By majesticous - 23/10/2016 15:56 - Netherlands - Spijkenisse

Today, I dropped a butcher's knife on my knuckle. Five stitches later, I can't even wipe my own butt. FML
I agree, your life sucks 9 778
You deserved it 922
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RichardPencil 30

You have two hands, right? Hint: use your non-stitched hand for butt-wiping. Don't forget to use the toilet paper.

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dukemisery 18

This is why you should get those fancy Japanese toilets. And why you should be careful near knives.

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RichardPencil 30

You have two hands, right? Hint: use your non-stitched hand for butt-wiping. Don't forget to use the toilet paper.

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majesticous 29

Thanks for the reminder! The tricky part was opening the buttons of the pants and pulling them down one-handed.. I've got the butt-wiping down now :). Also, it's more of a metaphor for being dependent!

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Seeya55 31

Time to order special elastic pants from the internet!

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QueenSaru 28

OP, I've broken my thumb AND burnt all ten fingertips before. It really makes you realize how much you use your thumbs/fingertips for when you can't tie laces, undo buttons, etc. XD

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RichardPencil 30

Thanks for your reply. I'm very happy you solved the butt-wiping issue. I was getting to the end of the expertise in that matter!

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niallo 23

Op as #13 said, you only know how hard it is when you don't have both hands (paraphrase). I'm a left hand amputee and have been through this. You can do this. I have to live this forever, but you will heal. Look to that and don't let it get you down. Life is a learning experience if you let it. You will get passed this, but it will be a lesson you will never forget.

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majesticous 29

Wow! I feel sorry for you. I hope ur used to it a little by now.. Good luck, thanks for the kind words!

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zedjaleaf1 11

Looks like you're in a *wait for it * Shitty situation.

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Lalala579121 27

A shitty situation pun with up votes? What even is this?

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hellnosucka 27

it's reverse psychology.

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Earths_Venus 25

Dude. Use the other hand.

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Moerighan 23

Do you not have two hands?

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dukemisery 18

This is why you should get those fancy Japanese toilets. And why you should be careful near knives.

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yerawizardlizzy 27

Do you mean a bidet?

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Yastafari 16

Dude, use the other hand! I would think that would be a no brained. Unless you only have on then FYL & good luck with clean up!

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Mudge 11

at least you still have your fingers

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skoepp 3

Ummmmm.....can't use the other hand? Or maybe take a breath and suck it up a bit?

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wow2mylife 25

going to get down voted but TWO HANDS

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Nickimariek 20

Use your other hand? Lol

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