By Norvi - 14/09/2013 05:51 - South Africa - Pretoria

Today, I had to explain to my mother that faith healing will not work on plumbing. FML
I agree, your life sucks 41 852
You deserved it 3 158

Norvi tells us more.

OP here, to quote a song from Johnny Clegg "these are the days of miracles and wonders" - my mom called a plumber, now to survive the weekend until help arrives.

Add a comment

You must be logged in to be able to post comments!

Top comments

"By the power of god, I command thee to flush!"

...or anything for that matter


jw90 18

Stranger things have happened.

Your life must be pretty interesting then...........

jw90 18

You have no idea

Hey look at the bright side, imagine hearing about 'faith healing' when you are sick. So if you become sick in the future OP, don't tell your mom you want to see a doc. For you already know her response :-P

leprechaun23 15

But it will work on jk

Cancer isn't joking material, 20.

Oh, no? Do me a favor and try googling "Terrance and Phillip head cancer"

BradTheBrony 19

Are you serious? Cancer is almost as funny as 9/11. Almost.

...or anything for that matter

I'm not so sure about that. I know a lady who was healed of her scoliosis during a prayer service. She felt something in her back pop so she went to the doctor the next day and got an x-ray and her scoliosis was gone. The doctor couldn't explain why her spine was suddenly straight. Oddly, no one was even praying for her when it happened. And yes, I actually knew this woman personally before and after this event. It's not a story I heard second hand. Maybe there's another explanation for that medical anomaly, and I'm not arrogant enough to say, "Yes, I know for a fact the power of God healed her," but it sure makes one wonder. And if all else fails, why not try it? It certainly couldn't hurt. But when it comes to plumbing, yeah that's just silly to try faith healing on that. It would be awesome if it did work though. Plumbers are expensive.

perdix 29

#2, I knew a guy with "too-much-money-itis" and a few faith healing treatments relieved him of the pain.

Perdix, I agree that anyone who charges money for faith healing is a con artist. I grew up in a church that taught that prayer could heal people, and the pastor would often pray for people to be healed. Payment was never requested. When I grew up and learned that people charged for faith healing, I was absolutely appalled. Even people of faith who genuinely believe in faith healing admit freely that there's no guarantee or real science to it. That's what makes it miraculous. My friend who was healed of scoliosis didn't pay anyone to try to heal her. If a person is afflicted with something medicine can't fix, I don't blame them for trying anything. And people who take advantage of desperate people are absolutely disgusting.

Hold on a second, why are people thumbing that comment down? They think it's worth charging for, or what?

MerrikBarbarian 9

Actually there is some scientific research into the power of prayer. People in hospital who had people praying for then did in a clinical trial heal faster. The mind has been shown in past to have an amazing ability to heal the body if we believe it enough. The placebo effect doesn't mean nothing happens. There is a documented case of a man with elephantitis which has no cure, having his arm return to normal after a "healer" told him his arm would be better by the following week. I recall he was given sugar pills and told they were treatment. The power of his mind alone cured an incurable disease because he believed in the treatment. So hokey as it sounds, yes there actually is some scientific basis for faith healing working. It's not god, but the untapped power of the human mind to heal the body.

Did you know quite a few children and others have died by relying on faith healing alone when simple medication (which would be easily available if they had visited a physician) would have saved them?

53, I knew there were some documented cases of unusual healings, but I didn't know that there had been a compelling scientific connection between healing and belief. That's very interesting. 54, Yes, I did know that. If you think I advocate relying purely on faith healing, you're wrong. It's undeniable that medical treatment is infinitely more reliable than faith healing. I'm just saying that I know someone who seems to have been healed by faith, and that it doesn't hurt to try faith healing so long as one doesn't also neglect viable medical options or spend money on it.

RpiesSPIES 27

I've a hunch to debunk that 'prayer helps people heal faster' bs. When you're badly injured/sickened, you feel in panic, when you panic, your mind is in a frenzy, when your mind is in a frienzy, you become stressed out. Being stressed out to a degree lowers the strength of your immune system. Praying made those people feel less stressed out about their predicament, allowing their stress to be eased away and immune system to become restored. I've nothing against religion, but stuff like this endangers people's lives far too much to allow people thinking it's right =.=

One of the ways that God heals is by giving ability to doctors. Nothing wrong with adding prayers to that, though.

