Today, I had an argument with my wife. I told her to get back in the kitchen. How does she respond? By doing what I told her to do, and returning to hit me with a frying pan. FML
Collection
Wild Nights Out
Last call, bad decisions and 3 a.m. texts you'll regret until noon. Cheers.
Today, I got in an argument with my wife. I told her that I feel like she immediately disagrees with anything I say. She immediately disagreed and said she never does that. FML
Today, after an argument, my wife goes out to cook her curly fries in our airfryer. The thing beeps after 15 minutes; my wife goes out and announces, "Oh that's great." "What's up babes?" says I. "I put the fries in the wrong compartment. It's all your fault, you wound me up earlier." she says. FML
Today, my wife is giving me the silent treatment and has locked herself in the bedroom, all because I politely asked her to put the dishcloth away when she was done with it. FML
Today, my husband and I got into an argument. I tried to assault him with a laptop. He yelled, "Don't hit me with the computer." My apartment neighbor yelled through the wall, "Do what you gotta do, girl." FML
Today, I got home and my wife asked me why I hadn’t taken the bin out or cleaned the living room. I asked her why she hadn’t done it since she got fired 6 months ago for laziness and since then has sat on her ass watching daytime TV instead of job searching. She threw a mug at my face. FML
Today, my wife picked a fight with a guy twice my size, then expected me to “man up and teach the bitch a lesson.” I’m not insane so I of course refused to fight, then she locked me out of the house for embarrassing her in front of her sisters. I want a frisking divorce. FML
Today, I asked my wife for a kiss. She snarled, "I'm your WIFE, just fucking kiss me! You don't have to ask!" Later, I went in for a kiss and she slapped me, then yelled that it was my fault for "getting in her face." FML
Today, my girlfriend snapped at me for being lazy and incompetent, and declared that if I was going to behave like a child, she would be treating me like one. This includes safety-proofing the house, talking to me like a 3-year-old and slapping me with a wooden spoon when I do something wrong. FML
Today, as soon as I got home, my husband said he was hungry and that I needed to cook. I flipped my shit and yelled at him for a good half hour. Later, he pulled out his phone and showed me videos of me doing the exact thing to him, asking him to do things the second he walked in the door. FML
Today, my wife stabbed my hand with a fork, making it bleed. I'd only tried to take some fries from her plate. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
influenza54 1
Tooo bad it wasn't an iron skillet. LOL he deserves it
IdolChatter 0
Yeah, his command was an act of genius & worked out so well didn't it. He's lucky she didn't come back with a butcher's knife.
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (394)
Pikalu1 3
Teehee. You honestly expected to get pity after being an ass? Yeah, she did what you told her to do, and did something you would probably never think of - retaliated with it. I hope you made her a 'sammich' and begged for her forgiveness. All these people whining about double standards? I'm sure you're the same kind of person who got what was coming to you.
emmyers 0
I would have done the same thing :/
LaLa_369 0
what an ass. you deserved it.
TeenieAmerica 9
Lol YDI and your wife is awesome.
jkpajama 0
how is she ur wife if u treat eachother like that
wednesdeyy 5
You should have grabbed the frying pan and hit her back twice as hard. Then tell her to make you a sandwich before you hit her again.
moms_mistake 2
where is this freaking #107?! i wanna see what he wrote!
Rainbow_dumpster 28
You are f*cking stupid #315. Considering that you're a woman, You must have misread the FML over and over. The OP made a sexist remark which you mistook as a general insult. You are an embarrassment to your own gender and an insecure bitch. You wouldn't like it if a man beat the sh*t out of you with a Frying Pan because you wont submit to something wouldn't want to do, now would ya?
maddy23a 5
you really did deserve it
iSolDyourSouL 0
YDI, ASSHOLE. I hope she hit you so hard that you crapped your teeth out for the following month
dollarstorepwnr 3
is it a bird... is it a plane its SUPER FEMINIST... her superpower is her sandwhich making abilities... CAN I HAS SANDWHICH :D
morphine73 2
YDI, loser.