By Wubba87 - 27/06/2012 10:32 - United Kingdom - Liverpool
Wubba87 tells us more.
Wow, didn't realise this would get so much attention so quickly. Thanks guys! Not suprised that this has stirred a debate on breast feeding as a whole though... To clarify, my boss has recently had a child (duh!) and has therefore been on maternity leave. This is the first time she's come back to work. I actually work in a research lab, and so my boss gathered myself and a few of my coworkers (a doctor and a PhD student) together in an office to discuss the progress of our research since she's been absent. I didn't mind having the meeting, I didn't mind that the kid was there too, and I definitley didn't mind her having to feed the child (nor do I ever mind when any woman has to do this, but especially in this case because she asked us all if it was OK to feed her before doing anything). But I have never had to work so hard on maintaining eye contact in my life! Awkward!
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That's very professional
Did you hit that?
123- and you still think that this woman risks being fired? Read it again. Note the word 'boss'. She can do what she likes, she's not gonna fire herself!
Actually believe it or not 164 is correct...there is a time and a place to breast feed a child in a meeting with a employee is not one of these times it can be considered indecent exposure and he was right again where he said that most "Bosses" are not actually owners in a proper company the owner dose not act as the boss.
175 - Is your name Forrest Gump? Because you kept running on and on and on…
OP's from Liverpool. What would you expect?
180- Generally it takes more than one or two words to explain things.
Op should tell his boss that he feels uncomfortable with it and if she continues, report her for sexual harassment
My ass is professional. I would have asked that we have a meeting some time when she wasn't busy.
80 - It's a law that women can breastfeed whenever and wherever they want. So she's completely in the right in this situation. She doesn't get to choose when baby is hungry.
It's a law in some places. I highly doubt it's a law everywhere. There has to be a law against it somewhere. I don't know much about the UK's laws, though. Perhaps the Brits here can help me out.
212, she wasn't wiggling her breast at him. It might have been really awkward, but that's because our society teaches us that basic bodily functions are embarrassing and breasts are only meant for sex. Sexual harassment for breastfeeding, come on.
Indecent exposure? How messed up is western culture when using a breast as nature intended is considered indecent yet flashing boobs for bra adverts or in a sexual way isn't.
A breast feeding mother has the legal right to breast feed anywhere in the uk. If someone even tries to stop her they can be arrested or their business fined.
It seems like the boss wasn't even courteous and didn't ask if it was okay. Yes, society teaches us it's not okay, but come on. Taking a piss is natural but how often do you see someone voluntarily taking a piss in public as if it's nothing? The least she could have done was ask, or excuse herself from the meeting. The baby's not gonna explode if she feeds it early or doesn't do it in the same room.
It's not indecent exposure, every woman has the right to breastfeed anywhere she is legally allowed to be.
298, I do agree though that she should have asked if it made OP uncomfortable.
Yeah, especially not an 8 week old but this is where pumping comes in to play. She should honestly still be out on maternity leave. I am a certified beast feeding counselor and if she's a first time mom it takes a while to find your niche and to learn your babies preference. If she is wanting to come back to work--this is where PUMPING seems like a great plan!!
298- OP commented further down that she DID ask and they said it was ok. He's Just complaining about how hard it was to keep eye contact.
Don't know what state this is in but it's considered illegal now if an employer/owner refuses a woman her right to be able to breast feed in public. It's her choice to feed her child by breast, it's natural, has been going on for hundreds of years, they're just breast
although its not professional, it is 100% legal for a mom to nurse anywhere she wants, with or without a cover. And I also call bullshit on the OP because if shes feeding correctly her breast is not "exposed." you would see clevage just like if she was wearing a lowcut shirt and then the babys head, not her whold breast.
That's still unprofessional for a boss to do.
Or OP could grow up and simply look up at her face and not at her breasts, as with all women. Feeding a baby is not sexual harassment. You have to be pretty perverted to think that. Breasts are primarily for feeding babies, just like your mouth is primarily for feeding yourself and speaking. Both body parts can be used in sex, but somehow people are shocked at women using their breasts in their primary function but not at people using their mouths in their primary function.
Breast is best.
Bless those who have big breast! Or Don't mess the lady with the big breast!
All these thumbs down for comments about boobs. What a sad day..
Well the first reply kinda had it coming they tried to rip off of "doesn't matter had sex" which is over used as it is!
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
Show it anywayThe baby can eat without the mother, theres something called Formula, or she should have excused herself.
Not during a meeting. She could've waited like 10 minutes or however long the meeting took
Some people use a pump in advance, so that its in a bottle when their child needs it. Its the same stuff but the mother will not need to expose herself in meeting or other public places.
Before anyone tries to defend by saying breast milk is healthier than formula, the mother can use a pump. That's very unprofessional of the boss.
When the mother uses a breast pump, she still needs to worry about sterilizing the bottles and warming up the milk vs it being ready right then and there when the baby needs it. I'm all for breast feeding but it's not right to have the OP feel comfortable while she's nursing. She could have postpone the meeting until after she dealt with her hungry baby and then resumed it. Very unprofessional on her part.
In fact I don't see why the boss would bring an 8 week old baby to work to begin with... Sounds like it could be very distracting...
Why would OP be uncomfortable? Most breast feeding mothers are very discreet and show nothing, this instance may be different and if you can't be discreet I agree you should not do it in public or at least use a cover.. But you all are acting like every nursing mother just flops her stuff out.. I feed my child formula, btw, but I breast fed for the first 2 weeks, (sometimes in public) and no one knew. if they did, they didn't say anything.
