Today, I heard a baby crying while I was walking down the street. I walked around until I found it. In a dumpster. I immediately called the cops, completely freaking out. When the cops came, they pulled the baby out of the dumpster. It was a plastic baby doll. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my class got baby dolls for the week to teach us how to be good parents. After school, I went to the store with my mom with the baby doll. When I got home, I realized that I left the baby doll in a shopping cart. FML
Today, I was found out when I was a baby, I was abandoned in a dumpster. FML
Today, I saw a lady with a stroller in the park. She stopped at the water fountain and got a drink, then left without her baby. I ran to the stroller and started rolling it after her. Two grown men attacked me, accusing me of trying to steal said baby. Turns out it was a baby doll. FML
Today, I found a baby in a cradle on my doorstep. I was shocked that someone would do this, so I picked it up and uncovered the baby. It was actually a rudimentary stink bomb that went off in my face when I uncovered it. FML
Today, I saw a shady looking customer carrying a very suspicious looking baby stroller with a blanket on top of it. Thinking they were shoplifting, I stopped them before they walked out of the store and snatched it. The attachable car seat came off and there really was a baby in there. A real live crying baby. FML
Today, I passed a car, and heard a baby crying in the back seat. It was hot and no one was around. All the doors were locked so I broke it with a rock, cutting my arm and setting the alarm off. Only to find out that it was a realistic baby doll. I have to get 7 stitches and pay for the window. FML
Today, I was babysitting to make a few extra dollars. While changing one of the kid's diapers, I turned around to find the other kid gone. I turned back around frantically, only to get poop flung at my face. I guess I found him. FML
Today, when I went to pick my kid up from daycare, I found out that he had run away. The rest of my afternoon consisted of me screaming his name, looking for him. I then returned to the daycare center. He thought it would be funny if he hid in the trash. FML
Today, I was babysitting a 5 year old boy. When I was on the phone with my mom, he called 911 and started to cry. When I got off the phone the police were at the door. It turns out that the "emergency" was that the VCR was not working. FML
Today, it was an unusually hot day and I saw one of my friends walking down the street carrying a large bag. I stopped and asked if he needed a ride. When he got in, I noticed a horrible stench. He then told me he'd just been dumpster diving. FML
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Top comments
Aelaena 6
You should have looked inside because if there really was a baby I would have went straight in, not wait for the cops.
redbluegreen 41
You should've checked mate, but your heart's in the right place. I think. If it was a real baby, it could've died between the time you heard it and the time the police came in.
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Comments (342)
madeingeorgia 0
Yeah, I agree with everyone else! If I thought for one second there was a baby in there, I would go trash digging before I made time to call the cops!
iMuffinTop 0
You'd think you would look, but noooo.
fyl11122233 0
powned, by a baby........doll!
carly_rose_02 5
At least you did the right thing. Even though it wasn't a real baby, that's much better than if it was. Whether or not it was a real baby, you're a hero because you actually did something.
henry14a 0
wow the cops probably chewed u out
fatass_ninja 0
mabye you should have taken the "baby" out of the filthy dumpster while waiting ten minutes for the cops to arrive. I geuss common sense isn't so common.
MRVOlivia 22
That SUCKS dude.......Honest mistake "^_^ ok FYL
ZielZone 4
Thank you OP, for lowering the expectations of stupidity to yet another level
islander03 5
so if it were a real baby you wouldn't pull it out? Maybe if you had acted with common sense you would have saved yourself the embarassment and wouldn't waste the officers' time.
funny_but_sad 4
One time my step sister put a baby doll about the same size as my baby sister face down on the floor, I took a quick glance at it and for a minute thought it was my baby sister, then I was relieved that it wasn't.