Today, I had to stay late at work. My husband made me take a video of myself punching out, to prove I wasn't cheating on him. FML
Collection
Wild Nights Out
Last call, bad decisions and 3 a.m. texts you'll regret until noon. Cheers.
Today, before I went to work, I wanted to kiss my wife goodbye while she was asleep, She punched me. FML
Today, I was watching our home security cameras from work when I saw my husband get home and grab a beer. I activated the camera microphone and told him to put it back and fold the laundry. He flipped off the camera, chugged the beer, and started jacking off on the living room sofa. FML
Today, my wife woke me up, saying her husband was home and that I needed to escape before he caught me. I was still struggling with the window when I remembered I’m her husband and she was laughing, filming my half-asleep ass trying to escape from being caught by myself cheating with my own wife. Duh. FML
Today, as soon as I got home, my husband said he was hungry and that I needed to cook. I flipped my shit and yelled at him for a good half hour. Later, he pulled out his phone and showed me videos of me doing the exact thing to him, asking him to do things the second he walked in the door. FML
Today, my boss left early, so I decided to take an extended break and run home. I found my wife in bed with my boss. I got fired for leaving work. FML
Today, I came home upset about the sexism in my work place. I just wanted to be alone, but my husband insisted we talk about it. I noticed he kept looking over and one of his hands was moving. He was playing video games the entire time I was spilling my guts. FML
Today, I received frantic calls and messages from my husband wondering where I was and if I was cheating on him. I was in the same house as him. FML
Today, I was beating the hell out of one of the most useless employees ever. I mean really laying into him, all while telling him for the umpteenth time how to do his job right. Then my husband informed me I was hitting him in my sleep. FML
Today, I slept through my alarm and got fired for being late for work. My husband had changed my alarm to go off at 8:00PM instead of 8:00AM all because apparently, I was suspected of “conspiracy to cheat” by liking a male friend’s selfie on Instagram. FML
Today, while arm wrestling with my boyfriend, I had to pretend he beat me. FML
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Top comments
brocode86 0
does he have reason to believe you are cheating?
perdix 31
He's just stalling so he can get rid of his girlfriend before you get home. It's usually guilty people who are the most suspicious of their spouses.
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Comments (139)
tylersign 11
Should have sent him a video of **** instead. See what his reaction would be.
cnkk07 8
I was going to type a witty comment in response to yours but then I saw a hairy worm out of the corner of my left eye and completely lost track of what I was going to type.
xcowboys 0
I believe the proper name for it is the "Common Llamapillar", if im not mistaken.
minniemouse61 0
Accused Of Cheating For Working .... Laaaame (:
2ndSucks 15
What's with the capitals?
HideouslyHuman 10
Does It Bother You?It Bothers Me Too.
Batman846 0
Well he's afraid of losing you, he's just human you know.
un1corns 15
Well, acting like a paranoid idiot is another great way to lose her...
sillymcjews 0
heh heh noob
mALs00 5
You must be a great girlfriend if he wants that reassurance.
blowntegdb8 5
Funny poster didn't get that. Ahhh details
walterism 0
cheat on him during the day then :)
disturbedrox11 17
Or just don't cheat on him at all
2ndSucks 15
Relationships rely heavily on trust. That's not healthy.
perdix 31
Make sure you don't make a shit punch, you feeble asshole.
FriscoKidz 10
Thumbs up because I see what you did there.
disturbedrox11 17
Why do people always say 'I see what you did there'? It would be more interesting if we all thought of something of our own to say
SirEBC 7
Hello, Disturbed. Allow me to be the first to introduce you to the Internet. We hope you enjoy our humble abode. Here is a key lesson you must learn to thrive here: you cannot fix stupid. If you try, you will fail. If you try again, you will fail, again. Welcome!
leadman1989 16
I have observed your actions... I am amused.
yadisingh 5
Why do you question everything? ^ I've seen like 4 of your comments and they all start with 'why do people'. Let it be lol. Shit's not gonna change because you point it out.
TheNewGuy03 29
99: or alternately: "I seent that shit." |the kid|
disturbedrox11 17
100 sorry. Although I've actually only had two comments that were anything like that. But ill make sure I don't have any more that ask anything about why people do things since that's obviously something stupid to say
captainbj2 0
Because it is a common saying....
nativepimp 1
That's honestly not that bad. Ive seen way worse trust issues before
stephen0819 0
Shouldn't be such a ho-ski