Today, I had just finished riding my bike when I ran into the girl I am secretly in love with. While I walked over to her I got an erection through my spandex biking shorts. FML
Collection
Thanksgiving
Questions about your love life, a burnt turkey and the cousin who knows everything: Thanksgiving, a contact sport.
Today, I was on a stationary bike at the gym. I got into a conversation with a very attractive female gym-friend. I felt something cool "down below". I looked down and saw one of my testicles had sneaked out of a hole in my shorts, I quickly looked up only to see her staring at the same thing. FML
Today, an extremely attractive woman from FedEx came to deliver my new phone. I was wearing athletic shorts and had an erection. She looked down and laughed. FML
Today, my girlfriend came over to my house. Hoping to get a little action, I started to make out with her. Unfortunately I was wearing basketball shorts so when I got an erection, all she did was bat it back forth like a cat toy. FML
Today, on my way home from watching a movie with a girl, I began having an erection because I thought I could kiss her goodnight. She dropped me off at home, and with my full blown erection, I walked in front of her car with the headlights on. FML
Today, I realized that I get more turned on by my exercise bike than my boyfriend of 4 years. FML
Today, while riding to the skate park, I noticed a gorgeous blonde walking towards me. She gave me a smile as I passed so I turned and looked behind me to get a second glance. I rode my BMX straight into a light pole in front of a pub patio full of people. She saw it all. FML
Today, I approached the girl I like, hoping to ask her out. Just as I strode up to her, she excused herself as quickly as she could. I then realized I'd forgotten to zip up my pants after going to the bathroom minutes before. FML
Today, I was checking out a gorgeous woman in spandex with beautiful flowing long black hair on the treadmill at the gym. I spent a few minutes just watching her body move and ripple under the material. She turned off the treadmill and got off, only for me to find out that it was a guy. FML
Today, the girl I've secretly loved for years finally noticed me. That is, after I ran over her foot with my truck. FML
Today, I snuck out to go see my girlfriend. When I got to her house, I left my bike out front and we went on a nice walk around the block. We passed a homeless-looking woman going the opposite way. About ten minutes later, the same woman passed us, on my bike. FML
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Top comments
mama2b3 20
YDI for wearing spandex biking shorts.
Raiden353 0
did she like it?
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Comments (188)
Aurik 0
*kicks you in the balls*. How's that erection coming along now? :)
jsquared3509 0
at least we know he can get a boner. if she ever wants to have sex with him she knows he'll be able to get it up.
ghostwitch1863 0
you deserved it for wearing spandex!
OooNooo 0
Maybe he never got the baseball or other sports chat to control his boner?
peacegirl345 0
Moral of the story: If you're a guy, don't wear spandex :)
maskedman 9
I used to own a pair of biker shorts like an idiot. The material cradled my meat and potatoes so snugly it was like a cotton/polyester blend Viagra. The only way to get rid of my erection was to imagine Rosie O'Donell going down on another Rosie O'Donell. I wish I still had that problem.
suppressed08 2
the turn-off made me laugh so much :P
purplemnm 9
you should have imagined rosanne barr going down on rosie o'donnel...you're welcome!!!
madskillz3088 0
Was she masterbating for you? or was she showing you her ****?? holy shit lol next time tell her you have a surprise for her, then look down
purplemnm 9
can I play with your **** puppet? 0_o
james4 0
you can play with mine lol
james4 0
well I guess u can Blane him if he like her lol
vollyball921 0
if I was her I'd probably kick u so hard you'd b cryin....
jcorbs 0
why would you do that? that's cruel and unusual.