Anonymous
United States
Today, I had to pick my grandma up because she was drunk, at church, at 9am. FML
Collection
Thanksgiving
Questions about your love life, a burnt turkey and the cousin who knows everything: Thanksgiving, a contact sport.
Same thing different taste
Anonymous
Today, I had to go pick up my mother at 3 in the morning. She had been out drinking and couldn't drive. She parties more than I do. FML
my cheese grater + your dick
Saskatoon, Canada
Today, my grandma said, "I know you don't have any plans tonight. Do you want to go to bingo with me?" I said sure out of pity, and ended up being her designated driver after she got wasted later in the evening. FML
morningbirdie
Drunk level: 2000
Today, I had to pick up my dad because he was too drunk to drive home. Drive his wheelchair home, that is. FML
driverboy
United States
Today, I had to pick up and drive home a couple of drunk bitches. Unfortunately, one of these drunk bitches was my mother. FML
Congrats to me
Canton, United States
Today, the only person in my entire family to show up sober and on time to my graduation was my grandma. FML
Anonymous
Invercargill, New Zealand
Today, during a family reunion, my 89 year-old grandma stood up and drunkenly made a speech about how ashamed I should be of myself for still being single. She then passed out at the table. Half my family got up to help her, the other half whispered in agreement. FML
kylie18xx21
United States
Today, I had to leave my ACT prep class ten minutes in to pick up my drunken father from his best friend's baby shower. I picked him up along with a bill for the damage. FML
nyebust
United States
Today, my grandmother drunk dialed me at midnight to wish me a happy new year. I was already in bed. My grandmother has a better social life than I do. FML
Anonymous
This FML is from back in 2009 but it's good stuff
United States
Harsh but fair
Today, I had to pick up my drunk mom at bar. While we were driving home, she thanked me over and over again, and then said, "Thank god you have no life!" FML
Anonymous
United Kingdom
It's just liquid fun
Today, I caught my mom trying to get secretly smashed out of her brain-box on booze at 8:00 a.m. FML
Top comments
DontClickOnMe 28
Sounds like a cool grandma.
disco2466 8
your grandma is gangsta
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Comments (114)
Elizabeth198 1
Someone enjoyed communion too much!
StromyG2 10
Is Betty White your grandma?
csrvet 7
Alcoholic much?
bubo_fml 11
My Gran was a hard drinkin', hell raiser too! She'd tell cops, politicians & businessmen to **** themselves, right to their faces and almost dared them to take a swing! She was totally fearless, had a pit bull's tenacity & I pitied all da fools that ever X'ed her! No surprise she dropped dead of a stroke @ 65, but damn, that woman certainly lived life like a live wire! Even with all her faults, I was proud of her and think she was the coolest Gran that ever lived!!
sarah12041204 0
People who say "you deserve it" on ones like this make me so mad! They don't control what their grandma does
freakypundit 4
One hell of a grandma!
zann_fml 2
As someone who had to drag her 80 year old drunk grandma out of a casino at 9am, deal with it. As long as it isn't normal behavior, laugh about it. Let me tell ya, we had a LOT of laughs at my grandma's funeral about that story! A couple of my cousins weren't there, they were too young to be at the casino, & they were unaware of a lot of the story . . . like her calling my mom (her daughter) & 2 of my uncles (her sons) "stupid assholes!". It is a great story to tell. But like I said, as long as it isn't normal behavior!
marcelo_25 0
That's funny as s***
bubbalou21 0
that's hilarious. makes for a great story at parties.
MizzCraZy 0
Haha i love your grandma :)