Anonymous
United States
Today, I had to pick my grandma up because she was drunk, at church, at 9am. FML
Collection
Wild Nights Out
Last call, bad decisions and 3 a.m. texts you'll regret until noon. Cheers.
Same thing different taste
Anonymous
Today, I had to go pick up my mother at 3 in the morning. She had been out drinking and couldn't drive. She parties more than I do. FML
my cheese grater + your dick
Saskatoon, Canada
Today, my grandma said, "I know you don't have any plans tonight. Do you want to go to bingo with me?" I said sure out of pity, and ended up being her designated driver after she got wasted later in the evening. FML
morningbirdie
Drunk level: 2000
Today, I had to pick up my dad because he was too drunk to drive home. Drive his wheelchair home, that is. FML
driverboy
United States
Today, I had to pick up and drive home a couple of drunk bitches. Unfortunately, one of these drunk bitches was my mother. FML
Congrats to me
Canton, United States
Today, the only person in my entire family to show up sober and on time to my graduation was my grandma. FML
Anonymous
Invercargill, New Zealand
Today, during a family reunion, my 89 year-old grandma stood up and drunkenly made a speech about how ashamed I should be of myself for still being single. She then passed out at the table. Half my family got up to help her, the other half whispered in agreement. FML
kylie18xx21
United States
Today, I had to leave my ACT prep class ten minutes in to pick up my drunken father from his best friend's baby shower. I picked him up along with a bill for the damage. FML
nyebust
United States
Today, my grandmother drunk dialed me at midnight to wish me a happy new year. I was already in bed. My grandmother has a better social life than I do. FML
Anonymous
This FML is from back in 2009 but it's good stuff
United States
Harsh but fair
Today, I had to pick up my drunk mom at bar. While we were driving home, she thanked me over and over again, and then said, "Thank god you have no life!" FML
Anonymous
United Kingdom
It's just liquid fun
Today, I caught my mom trying to get secretly smashed out of her brain-box on booze at 8:00 a.m. FML
Top comments
DontClickOnMe 28
Sounds like a cool grandma.
disco2466 8
your grandma is gangsta
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Comments (114)
d101883 0
Lmfao!!! Love this FML! Best FML for the week!!!
TheyCallMeDamien 18
Obviously she got the spirit before she went.
KatieKupcake4195 9
I'd like to adopt your grandmother if I may. She sounds fantastically wonderfully amazingly awesome. :D
EandL_fml 2
awesome! my grandma was fun like that. she thought it was really funny to give random people the finger while driving. go grandma!
XxTarynxX 0
Maybe she had a bit to much holy communion?
blaky 2
Dang hard core grandma lol shes drunk and still goes to church sounds lik shes catholic to me lol just sayin is all
ForeverAloneGal 23
It's synonymous, your grandmother is awesome. Now get off FML and have a drink or five with her.
ilove80smetal 8
Sounds like a kick ass granny. "come pick me up, Jesus wasted me" lol
isminei 6
It's 5 o'clock somewhere.
Calyx_fml 22
It's sad when so many people chime in on how "cool" gramma's abuse of a highly addictive, mentally debilitating and physically toxic drug (alcohol) but disapprove of someone using marijuana, a substance that has not been proved to cause any harm whatsoever outside of the marginally harmful effects of smoke. It just goes to show you how most people really believe the cultural messages they are conditioned to accept regardless of how illogical they are. Its sad that social acceptability trumps actual facts in the court of public opinion. Hypocrites.
maronofhearts 19
It's sad when someone can't let go of the arguments they had over an fml a few days ago and has to bring his drama into a completely unrelated fml to stand on his little soapbox and try to talk like anybody really cares.