Intimacy: Today, I had to sit outside with nothing but a large bottle of...

By piliseep - 03/10/2017 04:30

Today, I had to sit outside with nothing but a large bottle of wine to keep me company and no way to block out the sounds of my cousins loudly having sex with my two roommates upstairs. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 114

You deserved it 381

Christmas: Snowy Joys and Blunders
Enjoy Christmas stories where unexpected gifts and family reunions create lasting memories... and fun! More…

Previous FML Next FML

Same thing different taste

By Anonymous - 03/01/2009 16:48 - France

Today, I can hear my parents having sex in the next room. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 692

You deserved it 4 395

By dammitall - 15/05/2009 18:49 - United States

Today, I was in a bathroom stall peeing. Shortly after, I heard a couple enter the bathroom, both extremely drunk. They then had sex standing up against the stall I was in, blocking my only exit. I had to sit, wait, and listen as both parties finished. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 427

You deserved it 4 882

Fresh air

By Anonymous - 21/05/2020 02:00

Today, my parents actually kicked me into the back garden and made me sit outside for an hour so they could have sex without having to worry about me hearing them go at each other like a pair of 15-stone rabbits hopped up on Viagra. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 554

You deserved it 418

By holler - 15/09/2011 04:22 - Japan

Today, I had my parents over at my new apartment. As I was telling them how quiet and peaceful my new place is, we could hear my neighbors talking nasty to each other before launching into a full-blown sex ordeal. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 182

You deserved it 3 160

By Scholar - 05/09/2012 16:13 - United States

Today, for the second day in a row, I got to hear both of my roommates having sex, through two closed doors and a hallway. This is as I hit my thirtieth month of involuntary celibacy. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 463

You deserved it 3 952

Annoying neighbors ruin everything

By so much for relaxing - 21/07/2021 06:01

Today, I decided to sit on the back porch for a while to enjoy the nice weather and relax. Unfortunately, one of my neighbors was outside too, having a very loud argument with his wife for about 45 minutes. FML

I agree, your life sucks 972

You deserved it 94

By Anonymous - 19/08/2019 06:01

Today, I had to stand outside the changing room while two of my coworkers had noisy sex. I just needed my car keys. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 066

You deserved it 234

Caught spunk-handed

By Anonymous - 28/07/2020 23:01

Today, I was watching porn in the living room with the volume turned up, because I was under the impression that my family had already left for vacation. It turns out my cousin and his girlfriend were upstairs the entire time. FML

I agree, your life sucks 671

You deserved it 2 221

Fake it til you make it

By freshman - 25/03/2011 23:05 - Canada

Today, to make my dorm neighbours think I'm popular, I blasted music and screamed at the top of my lungs so it sounded like I was having a party. My residence manager slapped me with a noise violation, and demanded to come in to make sure we weren't drinking. I had to explain why I was by myself. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 162

You deserved it 60 227

Boom boom boom

By Anonymous - 24/03/2023 16:00 - Australia

Today, I finally had some alone time to relax and watch a movie. As soon as I pressed play, my neighbor started blasting their music so loud I could feel the bass in my chest. I tried calling the landlord, but they didn't answer. I ended up watching the movie with subtitles while listening to my neighbor's music. FML

I agree, your life sucks 893

You deserved it 127

mt21mt 15

Tuesday 3 October 2017 4:58

Relax, it will probably only last five minutes at the most.

Tripartita 44

Tuesday 3 October 2017 6:08

If only wine bottles came with something that could be used to block tubes like those formed by ear canals… oh well.

Comments

Chazzster 28

Tuesday 3 October 2017 4:38

Well maybe you could have had first go at the cousins?

chubbear 14

Tuesday 3 October 2017 20:28

what the ****

Chazzster 28

Tuesday 3 October 2017 21:50

It was meant as humor - Having first go at his own cousins....

CAT47LOVE 19

Tuesday 3 October 2017 4:41

I would have left and took a walk...not just listen to it...or put some music on lol

mt21mt 15

Tuesday 3 October 2017 4:58

Relax, it will probably only last five minutes at the most.

Tripartita 44

Tuesday 3 October 2017 6:08

If only wine bottles came with something that could be used to block tubes like those formed by ear canals… oh well.

Lobby_Bee 17

Tuesday 3 October 2017 6:16

Why would this be a problem? You got a crush on your roommates?

raven_of_azarath 34

Tuesday 3 October 2017 6:46

Do you enjoy sitting around and listening to others have sex with you in the same apartment/house?

BurnyThroaty 5

Tuesday 3 October 2017 7:43

at least there was wine

kevingirl 6

Tuesday 3 October 2017 15:54

I'm pretty sure you could have found someplace to move to so you couldn't hear.

BadKitty13 28

Tuesday 3 October 2017 19:36

So you could have left and came back when they were done.

davecross 11

Tuesday 3 October 2017 19:58

Why didn't you just join them. This way at least you have some fun also

chubbear 14

Tuesday 3 October 2017 20:30

Yeah because that that's not disgusting :/

Keywords

Money Health Kids Christmas You're fired Work Bodyshaming Customers Fat Love Facebook Am I overreacting? Social Media AITA Embarrassing Poopoo peepee Miscellaneous Relatable Students Technology Education Mental health Romantic Break-ups Annoying Gross Ironic Argument Friends Awkward

The Top

Today, my boyfriend and I decided to try the ice cubes in the vagina thing we'd read about. He kept sticking one in after another and they got stuck. My vagina had a brain freeze for a half an hour. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 787

You deserved it 3 963

Today, I have been getting calls from a weird kid from my school asking for nudes. I asked how he got my number, then found out that my friends put my number on a pole at school that says, "Call Wendy for a good time, she has nice tits." FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 746

You deserved it 3 568

The Top

Today, the owner of the house I'm renting said he doesn't want to pay $4000 to fumigate the home, and that he'll take care of the issue himself. I have killed 30 angry wasps in the last hour. There are thousands living in the walls, but I think their favorite place is my bathroom and my bed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 536

You deserved it 1 025

Today, my husband told me the only reason we're still together is because he can't afford to move out. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 116

You deserved it 3 196

Today, I was woken up by my husband attempting to breastfeed off my lactating nipples. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 710

You deserved it 3 387

Today, my boyfriend kept falling asleep while he was at my house with me. I tried to have sex with him to help wake him up, but he said he was too tired and fell back asleep. Five minutes later, my friend walks in the room with food. He woke up from the smell and got up to get some for himself. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 290

You deserved it 6 318

Today, one of my customer's pipes were blocked. As I went to unblock it, about a handful of used condoms collided with my face. I don't know if I should be disgusted by this or disgusted by my customer. FML

I agree, your life sucks 52 241

You deserved it 4 765

Today, while up in my room getting ready to go out, I thought I heard some trick or treaters knocking on the door. I ignored them because I didn't have any candy. The knocking got louder and longer. I walked downstairs, and noticed that the living room ceiling was falling down onto the floor. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 583

You deserved it 5 090