Today, I had to go into school for the third time this week because my son is claiming he's on bath salts and biting all his classmates. My son is 16. FML
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Wild Nights Out
Last call, bad decisions and 3 a.m. texts you'll regret until noon. Cheers.
Today, I had to take my son to the hospital for drinking sunscreen. Apparently, he saw something on the internet that said if he drank it, his body would sweat it out and continually apply it to his body. He's 16. FML
Today, my son thought it was a good idea to spray deodorant into his mouth because he wanted fresh breath. This resulted in him passing out. My son is 17. FML
Today, my daughter spent three hours crying and having a temper tantrum over being forced to have a bath after four days without one. My daughter is 16. FML
Today, I was called by my son's school to pick him up. Apparently, he snorted baking soda, crushed aspirin, and flour because he thought it was coke. Where did I go wrong raising this twerp? FML
Today, someone called the police on me because one of my students was going home with me every day. The student is my son. FML
Today, my son threw the biggest fit in history about going to the dentist. He broke a whole stack of plates, overflowed the bathtub, let the dog loose, and kicked his father when he tried to calm him down. My son is 17. FML
Today, I had to pick my son up from school after he beat the crap out of another student. The words that made him go nuts were apparently, "You mad, bro?" FML
Today, I accused my son of faking being sick. He then blew chunks all over me. FML
Today, my doctor lectured me for 20 minutes about 'drug seeking behaviour' when I asked for more anti-anxiety medication. I need it because my shithead 15 year-old son found my pills and took them to get wasted. I need the meds in the first place because he's constantly pulling shit like this. FML
Today, my son is going through a rebellious phase. He's taken to wearing leather and chains, listening to death metal music all day in his room alone, and screaming at me in public places. He was fired from his part-time job for swearing at customers. My son is 29 years old. FML
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Top comments
dogpfcorn 11
Mother of god.....the zombies are coming
nikininja 4
He is lucky no one took him seriously and took a baseball bat to him!
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Comments (106)
medichick 5
He needs a good ads whoopin
RentaName 15
I guess it's time to buy a muzzle and maybe a cattle prod.
Longshott 4
Don't forget the double-tap
monkiki62 5
Well technically hes teaching kids that bath salts promote cannibalism. Which is true. Hell maybe it will make other kids paranoid of bath salts which is good.
manuel3272001 6
Oh come on!!! Did anyone ever read that the miami guy was NEVER on bath salts?
fatalwish 6
parenting fail niumber 107 what initially is your fualt will still remain your fualt regardless of how you try ad place the blame on others.
squidgaamic 0
Just cause he's 16 doesn't mean he' can't get bath salts or doesn't do them if he is 16 then he's the more likely to do them
xXRaider68Xx 2
Bath salts can be snorted or smoked like meth and they have a similar effect. I know from experience
TheyCallMeDamien 18
LOL!
supasophie99 2
Your son is hilarious.