Today, I had sex with my boyfriend for the first time. After he'd repeatedly told me not to worry about bleeding, and reassuring me that he'd take care of me, he passed out halfway through. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my boyfriend and I decided to lose our virginity. When he saw blood, he panicked and started crying, convinced that he was bleeding out. FML
Today, I had sex with my boyfriend for the first time. It was also the first time he'd ever had sex. How could I tell? He cried all the way through, and called his parents right after. FML
Today, I had sex with my boyfriend for the first time. Afterwards, I got up to get some water. When I stood up, I fell straight to the ground, my legs were so weak. As I fell, I hit my head on the end table and knocked myself unconscious. My boyfriend laughed at me. FML
Today, I had sex for the first time with my boyfriend. It was his first time too. While in bed, he blankly stopped and stood up and got out a piece of paper from his pocket. Turns out he'd written instructions on what to do while in bed, and forgot what he had to do next. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were about to make love for the first time. The moment my bra came off, he started hyperventilating to the point of blacking out. So much for that. FML
Today, when my boyfriend and I were getting intimate, I got a nose bleed. He gave me a shirt to plug it with and kept going. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were getting intimate. He picked me up and threw me over his shoulder to take me to his room. He wasn't careful enough, and dropped me right on my head, on the hardwood floor. I ended up vomiting and came down with a headache. He still wanted to have sex. FML
Today, my boyfriend of a month and I had sex for the first time. We started in the shower and then moved to his bedroom. He then feel asleep when I was on top. FML
Today, I finally had sex with my boyfriend. I had never gotten so far with a guy, so I was really nervous. He was careful, we tried different positions, "it was fun" and he came. I barely felt anything. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I decided to have sex. I was a virgin and he wasn't. About 30 seconds in he collapsed on me. I thought he was joking around and I started laughing. He wasn't joking. He was done. FML
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Top comments
Krystal3408 32
Well at least you know he cared.
DanBerryKrinkle 4
oh joshua...
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Comments (141)
Fuaaad1994 31
At least you didn't bleed, right?
little_one1 14
She bled. It was her first time having sex. Girls bleed when we lose our virginity.
its_timmerrr 7
Actually I didn't bleed when I lost mine. You only bleed if he pokes like the cervix or something
greeneyebeauty9 28
You're 14 & not a virgin? Wow..
emmaps 3
Seriously why do you know this Lil' *****.
CinnamonBunny 16
81 and 86, what you are doing is called "****-shaming" and you should be ashamed of yourselves. Her choices are nothing to do with either of you.
limabeans101029 21
Not all women bleed when they lose their virginity- I didn't.
Exhaling 12
Am I the only one to notice 62's age? A 14 year old talking about losing her virginity. And I haven't even held a guys hand other than my dad's when I was 14.
jazzy_123 20
62, homegirl you're only 14 and you've had sex already?! Geezus! I know it's not so uncommon now a days but damn... when I was your age I thought I knew it all and I didn't! These things make me so sad..
Blink_me26 21
Well he still seems sweet.
8born8 18
The anticipation and excitement was clearly too much for him. Perhaps slow things down a bit and that way the blood rushing from his head to his penis won't cause his body to overload and shutdown. It gets better op, the first time is always awkward, but you'll both find a niche and develop a rhythm comfortable for the both of you. Good luck and happy love making!
Darkblade21 20
Are you retarded? He passed out from the sight of blood, not because his penis took the blood from his head.
Jared900DUmpling 30
Blood from one head to the other head.
8born8 18
46 I'm not retarded, 58 and a whole bunch of other people got what I meant. Thanks to all those who actually have an IQ, can empathise with a girl becoming a woman. The blood rush and sudden light headedness was a joke. If you're going to be so serious, perhaps fml isn't for you.. On here we can be the true twisted minions that we are, but each to their own, so I suggest you go and find yours.
nrevogcmamme 17
Might've been just first time. It's okay OP, there's always next time!
ohnowhyme123 15
That's horrible!
noreia 14
at least now josh knows that doctor/paramedic isn't a job option for him. sorry you had to go through this but there's no need to blame yourself on it... it's normal
dramaelf 37
Still probably did better than most guys their first time.
ahippienamedrae 10
Awwh, well there's always next time... Maybe.
JoJo91_fml 8
oh bloody hell (English Accent) ... at least he tried, points for effort
Mauskau 36
No one says "bloody hell" very often. You don't need to fake an accent ;)
Merylwen 24
Well I say it and I hear it everyday. And it just wouldn't sound right without a British accent. It sounds hilarious with a Northern Irish accent though.
jasminetslater 13
Sounds like something my friend would do. Sorry that happened :(
cryssycakesx3 23
thanks for clearing that up...