Miscellaneous: Today, I had to explain to my boyfriend that a tornado is not...

By facepalm - United Kingdom

Today, I had to explain to my boyfriend that a tornado is not the same thing as a hurricane. I couldn't convince him, and he still won't talk to me. FML

I agree, your life sucks

29059

You deserved it

3789

Favorite

Miscellaneous

Proactive

Commando

Mother of the year

By Not Worth a Lunch - United States - Durham

Today, my boss told me they were letting me go because they "could no longer afford to pay me." Never mind the catered lunch they had the day before, which cost more than a week's worth of my salary. FML

I agree, your life sucks

34485

You deserved it

2490

Favorite

By bakerysux - United States - San Antonio

Today, at work, a customer cried because the cake I made her was not "exactly" the same as the display. I'm the one who made the display and it was the same but the display cake had faded a bit, since it had been there for a month. I'd mentioned this to the customer when she placed the order. FML

I agree, your life sucks

31413

You deserved it

2204

Favorite

By sastgamer - United States - Minneapolis

Today, I asked about 30 students and 3 of my teachers to sign my yearbook. So far, only my math teacher agreed to write in it. He wrote, "You need to try harder next year." FML

I agree, your life sucks

12316

You deserved it

1759

Favorite

By geekyteendisaster - United States - Littleton

Today, my crush finally asked me to homecoming. I told my best friend, thinking she would be happy for me. Now we are in a big argument and she won't talk to me because I have a date and she doesn't. FML

I agree, your life sucks

3169

You deserved it

257

Favorite

By Anonymous - 22/1/2021 00:01 - Australia

You tried

Today, my colleague was wearing a beautiful dress. I decided that I had to go over and compliment her. As I walked over, my coffee cup flew out of my hand and onto said dress. She had to go home and change, and my boss had to cover for her. FML

I agree, your life sucks

869

You deserved it

373

Favorite

By Username - France

Ticklish

Today, I was rubbing my lips against my boyfriend's lips when I said, "Your mustache tickles" in a sexy tone. His response was, "So does yours." FML

I agree, your life sucks

26382

You deserved it

32508

Favorite

By RustyRuski - United States - Greenwood

Today, my boyfriend told me that we need to talk. I think he dumped me, but I'm not sure, because he muttered it in Russian and quickly left. FML

I agree, your life sucks

45377

You deserved it

3638

Favorite

By emliv12 - Australia - Melbourne

Today, my grandmother told me my favorite top had a permanent smell of BO, despite my constant deodorant use. I wear the top to work just about every shift. I now realize all the weird little comments my coworkers have made are actually hints to go take a shower. FML

I agree, your life sucks

9652

You deserved it

28618

Favorite

By meggiemouse - United States

Today, marks the seventh day of having my nose pierced. I'd done everything I was supposed to do, even sleeping with a band-aid over it. This morning, I woke up to my piercing being ripped out by my pillow, and the band-aid nowhere in sight. FML

I agree, your life sucks

33707

You deserved it

14367

Favorite

By waymoreiwanted - United States - Ashland

Today, I opened up a snapchat from my best friend. I received a full and detailed view of her and her boyfriend having sex. All I wanted to know was how her Valentine's Day dinner went. FML

I agree, your life sucks

56810

You deserved it

9583

Favorite

By tmac05 - United States

Today, the waiter farted while I was on a date. My date thought it was me. FML

I agree, your life sucks

33757

You deserved it

2991

Favorite

By Anonymous - United States

Today, I cleaned my house after a big party. Everything was great when my parents came home. Except for the bottle of hot and spicy mustard next to the shampoo in the shower. No one knows how it got there. I'm busted because of mustard. FML

I agree, your life sucks

13612

You deserved it

41382

Favorite

By Anonymous - United States - Dearborn

Today, as always, I'd be so incredibly happy if my girlfriend loved me even half as much as she loves her cat. FML

I agree, your life sucks

12060

You deserved it

1865

Favorite

By Anonymous - India

Today, I accidentally told my mom to ejaculate the flash drive from the PC. FML

I agree, your life sucks

20440

You deserved it

25915

Favorite

By justabitembarrassed - United States - Chagrin Falls

Today, my boyfriend learned how to somersault. He now thinks that he's a ninja and somersaults into every room. FML

