Today, I had sex with my boyfriend for the first time. After he'd repeatedly told me not to worry about bleeding, and reassuring me that he'd take care of me, he passed out halfway through. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, my boyfriend and I decided to lose our virginity. When he saw blood, he panicked and started crying, convinced that he was bleeding out. FML
Today, I had sex with my boyfriend for the first time. It was also the first time he'd ever had sex. How could I tell? He cried all the way through, and called his parents right after. FML
Today, I had sex with my boyfriend for the first time. Afterwards, I got up to get some water. When I stood up, I fell straight to the ground, my legs were so weak. As I fell, I hit my head on the end table and knocked myself unconscious. My boyfriend laughed at me. FML
Today, I had sex for the first time with my boyfriend. It was his first time too. While in bed, he blankly stopped and stood up and got out a piece of paper from his pocket. Turns out he'd written instructions on what to do while in bed, and forgot what he had to do next. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were about to make love for the first time. The moment my bra came off, he started hyperventilating to the point of blacking out. So much for that. FML
Today, when my boyfriend and I were getting intimate, I got a nose bleed. He gave me a shirt to plug it with and kept going. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were getting intimate. He picked me up and threw me over his shoulder to take me to his room. He wasn't careful enough, and dropped me right on my head, on the hardwood floor. I ended up vomiting and came down with a headache. He still wanted to have sex. FML
Today, my boyfriend of a month and I had sex for the first time. We started in the shower and then moved to his bedroom. He then feel asleep when I was on top. FML
Today, I finally had sex with my boyfriend. I had never gotten so far with a guy, so I was really nervous. He was careful, we tried different positions, "it was fun" and he came. I barely felt anything. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I decided to have sex. I was a virgin and he wasn't. About 30 seconds in he collapsed on me. I thought he was joking around and I started laughing. He wasn't joking. He was done. FML
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Top comments
Krystal3408 32
Well at least you know he cared.
DanBerryKrinkle 4
oh joshua...
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Comments (141)
khaoticpanda 28
But hey... Joshua still got laid.
cryssycakesx3 23
doesn't matter, had sex.
khaoticpanda 28
Hahaha i wanted to say it but i didnt think anyone would get the joke
Uhhhidk 3
Maybe it was the smell?
Keattles 14
He probably thought he was ok with blood, but maybe when it came from down there and it was on his ..... It might have pushed him over the edge. I know it would probably freak me out a little too
Hurmbifrum 14
So you gave your virginity to some guy who you'll probably have forgotten in five year's time. Way to go.
Merylwen 24
What are you even talking about? Do you know their relationship better than they do or are you just a psychic?
limabeans101029 21
...How on earth did you manage to reach that conclusion?
Hurmbifrum 14
There are very few people who are virgins past freshman year, so it is safe to say she's still pretty damn young. Thus, it was retarded of her to have sex with this guy, because the likelihood of them staying together for more than a year or so is extremely slim.
Raesin 21
Very few people stay with the same person they lose their virginity to. I bet your mum didn't lose her virginity to your dad :P I lost my virginity to a guy when I was almost 19 and we were together for nearly 6 years after. But we still didn't stay together. Guess I'm a ****.
limabeans101029 21
I lost my virginity when I was 16 to a guy I've been with for over a year. That doesn't make me "retarded". If it doesn't work out, the fact that I lost my virginity to him won't bother me- it's not anything I could change so I wouldn't let myself worry about it. If OP is over the legal age, she can have sex if she damn well wants. It's not for you to decide.
Hurmbifrum 14
In a way, yeah. Doing that only shows that you have no control. I've been with the same guy for nearly a year and a half, and we've done nothing remotely close to that. Why? We have self-control.
murdersquirrel 15
good for you. other people are allowed to make different choices...did you know that? i lost my virginity at 16, long since moved on, and the thing about virginity is once you lose it, it's really not a big ******* deal. it's just the first time you do it among countless other times.
limabeans101029 21
And? That doesn't automatically make you some saintly person. You're choosing to keep your virginity for a while- that's fine. I chose to lose mine earlier, that doesn't mean I have no self control. I *chose* to do it because I wanted to. There's nothing wrong with that, and it doesn't make me any less of a good person.
Hurmbifrum 14
You 'chose' because you can't control yourself. You have no value in anything, do you?
squideth 18
AHAHAHA oh man 128, what a joke. Get off the internet, kid, and get a life. Someone's sex life has nothing to do with their worth as a person. You're another sexist child who thinks they know better than everyone else. Well, you don't. You're a joke and it's hilarious :D
VoodooPriestess 16
The repeatedly saying not to worry about the blood was his way of convincing himself not to worry.
angelitared 27
That's weird it was that much blood
JoshuasGirl 10
actually it was barely any -.-
anon3345543211 12
If lubricated enough it won't bleed
squideth 18
Wow. This comment section is ripe with kids who know shit-all about sex. Hilarious.
yourlifesucksHA 14
Hahaha how pathetic!!
legalizenow 16
He could have been nervous, especially if it was his first time.
jakethejeep 7
Halfway? Did you keep going?