@60. Wrong. God doesn't give healing ability to doctors, they develop it themselves through years of hard work.

60 - You tell docbastard (or any doctor really) that their ability was given to them by some man in the clouds. Excuse me while I go make some popcorn.

MerrikBarbarian 9

Really I'm being thumbed down for giving a rational explanation for why faith healing and prayer can work? Do people read at all? I'm not religious. I don't even believe in god. However I can't deny the fact peer reviewed clinical studies have shown it can help in areas where traditional medicine can not. It's the same story for new age visualization. People should seek medical help first! However in cases where medicine can not help or as an additive to traditional medicine it has been shown clinically effective. The study was based on people praying FOR a person not the person themselves praying. Stress probably does factor in yes. Believers think people praying for them will help so it reduces stress, but you can do that with other means and not get as effective results. It actually activates the body's ability to heal itself in believers

#23 I have scoliosis, it can barely be cured by doctors and even then it requires a metal rod of sorts fixed to my spine. I highly doubt that she just prayed for it and magically got cured.

Actually, 23. Even if (As stated in your other comment.) faith healing and prayer do help a little bit in a way. Many children and others have died because of faith healing. Parents have been arrested for child neglect because they sat, prayed, and watched as their child slowly died. They didn't take them to the hospital or anything. And prayed to a being we don't have any actual proof of or science behind his existence. Im an atheist, and Im not trying to disrespect anyone's religion, but if anything. Don't you think a doctor or a person with a medical degree would be the best thing to take your buddy or kid to when they're dying of cancer?

74, *shrug* It happened, but you don't have to believe it. I didn't expect many people to believe it. 75, Please see comment 56. What you describe is a rare and extreme example. Most people who believe in faith healing are not like that. People who rely fully on faith healing and allow themselves or their children to suffer and/or die from medically treatable ailments are idiots.

I'm an atheist, but the thumbs down in this seem a little harsh. No one here is suggesting (that I've seen) that faith healing should replace medical treatment. I'm certainly against that notion, so if I'm not offended by the comments, I'm not sure what I'm missing here. The placebo effect isn't anything worth thumbs downing either... We all know that it can work to varying degrees. So I don't understand the thumbs down, as it's a scientific explanation to something previously believed to be the work of miracles. And the scoliosis story if definitely intriguing. I would love to hear theories about how it happened!

RpiesSPIES 27

Season 3 Episode 15 of My Name is Earl could POSSIBLY explain it. Yes, I am too lazy to type out the reason.

87, I try not read too much into why certain comments get thumbed down, but I've noticed that people who comment on FML tend to be very closed minded when it comes to religion and the supranatural, and sometimes are prejudiced or even hostile towards the religious or those who think that religion or belief in the supernatural has merits. In this thread I'd say it's a case of prejudice, as different people seem to have assumed that I advocate faith healing over medicine, even after I explicitly explained that's not the case. They've explained that faith healing has caused death, but they don't seem to realize how highly unusual that is. You hear about people who simply pray and refuse to see a doctor and die as a result, or you hear about the even rarer cases of people who were inexplicably healed after being prayed for, but you don't hear about the hundreds of millions of cases of people who seek medical treatment AND pray and the prayer seemed to have no effect, or if it did, it wasn't noticeable. My father is a very devout Christian who loves to pray. It sometimes got to the point that it was obnoxious how often he wanted us all to pray as a family. But he's also one of the most intelligent, logical, and reasonable people I know. He takes a "it never hurts to ask" attitude towards faith healing. My mother suffers from frequent migraines, and you know what he does? He gives her medicine, then prays that God will take away her pain. And when my brother got appendicitis, he took him to the hospital for surgery, then had us all join hands in prayer that the surgery would go well and that God would help the surgeon and nurses focus so that they would do a good job and not make any mistakes. And nowhere in the Bible that I know of is it forbidden to seek medical treatment. Jesus is said to have healed many people, but even he didn't go around healing people with sprained ankles, broken bones, runny noses, and boo boos. He healed things like blindness, lameness, deformity, and leprosy--things that were impossible to treat then, and are still very difficult to treat even today. And when the woman with the "issue of blood" sought Jesus out for healing, she had already spent years being treated by doctors with no result. Jesus always seemed to know everything about everyone he met, so surely he knew that about her, yet he didn't rebuke her for seeing doctors about her problem. Rather, he commeded her for her faith. Anyway, my point is that the impression that people seem to have about those who believe in faith healing is wrong. Most people who believe in faith healing seek medical treatment AND pray, and that is how it's also done in the Bible. It's just that it's only the crazy people who make the news.