I agree, your life sucks

24758

You deserved it

4787

Favorite

By PapaW - United States - Lehi

Today, I got a new cell phone number and sent a text to my wife. Playing around, I said, "Hey sexy are you alone yet? I'm ready to come over." She responded with, "Hey, yeah he is at work - did you get a new number?" FML

I agree, your life sucks

97186

You deserved it

7080

Favorite

By car trouble - New Zealand - Auckland

Today, my dad refused to pick me up because he didn't want to get off the couch, so I had to walk for an hour and a half to get home. When I finally got home, my dad had gone out to pick my sister up from her friend's house. Her friend lives a 3-minute walk away. FML

I agree, your life sucks

13065

You deserved it

753

Favorite

By Anonymous - United States

Today, I took my two kids to a Christmas festival with a train theme. I spent $24 on conductor hats for them. When I gave them the hats, they threw them on the ground and put the red paper bags they came in on their heads. FML

I agree, your life sucks

25708

You deserved it

7102

Favorite

By gooddriver - United States

Today, I was involved in a wreck. How quickly did the police arrive at the scene? Very quickly, considering he was the one who rear-ended me at a red light. FML

I agree, your life sucks

32654

You deserved it

2074

Favorite

By Couch Potato - United States - Elk Grove

Today, my girlfriend got mad at me because I slept on the couch last night. She also seems to have forgotten that we had an argument last night, after which she stormed into our bedroom and locked me out. FML

I agree, your life sucks

41891

You deserved it

3169

Favorite

By btg - United States

Today, I found out that my girlfriend feeds her boogers to our dog. Sometimes she even makes her do tricks for them. FML

I agree, your life sucks

36089

You deserved it

3501

Favorite

By ughh - United States

Today, my mom read my diary. Then she frantically booked me an appointment with a psychiatrist. FML

I agree, your life sucks

33985

You deserved it

5854

Favorite

By PandaMantis - United States

Today, I sent my romantic interest a sexy text about a dream I had about a "sex gameshow." I sent it by replying to the last text sent. I'm now responsible for traumatizing my 12 year old niece who could only reply, "Like Jeopardy?" FML

I agree, your life sucks

12296

You deserved it

47955

Favorite

By Anonymous - United States

Today, I went to my parents' for the first time in months. Upon my arrival, I found out that I won't be spending the day with them because they've taken a car trip to attend a Sarah Palin book signing. FML

I agree, your life sucks

31260

You deserved it

6057

Favorite

By G-6

Today, I was on the plane asleep. I woke up after feeling the plane jolt and I screamed at the top of my lungs. The little girl next to me told me I was a sissy. Everyone on the plane laughed. FML

I agree, your life sucks

14046

You deserved it

30439

Favorite

By El Jeffe - United States - Salt Lake City

Today, that awesome new dubstep song that I was rocking out to in my car was actually my transmission falling apart. FML

I agree, your life sucks

12839

You deserved it

4366

Favorite

By Zora - Norway - Bergen

Today, while shopping, my six-year-old son threw a tantrum because I wouldn't buy him a video game. I ended up having to grab his arm and leave the store. He screamed that I was kidnapping him, at which point I was socked in the face and pinned to the floor by three bystanders. FML

I agree, your life sucks

41115

You deserved it

3748

Favorite

By mike - United States

Today, I was over my grandparents' house for my grandfather's birthday. For years they would talk to each other in Italian and I could never understand them, so I started to take an online class to teach myself Italian. Now I know all they talk about is how much they hate everything about me. FML

I agree, your life sucks

63944

You deserved it

4478

Favorite

By the fish

Today, I started this show and was really confused what was happening until I realized I accidentally started from the last episode so I basically ruined the whole show for myself. FML

I agree, your life sucks

1692

You deserved it

1261

Favorite

By Ilovelife07

Today, I got pulled over heading home from college. My car was full of my stuff from moving out, and I couldn't reach the glove box. I told the cop this, and asked if he wanted me to go around to the passenger side to get my paperwork. He agreed. When I got out of the car, he pepper sprayed me. FML

