Today, I had an argument with my wife. I told her to get back in the kitchen. How does she respond? By doing what I told her to do, and returning to hit me with a frying pan. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I got in an argument with my wife. I told her that I feel like she immediately disagrees with anything I say. She immediately disagreed and said she never does that. FML
Today, after an argument, my wife goes out to cook her curly fries in our airfryer. The thing beeps after 15 minutes; my wife goes out and announces, "Oh that's great." "What's up babes?" says I. "I put the fries in the wrong compartment. It's all your fault, you wound me up earlier." she says. FML
Today, my wife is giving me the silent treatment and has locked herself in the bedroom, all because I politely asked her to put the dishcloth away when she was done with it. FML
Today, my husband and I got into an argument. I tried to assault him with a laptop. He yelled, "Don't hit me with the computer." My apartment neighbor yelled through the wall, "Do what you gotta do, girl." FML
Today, I got home and my wife asked me why I hadn’t taken the bin out or cleaned the living room. I asked her why she hadn’t done it since she got fired 6 months ago for laziness and since then has sat on her ass watching daytime TV instead of job searching. She threw a mug at my face. FML
Today, my wife picked a fight with a guy twice my size, then expected me to “man up and teach the bitch a lesson.” I’m not insane so I of course refused to fight, then she locked me out of the house for embarrassing her in front of her sisters. I want a frisking divorce. FML
Today, I asked my wife for a kiss. She snarled, "I'm your WIFE, just fucking kiss me! You don't have to ask!" Later, I went in for a kiss and she slapped me, then yelled that it was my fault for "getting in her face." FML
Today, my girlfriend snapped at me for being lazy and incompetent, and declared that if I was going to behave like a child, she would be treating me like one. This includes safety-proofing the house, talking to me like a 3-year-old and slapping me with a wooden spoon when I do something wrong. FML
Today, as soon as I got home, my husband said he was hungry and that I needed to cook. I flipped my shit and yelled at him for a good half hour. Later, he pulled out his phone and showed me videos of me doing the exact thing to him, asking him to do things the second he walked in the door. FML
Today, my wife stabbed my hand with a fork, making it bleed. I'd only tried to take some fries from her plate. FML
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Top comments
influenza54 1
Tooo bad it wasn't an iron skillet. LOL he deserves it
IdolChatter 0
Yeah, his command was an act of genius & worked out so well didn't it. He's lucky she didn't come back with a butcher's knife.
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Comments (394)
GreenHacker 0
To all of saying YDI to this guy, I hope someday when you get married (if you ever do) you say something sexist to your husband and he smacks the shit out of you for it. Then I hope you call domestic abuse and their reply is "You deserve it".
Supahnova 14
To all of the women who said that this guy deserved having the crap knocked out of him with a frying pan-- you're fucktards. First of all, responding to verbal provocation with physical abuse is inappropriate and dumb to do. Second of all, I'm saddened that females have /yet/ to realize that you shouldn't hit guys just as you wouldn't want guys to hit you. It's completely unfair for a woman to hit a guy unprovoked or without her life being in danger just as some women would cry about guys hitting /them/ for no valid reason. Keep your damn hands off of them, ladies. Third... we don't even /know/ the circumstances behind the OP telling her to go back to the kitchen. Maybe she was cooking. Maybe she was doing the dishes. Maybe she was doing /something/ that happened to be in the kitchen. OMG, IT'S TOTALLY SEXIST!! HE DESERVED IT!! ...No. I feel sorry for the OP and the fact that he was stuck with such a violent ass wife.
nofxtime 0
They had the internet back in the late 1800s? Go back to the kitchen? Frying pan battery? You clearly have realtionship issues as well as the ability to communicate through time and space. You are like some scientist/wizard with a difficult personal life. I feel both awe and pity.
simplyapril 4
your wife totally deserves a high five for that! I have always wanted to do that to a sexist pig. Which clearly you are... usually have some sympathy for the poster however... you dont deserve it! YDI all the way
heliophobia 13
Women hate it when men tell us what to do and expect us to do it. We will retaliate. This is a bit extreme but an example of it.
paintballer247 0
"Ive got a birdie, his name is ronnie." "Well tell ronnie you got KNOCKED THE **** OUT!" -Longest Yard
glitchead 0
well still doesn't justify it, miss heliophobia (fear of the sun, thank you Mrs. Cramer 8th grade study skills)
gummibehrs 4
I hope she hit you in the face and knocked a tooth out, you sexist dickhole.
selects 0
couldn't have deserved it more you asshole
jchansfan 0
I don't get why its okay to hit guys, but hitting women makes you a monster. Shouldn't hitting anyone be wrong? I've been told a girl could be trying to kill me, and I'd be the bad guy if i took her out(Not saying i necessarly could, to be clear, but if I managed to). lmao Like wtf? How is that equality. Don't hit girls, don't hit guys, hitting and hurting people is wrong. Is taht so hard to agree to!?! WHY CAN'T WE ALL JUST GET ALONGGGGG!?! D:
Laurasian 0
Last week, my husband and I were arguing and he "ordered" me to bake him a pie. I did. Two hours later, he'd forgotten about the arguement until that pie was on his face. We BOTH thought it was hilarious, honestly.
xclegend613 0
the min. she steps outta her place and hits me, she grew a set of balls and plans to fight like a man