Today, I had an argument with my wife. I told her to get back in the kitchen. How does she respond? By doing what I told her to do, and returning to hit me with a frying pan. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I got in an argument with my wife. I told her that I feel like she immediately disagrees with anything I say. She immediately disagreed and said she never does that. FML
Today, after an argument, my wife goes out to cook her curly fries in our airfryer. The thing beeps after 15 minutes; my wife goes out and announces, "Oh that's great." "What's up babes?" says I. "I put the fries in the wrong compartment. It's all your fault, you wound me up earlier." she says. FML
Today, my wife is giving me the silent treatment and has locked herself in the bedroom, all because I politely asked her to put the dishcloth away when she was done with it. FML
Today, my husband and I got into an argument. I tried to assault him with a laptop. He yelled, "Don't hit me with the computer." My apartment neighbor yelled through the wall, "Do what you gotta do, girl." FML
Today, I got home and my wife asked me why I hadn’t taken the bin out or cleaned the living room. I asked her why she hadn’t done it since she got fired 6 months ago for laziness and since then has sat on her ass watching daytime TV instead of job searching. She threw a mug at my face. FML
Today, my wife picked a fight with a guy twice my size, then expected me to “man up and teach the bitch a lesson.” I’m not insane so I of course refused to fight, then she locked me out of the house for embarrassing her in front of her sisters. I want a frisking divorce. FML
Today, I asked my wife for a kiss. She snarled, "I'm your WIFE, just fucking kiss me! You don't have to ask!" Later, I went in for a kiss and she slapped me, then yelled that it was my fault for "getting in her face." FML
Today, my girlfriend snapped at me for being lazy and incompetent, and declared that if I was going to behave like a child, she would be treating me like one. This includes safety-proofing the house, talking to me like a 3-year-old and slapping me with a wooden spoon when I do something wrong. FML
Today, as soon as I got home, my husband said he was hungry and that I needed to cook. I flipped my shit and yelled at him for a good half hour. Later, he pulled out his phone and showed me videos of me doing the exact thing to him, asking him to do things the second he walked in the door. FML
Today, my wife stabbed my hand with a fork, making it bleed. I'd only tried to take some fries from her plate. FML
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Top comments
influenza54 1
Tooo bad it wasn't an iron skillet. LOL he deserves it
IdolChatter 0
Yeah, his command was an act of genius & worked out so well didn't it. He's lucky she didn't come back with a butcher's knife.
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Comments (394)
RatIsKing 0
and #267: you didn't deserve 14 days in jail. you deserve AT LEAST 14 MONTHS!!! that's assault and battery and the justice system is seriously flawed if you get 14 days and people who don't do anything bad and you do
poeticvibez07 0
lololol that's awesome major kudos to your wife
vanavril14 1
lol you both shouldve thought this one through.
spikerhitz101 0
to # 267 wow ur a dick head! men like you are the reason I proceed to hate people! one day some girl is gonna actually fight back n kick your ass
LifeIsBull 0
YDI for being sexist.
strawberryspacejam 11
I dont think thats gonna happen anytime soon. Filthy ******
co9ol 0
neither party was right in this case. he shouldnt have made that sexist comment, but she deff shouldnt have hit him with a f***ing frying pan either. why cant we just use words....you know "you b*tch" "a**hole" stuff like that?
isthebrogan_x 0
I'm so glad she hit you with that frying pan. I'd have done the same.
Nixxi 0
hahahaha, thats what u geht oii. I would of dun tha same. u sexist.
fudrick 0
I hope someday when you get married (if you ever do) you say something sexist to your husband and he smacks the shit out of you for it. Then I hope you call domestic abuse and their reply is "You deserve it".
hvitfeldtska 0
i don't see why people are getting so worked up and saying "if the roles had been reversed bla bla bla..." that isn't the point. what if she had been black and he had been white, and he told her to "get back on the cotton field!"? everyone would've called him a racist jerk for that. wouldn't matter if he meant it or not. thing is, women (and black people. and other people) were considered less worthy for such a long time, and there are still a lot of sexist and racist groups in the world. how many sexist female groups are there in comparison? that's why women take it more seriously if they're discriminated against. a while back i read a great comment here, explaining how if a man is sexist, he's taking advantage of the power over women that men have had for so long. women don't have that power. that being said, that in no way makes it okay for girls to beat the crap out of guys. if you're stonger than someone else, and you beat them up, you're taking advantage of the power over them that you naturally have, regardless of gender. (and a butch women beating up a weak man then saying that it's fair because she a girl is just digusting -.-)