I agree, your life sucks

2406

You deserved it

163

Favorite

By lostforlife - United States - Camden

Today, I asked my teenage daughter to read off directions from my iPhone while I drove. She went on Instagram instead. We missed the turn by 32 miles. FML

I agree, your life sucks

32734

You deserved it

6874

Favorite

By omgomgomg - United Kingdom

Today, I was in a rush and had to get changed in a train restroom. While changing, I leaned against the button that opened the door. Not only do train toilet doors open and close very slowly, leaving you half naked for a few seconds, but everyone in the carriage opposite can see clearly. FML

I agree, your life sucks

25186

You deserved it

4160

Favorite

By Noname - Canada

Today, my mother was vacuuming my room and found a towel under my bed. She asked "why does it smell so bad?" I replied "sweat". FML

I agree, your life sucks

15471

You deserved it

38346

Favorite

By bystander - United States

Today, we had our friends over for dinner, one of whom is a psychiatrist. After a few drinks, my drunk wife and the equally drunk psychiatrist began to analyze my various character flaws. FML

I agree, your life sucks

26676

You deserved it

2876

Favorite

By Mr Hawks - France

Today, I decided to put my computer on slideshow mode. Did you know that hidden files are also read when you put slideshow on? I discovered this, as did my entire family, when my naked girlfriend appeared on the screen. FML

I agree, your life sucks

23569

You deserved it

14270

Favorite

By Anonymous - United States

Today, I was chatting with the girl of my dreams, a real heart-to-heart. Everything was going great, and I asked her if she'd like to get coffee together sometime. She immediately backed away and excused herself, mumbling something about not dating left-handed people. Huh? FML

I agree, your life sucks

35302

You deserved it

2679

Favorite

By pointlessperson - Canada

Today, I hung out with a friend who has been too busy to hang out with me in a few months. I decided to make the day super special with fun plans and spent a lot of money doing so. When I got home, her facebook status said "Pointless day, gone to bed". FML

I agree, your life sucks

40689

You deserved it

2977

Favorite

By katie876 - United States

Today, I had a band concert and my mum got kicked out. She screamed "BORING!" in the middle of it. FML

I agree, your life sucks

31068

You deserved it

3439

Favorite

By Eyefreshener - United States

Today, I was at a friend's house. She has one of those automatic air fresheners, and I was amazed when it went off. To get a better look at it, I got real close to it. I saw a button and pressed it. The air freshener went off again, spraying nothing but my eye. FML

I agree, your life sucks

9081

You deserved it

66845

Favorite

By qwertyasdfghzxcv - Canada

Today, I took my dog to the vet and she was diagnosed with obesity. The vet then told me that dogs usually imitate their owners eating and behavior habits. FML

I agree, your life sucks

20586

You deserved it

27200

Favorite

Add a comment

You must be logged in to be able to post comments!

Create my account Sign in

Top comments

By Fruit_Dealer | 9

#3277349 - Monday 12 September 2011 16:02

Did you storm out of the room?

By iAmScrubs | 19

#3277365 - Monday 12 September 2011 16:04

But...but...but... they both swirl.

COMMENTS

By my_usagi | 0

#3277313 - Monday 12 September 2011 15:58

I had a similar conversation with my cousin once lol

opendoorclosed | 8

#3277375 - Monday 12 September 2011 16:06

Trust me, you're better off with him not talking to you... For your IQ's sake.

slushpup9696 | 12

#3277386 - Monday 12 September 2011 16:07

Are you talking to OP or 1???

fakeaccountX | 6

#3277390 - Monday 12 September 2011 16:08

Sounds like he's as stubborn as a mule.

nixter5 | 18

#3277394 - Monday 12 September 2011 16:08

Pshh. What're ya talking about OP?!? Hurricanes are giant tornadoes...like, EVERYONE knows THAT.

abbyelizabeth | 9

#3277432 - Monday 12 September 2011 16:17

Right, because Hurricane Irene is really a fricken tornado.

shannonreneee | 11

#3277552 - Monday 12 September 2011 16:42

Fact is they both can have devastating effects. Shows how psycho mother nature can be.

CTRL_ALT_DEFEAT | 0

#3277595 - Monday 12 September 2011 16:52

I bet she's in a whirlwind of emotions.

