Today, I had sex with my boyfriend for the first time. After he'd repeatedly told me not to worry about bleeding, and reassuring me that he'd take care of me, he passed out halfway through. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my boyfriend and I decided to lose our virginity. When he saw blood, he panicked and started crying, convinced that he was bleeding out. FML
Today, I had sex with my boyfriend for the first time. It was also the first time he'd ever had sex. How could I tell? He cried all the way through, and called his parents right after. FML
Today, I had sex with my boyfriend for the first time. Afterwards, I got up to get some water. When I stood up, I fell straight to the ground, my legs were so weak. As I fell, I hit my head on the end table and knocked myself unconscious. My boyfriend laughed at me. FML
Today, I had sex for the first time with my boyfriend. It was his first time too. While in bed, he blankly stopped and stood up and got out a piece of paper from his pocket. Turns out he'd written instructions on what to do while in bed, and forgot what he had to do next. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were about to make love for the first time. The moment my bra came off, he started hyperventilating to the point of blacking out. So much for that. FML
Today, when my boyfriend and I were getting intimate, I got a nose bleed. He gave me a shirt to plug it with and kept going. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were getting intimate. He picked me up and threw me over his shoulder to take me to his room. He wasn't careful enough, and dropped me right on my head, on the hardwood floor. I ended up vomiting and came down with a headache. He still wanted to have sex. FML
Today, my boyfriend of a month and I had sex for the first time. We started in the shower and then moved to his bedroom. He then feel asleep when I was on top. FML
Today, I finally had sex with my boyfriend. I had never gotten so far with a guy, so I was really nervous. He was careful, we tried different positions, "it was fun" and he came. I barely felt anything. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I decided to have sex. I was a virgin and he wasn't. About 30 seconds in he collapsed on me. I thought he was joking around and I started laughing. He wasn't joking. He was done. FML
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Top comments
Krystal3408 32
Well at least you know he cared.
DanBerryKrinkle 4
oh joshua...
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Comments (141)
brandoneyez1 25
Did svu show up at your door? Lol
r00nie 10
wow.. so much judgement here! Not like anyone here was Don Juan their first time.
mkimbee 9
Oh my. A lot of you kids need a bit more sex ed stacked with some lessons in human anatomy.
ogimod 4
sounds like you two are really young; perhaps you should refrain from sex and worry about your education??
limabeans101029 21
What makes you think they're really young?
Larsh 4
Don't choke him so hard next time
Kukurugya 11
it seems like half the commenters are virgins trying to act like they know what's going on
zahidnasir 22
its non of his business though
worldclassrager 41
Better then vomiting right? Maybe next time he'll stay awake...
JoshuasGirl 10
he did throw up... when he woke up
Omniprism 15
It was the excitement. I bet he'd been thinking of this since the first time he met you.
dangermouse2990 19
Nice one Joshua