Today, I had my first astounding orgasm, during which I simultaneously shat myself and vomited. I'm so thankful my new partner was present. FML
Collection
Autumn: Leaves and Laughter
When the leaves fall, the laughter rises. Discover autumn stories as crisp as dried leaves!
Today, I was the first guy ever to give my girlfriend an orgasm. I was also the first guy to make her poop at the same time. FML
Today, I threw up during sex. FML
Today, I discovered after four hours of vomiting that it is very much possible to vomit so hard you can't help but shit in your trousers. My boyfriend is currently staying over, too. FML
Today, I accidentally sharted during sex with a guy I’ve been seeing. I was seriously embarrassed, but he was excited about “new territory we can explore together.” FML
Today, my girlfriend went down on me for the first time. Just as I was reaching climax, my brother raced into the bathroom right next to my door and began to vomit extremely loudly. FML
Today, my girlfriend and I decided to try a new place to eat. On our way home we both had upset stomachs. As we raced into the house we realized neither of us could hold it any longer. Having only one bathroom, I let her go first. She exploded on the toilet and I exploded in my pants. FML
Today, my partner was inspired by 50 Shades Of Grey to try making me orgasm with a full bladder, therefore intensifying the experience. He was right, it was mind blowing. It also made me piss the bed for the first time in twenty-odd years. FML
Today, I had my first orgasm. I also came to the realization that whenever I orgasm I get an uncontrollable case of hiccups for at least half an hour afterwards. FML
Today, out of nowhere, I started violently choking on my own saliva and shat myself in the process. FML
Today, I almost had an orgasm. Unfortunately, he had one first. FML
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Top comments
Ricrad 11
That must've been some GOOD sex 0_0
sweetbliss3 37
oh my goodness. as embarrassing as that was, i hope the guy isnt a douchefaggot and didn't get all freaked out about it. life happens. I would be mortified, but if he was understanding that would definitely help a lot.
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Comments (55)
The_Fickle_Monster 5
ahh, yes. The elusive "Triple-Crown". Its just that your other holes were like, " Hey, want in on this ****** stuff." And boy, did they join in or what!
ARISKomuniszt 24
Like a human fountain.
Bigus1234 6
For the guy, that's a free beer for life story right there. I would even buy him a dinner if he could prove he repeated it more than once!
Murgray D. John 12
Family Guy anyone?!?!
kevingirl 6
Good god...what is wrong with you?
Isa_fml 20
You might want to see a doctor.
BlueSteele220 31
that is why you should prepare before you do the deed..
TheHillfam84 7
A real man would find pride in that and support you and tell you it's no big deal at all and help out clean up. Then not focus on that part afterwards and just say wow that was intense huh as like a funny ice breaker.
ProperPengTing 15
Shouldve had a ring
Kyle Grimes-Ward 6
You’re in the clear now. There’s nothing left to go wrong!