Bad1z | 13

#3277604 - Monday 12 September 2011 16:53

i had the same conversation with my friends when i was like 9, i couldn't convince them through

rexgar2000 | 10

#3277798 - Monday 12 September 2011 18:26

no they are not.

Houseofpleasure | 0

#3278746 - Monday 12 September 2011 21:31

Lol me too

PhillyEagles | 0

#3280825 - Tuesday 13 September 2011 3:52

Does your boyfriend perhaps have mental disabilities. I've thought tornadoes and hurricanes were the same before it went mainstream.

LaLince | 40

#5208635 - Monday 3 December 2012 4:59

#15: I totally agree

charcharthunder | 18

#6100084 - Saturday 25 October 2014 22:59

...it's not?

By CountJugular | 3

#3277319 - Monday 12 September 2011 15:58

Move to oklahoma, then to california... He will then not be as much of an idiot

sweetchef420 | 0

#3277567 - Monday 12 September 2011 16:45

Hurricanes don't really hit Cali... Maybe try more like Florida!;)

Lanceeden | 12

#3277765 - Monday 12 September 2011 18:09

Yeah actually hurricanes sort of never hit California. lol. I lived in Florida before and looked forward to the summer for the hurricanes. Wind surfing on skateboards ftw!

usmcUSA | 0

#3278742 - Monday 12 September 2011 21:30

I think he meant move to Oklahoma and see an actual tornado then move to Cali with all the other idiots so he would fit in!

NirvashType0Spec | 7

#3278979 - Monday 12 September 2011 22:41

Hey hey hey stop it 106
Im from cali and not an idiot
Get serious

ZebulonPike | 8

#3279647 - Tuesday 13 September 2011 0:18

The California idiot to regular person ratio is no different than any other state. It's just more noticeable because of the large population.

By chris274 | 8

#3277320 - Monday 12 September 2011 15:59

He's an idiot...

al09cool | 3

#3283222 - Tuesday 13 September 2011 16:39

Ouch ur photo hurts me

sayyestothedress | 24

#5948168 - Saturday 17 May 2014 16:09

I love your photo!

By shutupYDI | 4

#3277322 - Monday 12 September 2011 15:59

date someone smarter.

By sasha_kay | 4

#3277324 - Monday 12 September 2011 15:59

Your fault for dating an idiot I guess.

spez8 | 0

#3277362 - Monday 12 September 2011 16:04

I'm liking hurricane Sasha!

spez8 | 0

#3277377 - Monday 12 September 2011 16:06

You are one stunning individual!

sasha_kay | 4

#3277405 - Monday 12 September 2011 16:11

Damn it, tried to reply to someone's reply and their posts disappeared

tsume24 | 3

#3277713 - Monday 12 September 2011 17:37

that's because admins like to remove every comment they dislike even a little bit. -.-

sasha_kay | 4

#3277761 - Monday 12 September 2011 18:03

Some guy was hitting on me

tsume24 | 3

#3278106 - Monday 12 September 2011 19:51

it happens

ColoradoS | 2

#3278681 - Monday 12 September 2011 21:12

Agreed haha

By Steven696 | 6

#3277328 - Monday 12 September 2011 15:59

That's a clever man you've got there.

By CountJugular | 3

#3277331 - Monday 12 September 2011 16:00

Stupid phone, not cali... Texas

By yumsugarr | 8

#3277337 - Monday 12 September 2011 16:01

Whatever works for him .

MagicallyFat | 12

#3277593 - Monday 12 September 2011 16:51

He's obv a keeper

By upwardSpiral | 4

#3277341 - Monday 12 September 2011 16:01

nice man you got there.....

By Fruit_Dealer | 9

#3277349 - Monday 12 September 2011 16:02

Did you storm out of the room?

brianod | 0

#3277397 - Monday 12 September 2011 16:09

i see what you did there

Splayd | 10

#3449258 - Tuesday 18 October 2011 9:04

Her ears were surely hurting because of his thundering in disagreement.

gman90210 | 18

#5022189 - Tuesday 9 October 2012 8:57

Did she storm out like a hurricane or tornado?

sayyestothedress | 24

#5948169 - Saturday 17 May 2014 16:12

Don't try #163