Spider_Web 11

I hope you guys know that faith healing is usually only used for chronic or incurable conditions as a "last resort". It's not like a church would hold a prayer meeting when someone got a headache.

Just about anything can work if you believe it will (have faith in it). I work with a physician that treats many nativeAmericans. If they believe the medicine man's treatment of walking fifty times around the teepee in a clockwise direction will work, it often outperforms thousands of dollars in antibiotics and/or pain meds. I can honestly say I have seen faith, OR the human brain, heal people! Either way, medicine may not be the only answer. Plumbing, however, takes wrenches and putty!!

"By the power of god, I command thee to flush!"

Thou shalt not clog

Wizardo 33

I had to read these in Reverend Lovejoy's voice... it completes it.

maybe its because she is not using holy water?

No 22 taking a dump in holy water would just negate any positive holy effects

It would make a holy shit.

superman21_fml 19


"Flush, flush now... hmmmm...."

Grauncho 27

Great contribution.

lolita88_fml 27

How on earth did she think /faith healing/ would fix something? That's all mind-hoodoo. I know because my grandma's a faith healer who initiated me into it when I was young, gullible and desperate for some form of comfort. Load of rubbish.

MichellinMan 20

It's pretty disrespectful to knock on people's religion practices. (Unless it involves torture...)

Well, that's disrespectful.

37, just because it is someone's religious practices, does not make it automatically worthy of respect. Faith healing is one of those things that are not worth respecting. People have died because others thought that faith, rather than modern medicine, would save someone.

lolita88_fml 27

Well that's my opinion, which you can disrespect if you want. I grew up with this faith healing nonsense and it's never done anything for me so if I believe it's mind-hoodoo then I can go on believing it. No one has to believe me or listen to me and I wouldn't make them.

lolita88_fml 27

@43 Sweet holy ****, someone with sense. You're so right. To be honest, I don't even think my grandma believes she heals people. People sometimes just need to talk and have someone light some incense and play music to relax them, to make them feel a little less hurt/upset/sore by having someone show they care. I firmly believe though, that faith healing does NOT cure physical ailments. Putting your hands on someone does not fix a broken bone or seal up a laceration. But, the mind can cure pain and help the body fix itself. The MIND, not someone's freaking hands on some part of you.

MichellinMan 20

All I'm saying is that you should respect what people have faith in. Just because someone exercises false practices doesn't mean you should judge them. It's whatever makes them happy so leave them be.

You're so wrong #46. I literally can't believe all I'm reading. It's not all mind hoo-doo, I have seen people be healed from pretty messed up injuries or natural sicknesses. I've been there and witnessed when bones were healed, and lacerations can be healed immediately. I agree some injuries my be from a positive mind, but God has made himself known to me.

Healed from a positive mind*

Maybe she's just trying to faith heal your brain so you discover your love for plumbing?

That's what I was thinking! Maybe this is OP's mom's way to get him to fix the fuggin' toilet!

HeadlessSparrow 20

Faith in a plumber would have fixed the problem!

You should prey for your mother.

DrownedMyFish 18

She should hunt down and kill her mother?! Isn't that a little harsh?


That's because you don't have any faith! Imagine the look on your face when the jehovas witnesses who knock on her door fix her plumbing problem over a chat and a cup of tee. The jokes on you OP!

THAT'S what I'll do next time they come over!

WTF? 'Nuf said!

*poop doesn't flush* May the power of christ compel you!

It's not an exorcism.

An exorcism of a different kind.

DFresh503 8

I believe one is necessary, as that is concentrated evil coming out of your backside!