to a match. He floored me with one punch before I could do anything, and he only weight lifts to keep in shape, he’s never done martial arts in his life. FML

I agree, your life sucks 314

You deserved it 1 384

By Jakesssss - 10/04/2015 01:02 - United States - Hudson

Today, I showed a kid how to knock somebody out for self defense. He then knocked me unconscious with the same method I'd just showed him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 287

You deserved it 10 835

'Murica

By Maryann - 08/02/2018 01:30

Today, I told my dad I started taking jiu-jitsu lessons. He responded by laughing and saying, "Martial arts are for pussies, you should just get a gun." FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 353

You deserved it 656

By blahblah - 27/06/2013 01:57 - United States - Richardson

Today, I decided to try Karate. In an attempt to roundhouse-kick a hanging boxing glove, I knocked over a lamp, lost my balance and pulled down my curtains. My neighbor then looked through the window, started laughing and yelled, "KUNG FO POWA!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 421

You deserved it 35 757

Iron Man

By Anonymous - 14/12/2009 23:46 - United States

Today, my little brother punched me in the stomach. When I didn't flinch and he asked me why, I thought it would be funny to tell him I was Iron Man and that nothing could hurt me. Two seconds later, he took a step back and kicked me in the nuts as hard as he could. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 683

You deserved it 38 502

By Karate Kid - 25/05/2012 06:29 - Australia - Surry Hills

Today, I was showing some new karate moves in the park to my friends. I mimed a punch behind a girl walking past to show my technique and control, but she must have seen me. She turned around and kicked me in the stomach. To add insult to injury, her technique was better than mine. FML

I agree, your life sucks 6 979

You deserved it 35 418

By theregoesmyspermcount - 02/08/2009 22:45 - United States

Today, my 250 lb ex-Marine dad announced he was going to start randomly punching me in the crotch, without warning, to "improve my reflexes." FML

I agree, your life sucks 69 869

You deserved it 5 707

Childish

By jade - 11/01/2022 17:01

Today, I was talking to a guy when he pointed behind me and said, “Hey, what’s that?” I looked behind me and he burst out laughing, saying he “can’t believe I’m so stupid that I still fall for that old trick.” We were having a conversation, not a physical fight. FML

I agree, your life sucks 949

You deserved it 157

Everybody was Kung Fu fighting!

By Anonymous - 23/08/2019 12:00 - United Kingdom - Cardiff

Today, my Kung Fu-trained father found out that my boyfriend, a Krav Maga student, got me pregnant. Since I'm only 17, my dad got extremely mad. Several broken bones and a few ambulances later, it looks like a Steven Seagal movie happened in my house. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 730

You deserved it 1 032

Next

Top comments

juggalo2 21

Sunday 24 August 2025 17:40

My girlfriend assures me that two inches of thrust is plenty.

BurnInDemonFire 35

Monday 25 August 2025 1:53

Didn't Bruce Lee prove it worked on multiple occasions?

Comments

juggalo2 21

Sunday 24 August 2025 17:40

My girlfriend assures me that two inches of thrust is plenty.

tiptoppc 19

Monday 25 August 2025 6:53

That joke took off well…

BurnInDemonFire 35

Monday 25 August 2025 1:53

Didn't Bruce Lee prove it worked on multiple occasions?

FluffythePink 23

Friday 29 August 2025 1:27

There's a trick to it but once you learn it... Yeah, it's real.

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Today, my mom saw me holding a plant and told me to walk around with it, to replace all of the oxygen I waste. FML

I agree, your life sucks 921

You deserved it 233

Today, I had to call a coworker to the office via the store intercom. The damn thing didn't turn off properly and everyone heard me say, "I hate that asshole. Just be where your dumb ass should be." I realized my mistake a few seconds before my manager stormed in and threatened to fire me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 205

You deserved it 27 100

Today, my 6 year-old daughter got mad at me for not buying her yet another expensive doll. I had to pull her away, and she started screaming for help. The next thing I know, another shopper puts me in a chokehold and calls for security, all while my daughter smirks. FML

I agree, your life sucks 53 082

You deserved it 6 212

Today, I finally got a "sexy" pic from my boyfriend. It was his man boobs. They're bigger than mine. FML

I agree, your life sucks 883

You deserved it 240

Today, I had a job interview today after being unemployed for months. I left early but a stranger's giant SUV had me blocked in for over 2 hours. I called to explain the situation in the hope that I would be given another interview slot later in the week. I was told I clearly didn’t want the job. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 203

You deserved it 232

Today, my girlfriend contacted me. She said she'd thought over her feelings over our temporary break in the relationship, and she wanted to try again. Being my stupid, self-loathing self, I asked her so many questions on if she was sure or not that she went back into doubt and revoked the offer. FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 552

You deserved it 11 531