13- You must be a man given your intelligence in breast feeding. The baby is SIX WEEKS. It is to young for formula and needed the nutrients that breast milk supplies. Yeah, she could have withheld the meeting, but babies can demand food at any minute without warning. And I do mean DEMAND. so bite your tongue before you say something stupid.
I think breastfeeding in public is fine, as long as the mother uses a blanket or something to cover herself
166 are you stupid? A baby is too young for formula? So by your logic, mothers who choose not to breast feed let their infants starve until they are old enough for formula. Personally, I have nothing against formula or breast milk. It's a personal choice, whatever. But don't come here and tell me that what that woman did was fine. It was unprofessional and she could have pumped it beforehand.
Breast feeding is better for the baby and the mother for many reasons, and if possible should be done rather than formula feeding. That being said, if you are feeding your infant at work, it is best to pump the breast milk and bottle feed, simply because it is definitely something that could make others (men, for the most part) uncomfortable. Actual breast feeding can wait until you are home or can excuse yourself.
166) you are dumb. I had more to say but it's just not worth it....
148, Why would they say anything even if they did notice? Only the prudest of conservative people would go around telling a woman to cover up while breastfeeding. But in public and in the workplace are two very different things. Much like any other behaviour that makes coworkers uncomfortable, this is completely unacceptable. Men are not comfortable with this, and it's not up to you to tell us what we should or shouldn't be able to deal with.
She can pump the breasmilk out, which would be way more appropriate. And using formula is stupid, PLEASE don't give that garbage to your baby. There's a reason animals produce milk when having a baby. Women don't want to breastfeed nowadays because they're scared of their boobs sagging or being ruined. Although some might have problems with their milk.
^ please shut up. I wasn't breast fed, nor was my sister. My cousins didn't breast feed their children. We all turned out perfectly fine. But thank you for insulting my mother and millions of other mothers out there.
Srsly, 166... a baby is NEVER too young for formula. Formula was designed to be used as a substitute for breastmilk, which is why it contains a lot (not all, but a lot) of the same nutrients that babies need. My daughter drank formula from the day she was born, because she wouldn't latch on to the boobie (I did want to breastfeed, but I couldn't even get access to a pump.. sucks to be poor, lol). She's turned out perfectly healthy and happy. So, take your own advice, and bite your tongue before you say something stupid.. Oh wait, it's a little late for that. ;)
I siriusly laughed so hard at this comment. So, hard.
233- My mom breastfed me because it was good for brain function. She proved her case beyond belief. (; But what if a mother isn't able to breastfeed? If you have breast implants or reconstructive breast surgery where the incision is made around the nipple, it's very likely you aren't able to breastfeed. There's many other cases out there where a baby NEEDS to be fed formula. Don't be quick to judge.
240, Testimonials from a few individuals mean nothing. The reality is breastfeeding is healthier, both for the mother and the baby. Much like we can't get everything we need from pills and shakes as adults, the same applies as children. People survive on all kinds of unhealthy diets, but by breastfeeding your child you are giving it the best chance at proper development.
240- Nobody turned out perfectly fine when they were born (there could be exception(s), but that's irrelevant). There is no doubt about it; breast milk is far more healthy for a child than formula. Don't get so angry next time. They didn't say anything openly insulting, unless someone (such as you) chose to take as an insult. A valid point was made, you made a dumb comment. Let's move on now.
Of course people knew; they just didn't say anything. That's disgusting. Ever heard of finding a bathroom?
I agree with 166. Breastfeeding is healthy and natural. It's how our species has survived to this day. What's unnatural is to feel awkward or get bent out of shape because of it. If you could come to terms with your own sexuality you wouldn't feel awkward because you wouldn't sexualize such a basic nurturing act of humanity. Bring on the thumbs & trolls!
327, You're a girl, your opinion on what males should think is completely irrelevant and you have no right to tell us what we should or shouldn't be accepting of.
She could at least put a cover over herself. I'm all for breast feeding but either wait till after the meeting or cover yourself. There's no excuse for this it's unprofessional of her.
Babies can be formula fed from birth. My baby was premature & my body didn't produce enough milk to satisfy him so for the first 8 weeks he was mostly on formula with some top up of mine then my milk stopped so he's been on formula full time ever since. Don't criticise others for being ignorant if you don't know all the facts yourself.
Or, we could see this as an opportunity for OP to grow up and get themselves a mature reaction, like "ok she's breastfeeding, that's great for the baby, and I simply need to look at her face not her boobs, as with all women."
Some women find it difficult to pump. The baby is 8wo so she hasn't had much time to practise that.
Wow. They make cover ups for this exact thing.
Do you cover your head while you eat? If not then why should a baby?
The baby doesn't know the difference and they're sucking on something that is usually covered.. It makes people uncomfortable. Especially men. I say cover the boobies when feeding the babies in public areas.
I would have just asked to do the meeting at a different time... She can't get mad for you not wanting to be in the room
I'd probably have stared at her tit. If she's making you uncomfortable then you can return the favor.
Or you could be an adult about it.... There's a thought.
It's even more awkward when the lady next to you at church starts breastfeeding WITHOUT a shawl. And when she asks you to hold the baby so she can adjust.
Oh boy. O.o
That is pretty awkward not gonna lie
Your talk couldn't have waited a few minutes?
Well, at least SOMEONE got boob.
Nothing weird to me . . . oh I work at a daycare on the infant floor so never mind. She probably feel very comfortable feeding whenever but not everyone is as comfortable being around that I suppose. Fyl
It's true, as a breastfeeding mom, you don't even think about it after a bit. And really buddy, it's a boob, build a bridge.
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That's very professional
Breast is best.