Today, I heard a baby crying while I was walking down the street. I walked around until I found it. In a dumpster. I immediately called the cops, completely freaking out. When the cops came, they pulled the baby out of the dumpster. It was a plastic baby doll. FML
Collection
Wild Nights Out
Last call, bad decisions and 3 a.m. texts you'll regret until noon. Cheers.
Same thing different taste
Baby steps
Today, my class got baby dolls for the week to teach us how to be good parents. After school, I went to the store with my mom with the baby doll. When I got home, I realized that I left the baby doll in a shopping cart. FML
Smooth delivery
Today, I was found out when I was a baby, I was abandoned in a dumpster. FML
Get back here!
Today, I saw a lady with a stroller in the park. She stopped at the water fountain and got a drink, then left without her baby. I ran to the stroller and started rolling it after her. Two grown men attacked me, accusing me of trying to steal said baby. Turns out it was a baby doll. FML
Abandoned
Today, I found a baby in a cradle on my doorstep. I was shocked that someone would do this, so I picked it up and uncovered the baby. It was actually a rudimentary stink bomb that went off in my face when I uncovered it. FML
Mall cop
Today, I saw a shady looking customer carrying a very suspicious looking baby stroller with a blanket on top of it. Thinking they were shoplifting, I stopped them before they walked out of the store and snatched it. The attachable car seat came off and there really was a baby in there. A real live crying baby. FML
Good samaritan
Today, I passed a car, and heard a baby crying in the back seat. It was hot and no one was around. All the doors were locked so I broke it with a rock, cutting my arm and setting the alarm off. Only to find out that it was a realistic baby doll. I have to get 7 stitches and pay for the window. FML
Today, I was babysitting to make a few extra dollars. While changing one of the kid's diapers, I turned around to find the other kid gone. I turned back around frantically, only to get poop flung at my face. I guess I found him. FML
Bad boy
Today, when I went to pick my kid up from daycare, I found out that he had run away. The rest of my afternoon consisted of me screaming his name, looking for him. I then returned to the daycare center. He thought it would be funny if he hid in the trash. FML
Today, I was babysitting a 5 year old boy. When I was on the phone with my mom, he called 911 and started to cry. When I got off the phone the police were at the door. It turns out that the "emergency" was that the VCR was not working. FML
Hobbies
Today, it was an unusually hot day and I saw one of my friends walking down the street carrying a large bag. I stopped and asked if he needed a ride. When he got in, I noticed a horrible stench. He then told me he'd just been dumpster diving. FML
Top comments
Aelaena 6
You should have looked inside because if there really was a baby I would have went straight in, not wait for the cops.
redbluegreen 41
You should've checked mate, but your heart's in the right place. I think. If it was a real baby, it could've died between the time you heard it and the time the police came in.
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (342)
bigraws23 0
FML??? That's great new's!!! That's awsome.
smnc 0
at least yuu tried to help ! bt yuu shoulda pulled it out before callinq the cops anyway .
Adriennerox211 0
Pretty realistic, hm? O.o ;]
cmac86 24
well at least you were thinking of doing the right thing.
SAM5000 0
ur r a lucky bitch ur not in jail rite now
sawammie 0
sorry if some one already said this (I'm not looking through all the comments) but maybe a teenager had the stupid baby think it over doll and couldn't take it's crying anymore and threw it out the window... I know I wouldve done that to mine if I wouldn't owe the school $400
hawxfighter_fml 0
it could be the ones that make those noises
bxenon 0
i agree with #1 and thats ok because you were just being concerned on what could if been a big problem
OneDayAttaTime 2
I'm glad you at least did something too many ppl these days turn their head the other way rather than help out
moolatte 0
Calling the cops and finding out it's a doll is a billion times better than ignoring the crying, then finding out that it was a real baby.