Anonymous
United States
Today, I had to pick my grandma up because she was drunk, at church, at 9am. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Same thing different taste
Anonymous
Today, I had to go pick up my mother at 3 in the morning. She had been out drinking and couldn't drive. She parties more than I do. FML
my cheese grater + your dick
Saskatoon, Canada
Today, my grandma said, "I know you don't have any plans tonight. Do you want to go to bingo with me?" I said sure out of pity, and ended up being her designated driver after she got wasted later in the evening. FML
morningbirdie
Drunk level: 2000
Today, I had to pick up my dad because he was too drunk to drive home. Drive his wheelchair home, that is. FML
driverboy
United States
Today, I had to pick up and drive home a couple of drunk bitches. Unfortunately, one of these drunk bitches was my mother. FML
Congrats to me
Canton, United States
Today, the only person in my entire family to show up sober and on time to my graduation was my grandma. FML
Anonymous
Invercargill, New Zealand
Today, during a family reunion, my 89 year-old grandma stood up and drunkenly made a speech about how ashamed I should be of myself for still being single. She then passed out at the table. Half my family got up to help her, the other half whispered in agreement. FML
kylie18xx21
United States
Today, I had to leave my ACT prep class ten minutes in to pick up my drunken father from his best friend's baby shower. I picked him up along with a bill for the damage. FML
nyebust
United States
Today, my grandmother drunk dialed me at midnight to wish me a happy new year. I was already in bed. My grandmother has a better social life than I do. FML
Anonymous
This FML is from back in 2009 but it's good stuff
United States
Harsh but fair
Today, I had to pick up my drunk mom at bar. While we were driving home, she thanked me over and over again, and then said, "Thank god you have no life!" FML
Anonymous
United Kingdom
It's just liquid fun
Today, I caught my mom trying to get secretly smashed out of her brain-box on booze at 8:00 a.m. FML
Top comments
DontClickOnMe 28
Sounds like a cool grandma.
disco2466 8
your grandma is gangsta
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Comments (114)
kshafer08 7
Your grandma is my role model!
badactor009 0
Drunk in church at 9 AM is not cool no matter how you slice it. Then OP has to go fetch her ancient drunk ass from church. A prize moment in family life.
badactor009 0
OP, this event is a prize package. The story works in so many ways. You can tell it to your friends. You can tell this one at school or at work. Its a great happy hour story. You can tell it at church, if you go down that road. I am not sure how your family works, but I would have given anything to have that happen to my Gma. I would have owned her. There has to be a way to work this issue to your advantage. If nothing else, she goes down in flames with the story at every family get together. By extension you can work it on her kids and her brothers and sisters. You gotta share this with your cousins.
Rocky007 15
Go Granny, go Granny go Granny, go.
perdix 31
They should have cut her off after they saw her cutting into the line for wine and wafers over and over again.
tonygar 18
Grandma was hitting the Sacramental Wine, huh?
ALLDAY88 8
Party, party, party, let's all get wasted.
CommanderBalls 10
You have a cool grandma
grenj 8
Hella party on Saturday night then!
Jben7738 0
Lmbo!!!! Too cute!!!