Today, I had to go into school for the third time this week because my son is claiming he's on bath salts and biting all his classmates. My son is 16. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I had to take my son to the hospital for drinking sunscreen. Apparently, he saw something on the internet that said if he drank it, his body would sweat it out and continually apply it to his body. He's 16. FML
Today, my son thought it was a good idea to spray deodorant into his mouth because he wanted fresh breath. This resulted in him passing out. My son is 17. FML
Today, my daughter spent three hours crying and having a temper tantrum over being forced to have a bath after four days without one. My daughter is 16. FML
Today, I was called by my son's school to pick him up. Apparently, he snorted baking soda, crushed aspirin, and flour because he thought it was coke. Where did I go wrong raising this twerp? FML
Today, someone called the police on me because one of my students was going home with me every day. The student is my son. FML
Today, my son threw the biggest fit in history about going to the dentist. He broke a whole stack of plates, overflowed the bathtub, let the dog loose, and kicked his father when he tried to calm him down. My son is 17. FML
Today, I had to pick my son up from school after he beat the crap out of another student. The words that made him go nuts were apparently, "You mad, bro?" FML
Today, I accused my son of faking being sick. He then blew chunks all over me. FML
Today, my doctor lectured me for 20 minutes about 'drug seeking behaviour' when I asked for more anti-anxiety medication. I need it because my shithead 15 year-old son found my pills and took them to get wasted. I need the meds in the first place because he's constantly pulling shit like this. FML
Today, my son is going through a rebellious phase. He's taken to wearing leather and chains, listening to death metal music all day in his room alone, and screaming at me in public places. He was fired from his part-time job for swearing at customers. My son is 29 years old. FML
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Top comments
dogpfcorn 11
Mother of god.....the zombies are coming
nikininja 4
He is lucky no one took him seriously and took a baseball bat to him!
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Comments (106)
Boob_fml 6
16 and still no girlfriend I see..
supportcommand 17
Your son. Not the brightest crayon in the box. ( prev FML comment ) needs to repeat a grade maybe. Or pretend like you believe him and send him to rehab. Or boot camp.
sdotimas 1
My generation is in BAD shape.
makeupjunkie 5
This is a little disturbing.
Tavers 19
Your picture is waaay more disturbing.
makeupjunkie 5
Thank you.
DocBastard 40
Children are also influenced by the entire world around them, including their friends. It drives me bat-shit crazy when someone tries to blame parents for everything. If a kid doesn't know how to use a fork properly, blame the parents. But children spend more time away from their parents than with them, and much of their behaviour is learned from their experiences away from home.
Ibeatmyself 3
see what happens when u don't hit ur kids
skyeyez9 25
I hope the kids who were bit by your sociopath son beat his ass! That is the only way he will stop hurting others is to know he has a very high chance of getting his ass kicked if he decides to violate someone.
congele 6
Hey I just met you, and this is crazy, but I'm on bath salts, and your face looks tasty ;)
olpally 33
Sorry 52, but number 9 beat you by over 5 hours with that comment... Lol, nice try.
trulymickeyj 13
Two other people said that....
CombatMayhem 5
You raised a moron.
MaryPoppins88 14
Omg first of all that guy who supposedly was on bath salts while he ate the other mans face actually only had marijuana in his system and FYL indeed for having such a dumbass child