Today, I had my car valeted at my hotel. The manager came out, took my keys, and said the car would be waiting for me in an hour. I was then forced to watch from the lobby as the "manager" sped off downtown. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I decided to splurge and get valet parking at a fancy restaurant. I got out of the car and gave the man my keys and watched as he slowly backed my car into another car. FML
Today, my boss reported to the police that a suspicious car has been parked outside the store late at night. I walked outside and my car was gone. He had my car towed. FML
Today, my manager asked me to escort a VIP and make a fuss over her. Two hours I waited, calling my manager every 10 minutes to check in. He eventually told me he got the date wrong, she’s not coming until Thursday. He then docked my pay for the two hours I was “stood around doing nothing.” FML
Today, I went to get my car washed at one of those places where you can watch through the glass. I watched in horror, face pressed against the glass, as my car went through with the window down. FML
Today, I found my company car wrecked in a ditch. Apparently, leaving it parked on an icy hill all night was a bad idea. I have to pick up my manager from the airport. FML
Today, I dropped my car keys down the elevator shaft at my dorm. I had parked my car at a parking meter, and now had no way to get change out of my car. It took six hours for someone to get my keys, and I now have a $75 parking ticket. FML
Today, I couldn't find my car in a mall parking lot. After 30 minutes of searching, I reported it stolen to the mall security. It turns out that I'd parked it on the opposite side of the mall. Security escorted me to my car, all while giving me pitiful looks. FML
Today, I had a job interview at a restauraunt opening up. One manager hypothetically asked me why I should be hired. I said I was more efficient than most. I left to find I'd locked my keys in the car. It took all the managers to help me get my keys out. FML
Today, I took my car to a car wash, and when I got it back, one of the rearview mirrors was missing. Someone knocked it off and the management refuses to cooperate on who was the thief. FML
Today, I found out the day manager has been illegally entering my apartment when I’m not home. My car was in the shop, so when he saw my parking spot empty, he came right on in. I was just getting out of the shower and was standing stark naked. He didn’t even try to explain. Just smirked. FML
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Top comments
stormchaser24 24
Wow call the cops and give tell them what he looks like. FYL. But you should have checked his ID.
zniltiaC 19
This is why I don't trust valet parking.
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Comments (96)
shadevil75 6
If you didn't call the cops then you're partially to blame.
bubo_fml 11
stiff him on the tip if he doesn't make it back in an hour...
ShyAnn29 15
Even some hospitals have valet parking, and it's free
TooOldForDiss 4
Don't worry, he'll be back. Valet service is a very competitive market. They're always adding new services to ger that competitive edge over one another. He probably took it for a quick wash and wax. Just wait there for him. If he's not back in an hour you know you're getting the ultra deluxe service (a tire rotation and front end alignment thrown in!).
ukrage 1
I'm sure his comeback to that is insurance an medical care are for rich ppl
heyred 11
Bueller? Bueller?
newlove_fml 0
Dang, OP. Thats some tough luck. Huh, imagine trying to get your car replaced or filing an insurance claim (I'm not very experienced in insurance of any kind, so I apologize if I sound like an idiot). It would be funny to explain "my valet stole my car." Funny as in strange, or out of the ordinary.
youshitme 9
'A FML'?!! I think you'll find it's 'An FML', perhaps if you learn to write properly, you might get a good job and be able to afford someone else to park your car.
whorerhorror 6
nobody is perfect like you , sir.
darkmis1 18
Wrong FML.
lmb19 0
You need to leave that man!