By majesticous - 23/10/2016 15:56 - Netherlands - Spijkenisse

Today, I dropped a butcher's knife on my knuckle. Five stitches later, I can't even wipe my own butt. FML
I agree, your life sucks 9 740
You deserved it 917

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You have two hands, right? Hint: use your non-stitched hand for butt-wiping. Don't forget to use the toilet paper.

This is why you should get those fancy Japanese toilets. And why you should be careful near knives.

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You have two hands, right? Hint: use your non-stitched hand for butt-wiping. Don't forget to use the toilet paper.

Thanks for the reminder! The tricky part was opening the buttons of the pants and pulling them down one-handed.. I've got the butt-wiping down now :). Also, it's more of a metaphor for being dependent!

Time to order special elastic pants from the internet!

OP, I've broken my thumb AND burnt all ten fingertips before. It really makes you realize how much you use your thumbs/fingertips for when you can't tie laces, undo buttons, etc. XD

Thanks for your reply. I'm very happy you solved the butt-wiping issue. I was getting to the end of the expertise in that matter!

Op as #13 said, you only know how hard it is when you don't have both hands (paraphrase). I'm a left hand amputee and have been through this. You can do this. I have to live this forever, but you will heal. Look to that and don't let it get you down. Life is a learning experience if you let it. You will get passed this, but it will be a lesson you will never forget.

Wow! I feel sorry for you. I hope ur used to it a little by now.. Good luck, thanks for the kind words!

Looks like you're in a *wait for it * Shitty situation.

A shitty situation pun with up votes? What even is this?

it's reverse psychology.

Dude. Use the other hand.

Do you not have two hands?

This is why you should get those fancy Japanese toilets. And why you should be careful near knives.

Do you mean a bidet?

Dude, use the other hand! I would think that would be a no brained. Unless you only have on then FYL & good luck with clean up!

at least you still have your fingers

Ummmmm.....can't use the other hand? Or maybe take a breath and suck it up a bit?

going to get down voted but TWO HANDS

Use your other hand? Lol